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Downstairs neighbour pulls his blind down and stares at me every morning when I take my daughter to school. what would you do?

177 replies

Usernamemustcontainspecialcharacters · 19/10/2026 08:35

I’m looking for some advice because this situation is really starting to affect me, and I don’t know what to do about it.
I live in a block of four flats, and my downstairs neighbour lives alone. Every morning when I take my four-year-old daughter to school, he pulls his blind down and stares at me through his window.
What makes me particularly uncomfortable is that I’ve noticed it happens when I’m taking my daughter to school, but not when I’m on my own or when my partner is with me.
It’s happened again this morning, and I’ve been left feeling sick to my stomach. I don’t know why he’s doing it, but the fact that it keeps happening in this particular situation is making me increasingly uncomfortable.
I should be able to leave my own home with my daughter without feeling watched or anxious. I don’t want confrontation with a neighbour, but I’m starting to dread these encounters, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to feel comfortable where I live.
Has anyone experienced anything similar? Would you ignore it, speak to the landlord, or report it if it continued? I don’t want to make assumptions about his intentions, but I also don’t want to dismiss how uncomfortable this is making me feel.
I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from anyone who’s dealt with a neighbour who repeatedly watches them like this. Am I overthinking it, or would you find it unsettling too?

OP posts:
DecisionTime123 · 19/10/2026 15:59

@nomas said earlier "Staring at women and making them feel uncomfortable is never ok" but apparently it is on MN.

OP, do what you need to do. My DD23 is at uni but visits most weekends and is being stared at openly by my downstairs neighbour - a man in his 60s who is out in his porch 8am to 8pm, or leaves his front door open so he can dash out whenever anyone is passing.

People he likes (usually men or couples) he scampers up to them calling out "oo 'hello 'ow are YOU!!" and people he despises (the handful of lone women on this estate) he's just there to watch and occasionally shout at - when no one is around as a witness of course. I did go and ask him what the issue was and he said he had no idea what I was talking about. And has carried on doing it. When DD isn't outside he stands on his patio and looks directly up at my windows, I don't think he specifically gets off on looking her; its the power, its knowing he is intimidating her.

We are leaving next week, he doesn't know it yet, but were we not I would need to confront him as DD has now said she doesn't want to come home at weekends any more. Difference is, he has a partner living with him, and she's started to join in. Its not age, its not being a bit odd, it's a power thing, for control. They are bullies who no doubt if tackled would say they were the victims.

I think the OP is entitled to ask the police anything she wants, and they can only say sorry we can't help.

Eristealviper · 19/10/2026 16:49

Notanotherslice · 19/10/2026 10:49

What I find most funny about this is the fact you have got a ring door bell and dash cam to gather evidence on your neighbour as if he is a master criminal! Just bizarre and right here a case of an unnecessary neighbourly dispute.

don’t remember any1 asking what you found the ‘most amusing’….🧐🤨

ChickNorris · 19/10/2026 16:55

Chewbecca · 19/10/2026 15:50

The poor guy hasn't done anything except look out of his window and upset OP's 'gut'.

Community is dead 😢

If he wanted community feel he could behave a bit more like a normal neighbour instead. This is not on the OP.

HoraceCope · 20/10/2026 07:19

i believe you op

user293948849167 · 20/10/2026 07:23

Maddy70 · 19/10/2026 15:04

Strange post
Why do you think someone looking out of their window is weird ?

It’s a man who lives alone and he’s only staring when she’s got her 4 year old daughter with her. Why would you think that might be weird?

HurdyGurdy19 · 20/10/2026 07:31

What was the police's advice when you reported it? Are they going to take any action?

HowTheLight · 20/10/2026 07:37

Shessweetbutapsycho · 19/10/2026 15:49

Tell me you have no understanding of sexual offending without telling me you have no understanding of sexual offending… 🙄

I was raped when I was ten by someone I knew. It still doesn’t make imagine that a man looking out a window has sexual intent, or has committed a crime.

CeffylCoch · 20/10/2026 07:45

I wouldn’t be waving at him, will probably encourage him. I would take a photo of him on my phone every time he does it. He will know you have clocked him and are not happy about it

HelpMeGetThrough · 20/10/2026 07:57

If you are seeing him go through your bin on the ring doorbell, use the voice feature (I think they have one) and shout “Oi, get out of my bin you cunt”.

Slightly aggressive I will admit.

Gloriia · 20/10/2026 08:16

HelpMeGetThrough · 20/10/2026 07:57

If you are seeing him go through your bin on the ring doorbell, use the voice feature (I think they have one) and shout “Oi, get out of my bin you cunt”.

Slightly aggressive I will admit.

Doesn't someone have to ring for you to be able to interact? Otherwise yes that would seem a good plan I agree.

Floof79 · 20/10/2026 08:16

Why are almost all of the OP’s replies variations on her original post? Same turns of phrase, in the same order. Reads as if it’s been AI generated

Floof79 · 20/10/2026 08:18

Also, what’s the value in adding a dye pack to the bin? You already know it’s him looking in it via your Ring camera

Doveyouknow · 20/10/2026 08:19

It could well just be that he gets up and opens the blinds at the same time as you head out in the morning. The bins thing is a bit weird but I also find it a bit odd you are filming a shared entrance. Does he (and your other neighbours) know you are regularly filming them and watching them?

Gloriia · 20/10/2026 08:20

HurdyGurdy19 · 20/10/2026 07:31

What was the police's advice when you reported it? Are they going to take any action?

They can't tell people to stop staring out of windows.

They'll have surely nodded sympathetically and suggested the op returns if he actually does anything anti social.

HRTQueen · 20/10/2026 08:42

Op your neighbours behaviour is meant to make you feel uncomfortable why is there so many excuses being made for this sort of behaviour, men intimidating women ffs it’s as old as time yet still excused

I seen no issue with reporting intimidating behaviour to the police why should woman be made to feel guilty for wanting police support against a man who is acting in a suspicious manner which the police now take far more seriously

there are so many incidents I have experienced, as many women do, which I now wish I had reported to the police but didn’t as didn’t want to make a fuss when a fuss should have absolutely been made

RumPidgeon · 20/10/2026 08:45

Sorry if it’s been suggested before but could you set your phone to record and zoom in on him as he’s doing it? I’d leave him under no illusion that he’s been captured on camera (for a couple of days on the trot).

Usernamemustcontainspecialcharacters · 20/10/2026 09:25

HurdyGurdy19 · 20/10/2026 07:31

What was the police's advice when you reported it? Are they going to take any action?

So they’ve taken all the details needed and advised me to make sure dash cam is always recording and to not confront him she agreed that it is weird and I did the right thing by reporting this! Asked me to send the footage in. As there was a incident once also he swore in the ring doorbell as we didn’t close the gate😂 “a public disorder act can be considered”

OP posts:
Usernamemustcontainspecialcharacters · 20/10/2026 09:27

HRTQueen · 20/10/2026 08:42

Op your neighbours behaviour is meant to make you feel uncomfortable why is there so many excuses being made for this sort of behaviour, men intimidating women ffs it’s as old as time yet still excused

I seen no issue with reporting intimidating behaviour to the police why should woman be made to feel guilty for wanting police support against a man who is acting in a suspicious manner which the police now take far more seriously

there are so many incidents I have experienced, as many women do, which I now wish I had reported to the police but didn’t as didn’t want to make a fuss when a fuss should have absolutely been made

i agree! Things like this happen and get brushed off leading to something serious in the long run then people wish you had don’t something sooner. When it comes to my daughter I’m not going to take any chances!

OP posts:
Usernamemustcontainspecialcharacters · 20/10/2026 09:28

Doveyouknow · 20/10/2026 08:19

It could well just be that he gets up and opens the blinds at the same time as you head out in the morning. The bins thing is a bit weird but I also find it a bit odd you are filming a shared entrance. Does he (and your other neighbours) know you are regularly filming them and watching them?

I have a sign displayed it was actually suggested to me by my landlord

OP posts:
Usernamemustcontainspecialcharacters · 20/10/2026 09:29

Floof79 · 20/10/2026 08:16

Why are almost all of the OP’s replies variations on her original post? Same turns of phrase, in the same order. Reads as if it’s been AI generated

Sorry didn’t realise I was being assessed by a tutor

OP posts:
BaobhanSith · 20/10/2026 10:40

A public disorder for swearing in his own shared entrance/garden? Really 🙄

Just because you have a sign at the entrance doesn't mean you are recording legally. Especially as you are recording more than just the door.

Seeline · 20/10/2026 17:12

Usernamemustcontainspecialcharacters · 20/10/2026 09:28

I have a sign displayed it was actually suggested to me by my landlord

I really can't picture this - can you draw a diagram? Location of your flat, neighbour's flat, parking, bins, camera etc

sweetpotatopie2 · 20/10/2026 17:26

It sounds like a tricky situation. Pulling his blind down and watching you only when you're with your child when he doesn't do that at other times AND regularly looking into your trash bins is definitely worrisome. I think contacting the police on their non-emergency number was a wise idea because this guy has singled you out for some reason. Obviously, you can't tell if he's dangerous or not but it's far wiser to err on the side of caution and do what you can to protect yourself and your daughter.

Also, sometimes there's a lot of rudeness on here, and predictably, the ones with the smartest mouths usually didn't bother to read closely enough to understand the issue before starting it up. I suggest reporting them (hit the top three buttons on the upper right of the dialogue box the rude post is in). That kind of thing ruins a forum, people leave when it's not stopped. I hope your situation with the building weirdo gets resolved soon.

Error404FucksNotFound · 20/10/2026 17:30

Put a note on the inside of your bin saying I'm recording you watching my daughter.
If he's not then it won't occur to him the note has anything to do with him.

saveforthat · 20/10/2026 17:41

Usernamemustcontainspecialcharacters · 20/10/2026 09:29

Sorry didn’t realise I was being assessed by a tutor

I don't think a sign is enough. All residents need to agree and sign consent. We looked into this in our block and whoever owns the camera becomes the "data controller" with associated duties.

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