Why do some gay men think that this is acceptable?

[rozdiyle]

Obviously not all gay men. I have many gay friends who wouldn’t dream of behaving this way.

I was at a party this weekend and saw a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. He tried to grab my breasts, did grab another woman’s, and forced my hands to touch his chest. He is gay and seems to think that means this behaviour is acceptable. I had another two friends in the past, who I no longer speak to, and they would often grab their female friends’ breasts as well.

It is absolutely not acceptable. The thinking appears to be that they obviously aren’t attracted to women so therefore can paw at their bodies.

Yes, absolutely sure. He was at the party with his boyfriend.

The men I’m talking about are 100% definitely gay.

I have two gay friends and neither would ever do such a thing .

So have I. But there are gay men who do do this.

Neurodiverse?

My best friend is gay. We met as idiot teenagers and despite many a drunken night, passed out on the same bed, jumping onto each others backs, lap sitting on packed trains, or a particularly stupid prank where one of the group would run screaming into a room, scoop a random friend up and run screaming back out, he has never once touched me inappropriately.

I don't think this is a gay issue, it's a this-guy-is-a-dick issue.

This would be absolutely no excuse whatsoever.

I am not saying that all gay men behave this way. But some do. And they get away with it because they’re gay.

I have oodles of gay friends and none of them have ever behaved this way towards me.

I do think this is possibly more acceptable amongst gay men (they can be very physical with each other and that isn’t weird), but this friend sounds like he has some serious boundary issues.

I've had a few gay male friends over the years and gone to a couple of their house parties. I haven't been groped but the way a lot of them spoke about women was pretty vile. It's easy to forget that they are in fact men and they are part of the patriarchy. The only difference is that they don't want to fuck us.

This one had boyfriends too and seemed very camp, lots of people thought he was definitely gay, including my friend who was very close to him until he declared his love.

This has never ever happened to me.

Gok Wan is the fashion stylist who used to do it and called breasts "bangers".

😂 never takes more than a few posts!

I’ve been down a bit of a rabbit hole about this today and it seems it most definitely isn’t just these men.

Just as rape is more about power than sex, a gay man grabbing an unwilling woman’s breasts, even in a platonic way, has nothing to do with sexuality.

https://yeoja-mag.com/sexual-harassment/

We cannot touch a woman without her permission. We gay men are not the exception, and her permission to us is not implied because we are gay.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/gay-men-womens-consent_b_3490917

An example: I was at a gay club in Atlanta with a good friend of mine who is a heterosexual black woman. While dancing in the club, a white gay male reached out and grabbed both her breasts aggressively.

Shocked, she pushed him away immediately.
When we both confronted him, he told us: “It’s no big deal, I’m gay, I don’t want her– I was just having fun.”

https://everydayfeminism.com/2013/03/gay-mens-sexism-and-womens-bodies/

I asked if he had seen my colleague – he had not – but then he proceeded to put his hand up my dress and grab my private lady parts.

“Babe, relax it’s ok, I’m just having fun,” he told me before giving my boobs a squeeze.

https://www.starobserver.com.au/opinion/gay-men-need-stop-sexually-assaulting-women-shannon-power/152159

Why Do Gay Men Keep Touching My Boobs

https://www.autostraddle.com/why-do-gay-men-keep-touching-my-boobs-the-autostraddle-mini-roundtable-149243/

What a great comment. Thanks for that.

They are gay. Gay men do assault women.

My gay friends don’t do this and it actually sounds like a man problem.

I have not encountered this amongst gay men, but I have seen it occur with other straight women, always whilst in drink, not that that excuses it.

Of course it’s a man problem.

Could you tell them before alcohol is taken or individually that the grabbing of you stops here and now.
Happens again next stop
Phone call to the police
Gay or not still be viewed as sexual assault I'd hope.

I’ve never come across this with any gay man.

A gay man who tries to grab numerous women's breasts, is still a man trying to grope women - pervert and sexual predator.
Last time a gay man tried to do this to me, was in about 1997 in G.A.Y. but he did at least ask - "Oh my god, are you tits real, can I touch them?" And backed off when I said no.

I never see two of them any more (they were at the party but I did not speak to them). The third I mustn’t have seen in over 10 years and probably won’t see again for another 10 years.

I agree, it is assault.

I have no idea why people keep commenting this. It contributes absolutely nothing to the discussion.