Why do some gay men think that this is acceptable?

[rozdiyle]

Obviously not all gay men. I have many gay friends who wouldn’t dream of behaving this way.

I was at a party this weekend and saw a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. He tried to grab my breasts, did grab another woman’s, and forced my hands to touch his chest. He is gay and seems to think that means this behaviour is acceptable. I had another two friends in the past, who I no longer speak to, and they would often grab their female friends’ breasts as well.

It is absolutely not acceptable. The thinking appears to be that they obviously aren’t attracted to women so therefore can paw at their bodies.

I’ve never encountered a gay man behaving like this.

Sounds like a problem with an individual.

I have had many gay friends over the years and not one of them would have done this, ever.

I think you have found a common or garden male creep. I’d slap someone who grabbed my breasts

I've never seen a gay man grab a womans breasts.

Never had this happen and have both friends and family who are gay men. Is it something in the water where you live perhaps?

Well I am heartened to hear this. The three men do know each other so perhaps it is a problem particular to this group. I hope it is.

What sort of people are you mixing with?

none of my gay friends would dream of doing this

You must mix with people with unpleasant behavioural issues OP.
I actually dont see what them being gay has to do with it. They are just men who sexually assault women and who should be reported for behaving in a criminal way.

Sounds like the problem is that your friends are twats, not gay.

Known many gay men over my lifetime, and none of them have EVER done this. How bizarre.

I work in a creative industry and know alot of gay men. I have come across gay men who behave like this. The best way to respond is

“Take your fucking hands of my breasts”.

They have absolutely no right to touch you.

And I’d add that those saying they’ve never seen this doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen!

That fashion makeover man did this on TV and people on here seem to think it's OK!
I think it's disgusting. Gay or not makes no difference. Hands off people's private parts and secondary sexual characteristics.

The only time I have been motorboated was by a gay man who was old enough to be my dad. It was absolutely shocking and disgusting

I think the best way to respond in a workplace situation is to have the feckers sacked for sexual assault. Or report it to the police. Or both.
Bizarre just to put up with.

Reminds me of the controversy surrounding John Barrowman. This arose when a fellow actor joked in an interview about Barrowman being able to tap an actress on the shoulder with his penis 'because he's gay'.

The fellow actor obviously thought it hilarious. The victim who was also being interviewed (at a fan convention) looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

Barrowman has since apologised for flashing at work, stating that he was only joking around, but he's not admitted to the above incident or another similar incident alleged to have happened on the Torchwood set.

The above mentioned interview was available on Youtube, but might have been pulled by now. I can't find the original interview, but I've found this one.

I have very big boobs, and I have almost exclusively received random gropes by female strangers in clubs who think it's a laugh.

I knew a gay man who likes to do this too. He was a twat in other ways too.

To my mind, it has nothing to do with being gay and everything to do with dominance.

Sorry this happened to you, OP. Even if you have had the misfortune of encountering the only misogynistic gay man in history (spoiler alert: you haven’t) it still isn’t your fault. Terrible way to behave.

Wow.

This actually backs up the argument that people not expected to be attracted to women get away with behaviours nobody should get away with.

It's being gay that means he gets away with it so it does have something to do with it.

Are you sure he's gay

I met a "gay" man like this. All over women, including grinding his friends wife on the dancefloor. He got obsessed with one of my female friends who thought they had a close plutonic friendship, started telling her to leave her DH and calling her in tears because he wanted to be with her. He referred to himself as gay, not bi.

I actually said this to my friend this morning. If he was straight we’d have reported him.

Great response! I stepped back when he tried to do it yesterday and the problem is but wanting to cause a scene, but if it ever happens again I hope I’ll use that.

Yes, I was wondering for a time there if I’d come across the only three gay men who does this. Disappointed to see I haven’t.

Obviously straight men sexually assault women. But they don’t tend to do it to multiple women at parties in full view of everyone where everyone says nothing because they’re gay.

I do think it’s dominance and misogyny though.