Why do some gay men think that this is acceptable?

[rozdiyle]

Obviously not all gay men. I have many gay friends who wouldn’t dream of behaving this way.

I was at a party this weekend and saw a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. He tried to grab my breasts, did grab another woman’s, and forced my hands to touch his chest. He is gay and seems to think that means this behaviour is acceptable. I had another two friends in the past, who I no longer speak to, and they would often grab their female friends’ breasts as well.

It is absolutely not acceptable. The thinking appears to be that they obviously aren’t attracted to women so therefore can paw at their bodies.

Even that is just so out of order. I imagine he wouldn’t ask a man if he could touch his penis.

Reminds me of the clip of Louis Walsh groping Mel B's arse

Didn’t know about this incident. Disgusting!

Never had a gay man try to grope me like this. A female work colleague did at a work do once and I told her to piss off and not touch me again. Rancid bitch.

It’s stopping just short of ‘this didn’t happen’, isn’t it? Far more important to point out ‘not all (gay) men’ than to actually confront the fact that some women clearly have experienced this and some gay men clearly are arseholes.

I don’t think this is a gay man thing. This guy is weird and creepy.

Yes I've seen this with gay men a couple of times and with women a few more times [always in pubs/clubs]

Nobody tried it with me. Think it was the death stare.

Likewise! Not a single gay person I have ever encountered would do anything like this. To me or to anyone else !
It is just bad behaviour from any person to touch someone in this way without their consent and it should be called out

yes has happened to me on several occasions. I also have big boobs. And women grabbed them too when I was younger. You are more sexualised when you have larger breasts. I used to try my best to make them look smaller. Awful.

A few gay men have a breast fetish, so I am told. Maybe breasts remind them of butt cheeks?

Yes, that is exactly what it is. I wonder if they’d have reacted the same way if I’d come on to say a straight man tried to grab my breasts last night.

It is a recognised phenomenon amongst some gay men. I have posted links regarding it.

I've come across this before and the man in question was very misogynistic. He was quite open about his disdain for women . He said something along the lines of, I don't want to fuck them so there's absolutely no use in them, and then tried to convince us that most gay men felt the same way. Nasty piece of work that one!

The problem is with this man not his sexuality.

Apologies. I was (clumsily) expressing shock if that makes sense. I didn’t mean to diminish anyone’s experience.

Who cares?

I did not say his sexuality was a problem? The problem is that gay men who behave like this get away with it because they are gay.

Never had a gay man do this, but have had some women, and I suppose the thinking is the same, if they don't want to sleep with me, it's fine.
It's not, because for one thing, who really knows what someone's sexuality is? They could be bi, and just assume they'll get away with it because no one expects them to be attracted to a woman.
It's like if a woman is staring at another woman in a changing room. It's no more ok than a heterosexual man doing that.

When I was at uni there was a night we used to go to which attracted a very gay crowd and I used to get my breasts grabbed all the time. I never had that happen in a straight club and it was unrelenting. This was in Brighton in the early 00’s. One guy did it and I twisted his nipple in rage. Oddly he never did it again. I remember talking about it to female friends and she said she had experienced the same, it was universal. It is definitely a thing. I wonder, is the guy that did this in his late 40s/ 50s? I cannot imagine a gen z doing this

Well they shouldn't! And if I saw any man grabbing a friend's breast like that I'd say something. Gay or straight !

OP, I've had this done to me by a gay man too about 10 years ago . I just froze and didn't say anything. Wish I had said something it still creeps me out.

People are responding to your post and they’re just trying to help you out by sharing their experience.

None of my gay friends (male or female) have ever behaved like this in the 30 years I’ve known them. I agree with @Wingwalk your mate sounds like a twat

Late 30s. I used to spend a lot of time with them in our 20s and it was bad then but my friends never expressed an issue so I felt I’d be making a fuss over nothing.

Last night completely reinforced how unacceptable it always was. My friend who was clearly uncomfortable and saying no had always laughed along in our 20s. Maybe she was never as alright with it as I thought.

None of my gay friends have ever tried to touch my breasts. I work in the arts and have lots of dealings with gay men professionally and socially. I wonder if it is because they are quite small... I'm not very chesty. I do wish my boobs were bigger, but not big noticeable ones. I think Katie Price looks ridiculous.