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Downstairs neighbour pulls his blind down and stares at me every morning when I take my daughter to school. what would you do?

177 replies

Usernamemustcontainspecialcharacters · 19/10/2026 08:35

I’m looking for some advice because this situation is really starting to affect me, and I don’t know what to do about it.
I live in a block of four flats, and my downstairs neighbour lives alone. Every morning when I take my four-year-old daughter to school, he pulls his blind down and stares at me through his window.
What makes me particularly uncomfortable is that I’ve noticed it happens when I’m taking my daughter to school, but not when I’m on my own or when my partner is with me.
It’s happened again this morning, and I’ve been left feeling sick to my stomach. I don’t know why he’s doing it, but the fact that it keeps happening in this particular situation is making me increasingly uncomfortable.
I should be able to leave my own home with my daughter without feeling watched or anxious. I don’t want confrontation with a neighbour, but I’m starting to dread these encounters, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to feel comfortable where I live.
Has anyone experienced anything similar? Would you ignore it, speak to the landlord, or report it if it continued? I don’t want to make assumptions about his intentions, but I also don’t want to dismiss how uncomfortable this is making me feel.
I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from anyone who’s dealt with a neighbour who repeatedly watches them like this. Am I overthinking it, or would you find it unsettling too?

OP posts:
MerryAquaKoala · 19/10/2026 10:58

Totally understand OP. I'm with you, this would not be ok with me. He only does it when you go out with your 4 year old? Sorry too many pervy creepy bastards in this world, and he's probably one of them. I'd not give him the benefit of the doubt. Trust your instincts, always. Can you move?

user293948849167 · 19/10/2026 10:59

Trust your gut, this could all be completely innocent or it could be creepy.
If you’re finding it creepy and inappropriate you may well be right.
I’d stare back at him and possibly wave when you know he’s looking - so he knows you know. Also with the bin, could you or your partner wait until he’s doing it and go out and ask him what he’s doing? Not in an aggressive way just so he knows you know he’s doing it “are you looking for something” kind of thing.
If he does have bad intentions knowing you are “on to him” may make him back off.

Also agree with PP about doing a Sarah’s law request.
There won’t be much you can do if he is on the sex offenders register but at least you will know and be even more careful with your DD than you would be already.

BCSurvivor · 19/10/2026 11:00

Playing devil's asdvocate here, but is it possible that he perceives you are staring into his downstairs windows every time you go outside, so makes a point of pulling his blinds down?
Particularly if you pass quite close to his windows.
Obviously that doesn't excuse him rifling through your bin.

Lovephil · 19/10/2026 11:03

Usernamemustcontainspecialcharacters · 19/10/2026 09:43

There’s also the issue with my bin. Every week on bin day, he comes over to my bin, opens the lid and looks inside it. We have a Ring doorbell covering the front of the flats, so this is something that can potentially be seen on the footage. I find it strange that he repeatedly opens my bin and looks through it, and it’s another thing that’s adding to my discomfort. I’m not saying I know why he’s doing it, but it’s not something I’d expect a neighbour to do every single week.

Why don’t you or your partner tell him in a non-confrontational way that you have noticed this (the bin thing) on your Ring doorbell and would like to know why he does it?

HoraceCope · 19/10/2026 11:04

this sounds awful op.

Gloriia · 19/10/2026 11:08

MerryAquaKoala · 19/10/2026 10:58

Totally understand OP. I'm with you, this would not be ok with me. He only does it when you go out with your 4 year old? Sorry too many pervy creepy bastards in this world, and he's probably one of them. I'd not give him the benefit of the doubt. Trust your instincts, always. Can you move?

Pervs tend to be a bit more covert in their perving.

He is making a point and I'd bet it was noise related .

SilverPink · 19/10/2026 11:09

Notanotherslice · 19/10/2026 10:49

What I find most funny about this is the fact you have got a ring door bell and dash cam to gather evidence on your neighbour as if he is a master criminal! Just bizarre and right here a case of an unnecessary neighbourly dispute.

I was thinking that 🤣 not sure the police really care about some random looking in your bin

IzzyGone · 19/10/2026 11:15

I think with the bin situation I would leave a note on the top of the rubbish inside the bin

to whom ever it concerns - stop looking in the bin each week

does he look in other two bins?

what age is this man? working, retired, wfh?

changing your routine to see if the situation changes is a good idea - then you'll know. But keep changing the routine

HurdyGurdy19 · 19/10/2026 11:15

What advice did the police give you?

I find it odd that you are recording him twice (your dashcam and the Ring doorbell), but he's the one whose actions are being seen as nefarious, when all he's doing is looking out of his window.

You say that "we" have a Ring doorbell, but it's not clear if "we" refers to you and your partner, or the four flats with equal access, or the owner of the block.

And is he actually staring at you, or just looking around? What do you see as the difference?

I would think if he's looking at you/your daughter in an inappropriate way, he'd be hiding behind the blind and trying not to be seen, rather than making a point of opening the blind, and opening himself up to these kinds of accusations

IzzyGone · 19/10/2026 11:17

BCSurvivor · 19/10/2026 11:00

Playing devil's asdvocate here, but is it possible that he perceives you are staring into his downstairs windows every time you go outside, so makes a point of pulling his blinds down?
Particularly if you pass quite close to his windows.
Obviously that doesn't excuse him rifling through your bin.

could be and then he opens them back up once she has gone - thus the looking between the gaps

but then why doesn't he take this action when the op is on her own?

Burningbud1981 · 19/10/2026 11:22

You’ve gone to the police but wont get your partner to speak to him.. ok…

Holidaymodeon · 19/10/2026 11:35

WhatsItAllForAnyway · 19/10/2026 08:38

Maybe your daughter reminds him of a child he lost, or of his own daughter when she was little? You don't know why. I don't think this would bother me too much. If he has bad intentions, which I'd hate to leap to, your daughter is safe with you. Maybe just have a chat with your daughter about general safety around neighbours?

lol I doubt very much that he’s choosing to watch someone at the same time every day because they remind him of someone who’s dead. How weird is that?
there’s a lot of focus on this thread about how the blinds work and not the fact that he is behaving like an absolute creeper.
if you or your partner don’t feel comfortable asking him, I would put a note through to say you’ve noticed him going through the bins and ask if there’s a problem, failing that ask the police to go and have a friendly chat with him, if he does have weird intentions he should hopefully back off once he realises he’s been noticed.

AlwaysExtraHot · 19/10/2026 11:37

I'd ask him why he looks in your bin. I'd put it in a 'am I doing something wrong? Should I be putting things in a different place?' way
About staring at you, maybe stare back and see what he does.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 19/10/2026 11:38

How can he see anything if the blind is down?
When I pull mine down, the window is blocked.
By the blind.
Hmm

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 19/10/2026 11:40

You've gone to the police about this?
WTF

MerryAquaKoala · 19/10/2026 11:42

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 19/10/2026 11:38

How can he see anything if the blind is down?
When I pull mine down, the window is blocked.
By the blind.
Hmm

🙄

'Just to clarify, he pulls his blind down and then seems to watch me through the gaps.'

MerryAquaKoala · 19/10/2026 11:43

Gloriia · 19/10/2026 11:08

Pervs tend to be a bit more covert in their perving.

He is making a point and I'd bet it was noise related .

He is attempting to be.

'Just to clarify, he pulls his blind down and then seems to watch me through the gaps.'

FrustratedApples · 19/10/2026 11:48

I'd give a smile and big wave. Every time.

You could also put a note on your bin lid. "To the person who opens my bin every day - is there a problem?"

Seeline · 19/10/2026 11:51

How close is your car parked to his window? Maybe you wake him up every morning!

I'm always concerned about this ring doorbell - they shouldn't be overlooking public areas, only your own property.
Does the bloke check anyone else's bins?

Alwayswonderedwhy · 19/10/2026 12:12

Seems odd to put the blind down and look at you rather than leave it up & just look out. He must realise you can still see him.

LondonLass2026 · 19/10/2026 12:14

If he's just looking, and not getting his willy out, DO NOT scream "paedo!" at him. You'll find yourself on a slander charge. Also if a local troublemaker were to overhear, you'll get vigilantes and all sorts, over what is likely an innocent guy.

Also, unless his house is across from yours (so you can't help seeing in) then aren't you doing the same thing to him? You're obviously looking at him, too.

MerryAquaKoala · 19/10/2026 12:16

JC so much gaslighting on here OP. Sorry - your concerns are valid x

Seagullontheroof · 19/10/2026 12:17

I used to have an elderly, disabled neighbour whose day was brightened seeing the children going to and from school.
And now I'm at home more and DC are grown up, I have the same feeling.
Maybe lighten up OP? Unless there's anything more intrusive, I wouldn't worry about it.

Leoie · 19/10/2026 12:17

It could be innocent. I have fond memories of the deaf lady across the road regularly looking out her windows. We both ended up waving every time. When she passed away her husband said she wanted me to have a necklace of hers. I still have it 20 years later

RaggedRocks · 19/10/2026 12:18

Maybe he is a ghost?