Why do some gay men think that this is acceptable?

[rozdiyle]

Obviously not all gay men. I have many gay friends who wouldn’t dream of behaving this way.

I was at a party this weekend and saw a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. He tried to grab my breasts, did grab another woman’s, and forced my hands to touch his chest. He is gay and seems to think that means this behaviour is acceptable. I had another two friends in the past, who I no longer speak to, and they would often grab their female friends’ breasts as well.

It is absolutely not acceptable. The thinking appears to be that they obviously aren’t attracted to women so therefore can paw at their bodies.

I was once "motorboated" by one of my gay friends 😅 he was a very gregarious character who made some very naughty comments at times but we all loved him 😉

How is it remotely helpful to respond saying that this hasn’t happened to them? It’s not.

Sorry to hear that. I wonder where the entitlement comes from.

I doubt very much that it’s to do with size.

Yeah, it’s just not funny though, is it?

‘Gregarious’ doing more heavy lifting than Geoff Capes there.

I have also known some gay men to be exactly like this. Not all but definitely some.
I just love mumsnet, ‘it’s never happened to me, ergo, it never happened’.

I'm having dinner with 4 gay men tomorrow night as it is my friend Bill's 60th birthday and will ask them why they haven't touched my breasts or if they've wanted to or want to. I'm 59 now, but being smallish they still look pretty good and haven't sagged. When I go back to France, I still go topless on the beach. It's not something that I've ever felt self conscious about.

I've shared a bed with plenty a gay man and they've never touch my breasts.

Yes there is a certain type of gat man who does this. It's dominance and misogyny.
Report it to the police as a sexual assault, because it is.

I would hope their answer to the first question would be ‘because I don’t have any right to’. I don’t think breast size is always the relevant factor. I think humiliating and undermining the person is probably the point.

This is just common or garden misogynistic behaviour. Any man regardless of whether he’s gay or not should be reported for sexual assault doing this. It’s about treating women’s bodies as objects.
If he did this to a woman who’s a survivor of SA, are they supposed to feel ok about it because the bloke isn’t likely to fancy them? Of course not.

I've unfortunately met gay men who do this too, it's assault, but we question ourselves because of their sexuality.
It's horrible 😞

You’re going to ask your friends why they’ve never tried to sexually assault you?

There is definitely a problem with misogyny amongst some gay men.

Yes, and it’s also the sheer entitlement. They do it in plain public sight, they feel so entitled to be able to do so.

I have 6 gay men in my close friend group. None have ever touched me inappropriately.

One of them did annoy me slightly once, saying that boob's are weird and disgusting, but hey ho, that is how he feels.

I have never experienced anything other than respect and solidarity against misogyny from any gay man.

Then you have been very lucky.

My best friend is a gay man and is utterly repulsed by the female form. I’m safe from any kind of boob grabbing!

That's a bit extreme to be 'repulsed' by the female form. Is there a reason for this? I get he likes men/prefers men, but as a straight woman, I prefer men, but still think some women are beautiful, and the female form is lovely.

It's not mandatory to think women are repulsive just because you're a gay man. I have a close gay friend in his early 40s, who came out in his late teens. Was in a relationship for 10 years with a man, (broke up in 2023.) He says my daughter (late 20s) is gorgeous, and if he was straight she'd be his type. He certainly does not find women 'utterly repulsive.'

both options here are misogynist and creepy

I know a fair bit of gay men and I never had any of them do that or saw it done to anyone . I don’t think it’s a gay men problem but a individual one

I have a couple of gay relatives I love dearly. The only negative experience I've had with a gay man is with a work colleague of my husband who had an obvious crush on him. He became abusive towards me when we met at functions etc after he realised it would never be reciprocated. He thankfully found another job.

It’s not all gay men but there is an issue with some gay men feeling that they can do this because they’re gay. They are also still men.

It’s not gay men, it’s horrible men who do this.

No, because straight men do it too. It’s nothing to do with being gay, it’s to do with being an entitled cunty twat.