Downstairs neighbour pulls his blind down and stares at me every morning when I take my daughter to school. what would you do?

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I’m looking for some advice because this situation is really starting to affect me, and I don’t know what to do about it.
I live in a block of four flats, and my downstairs neighbour lives alone. Every morning when I take my four-year-old daughter to school, he pulls his blind down and stares at me through his window.
What makes me particularly uncomfortable is that I’ve noticed it happens when I’m taking my daughter to school, but not when I’m on my own or when my partner is with me.
It’s happened again this morning, and I’ve been left feeling sick to my stomach. I don’t know why he’s doing it, but the fact that it keeps happening in this particular situation is making me increasingly uncomfortable.
I should be able to leave my own home with my daughter without feeling watched or anxious. I don’t want confrontation with a neighbour, but I’m starting to dread these encounters, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to feel comfortable where I live.
Has anyone experienced anything similar? Would you ignore it, speak to the landlord, or report it if it continued? I don’t want to make assumptions about his intentions, but I also don’t want to dismiss how uncomfortable this is making me feel.
I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from anyone who’s dealt with a neighbour who repeatedly watches them like this. Am I overthinking it, or would you find it unsettling too?

Leaving a note in the bin seems a sensible first step.

I would smile and wave and mouth a cheery, good morning!

He obviously knows you're aware of this, so I doubt he'd be doing something so overtly suspicious if he has ulterior motives. I agree with the pps that it's likely something passive aggressive to do with noise or your car facing into his window.

The bin thing is weird, but people are weird, and it certainly doesn't scream sex offender.

If you have a ring doorbell in a communal area, please make sure you have proper permissions and are following all the guidelines. The last thing you want is him, or others, turning that back on you.

Could you or your partner speak to him directly? Say you've noticed him looking out at you every morning, is there a reason? If there's an innocent explanation he should be able to offer it. If there isn't, he'll know you've got his card marked.

Does your landlord own his flat too?

The first thing is trust your instincts.

The easiest issue to solve is the issue with your neighbour rooting through your bin. You need to buy a gravity lock for it. The locks are designed to stop your cf neighbours filling your bin up but will obviously also stop your nosy neighbour from searching through your rubbish. Although it’s a lock, bin men have no problem accessing the rubbish because the lock unlocks once the bin is on the back of the vehicle and has been turned upside down. (See photo)

Stopping your neighbour from watching you and your daughter each morning would be difficult. As pp‘s have said, it could be innocent or coincidence but why pull down his blinds and watch through the gaps if it’s totally innocent? Are you willing to park somewhere else for a couple of weeks to see what he does?

I agree that this is the odd bit. But I reckon he thinks OP can't see him when he puts the blind down, hence him putting the blind down to do his peeping.
OP, how is it that you can see him? - is it that you can see his whole silhouette through the blind, or can you only see his eye peeking through a crack in the blind? (So sorry to be graphic and disturbing, but is there a chance he's doing anything awful like touching himself?)

IIJM that thinks that bin locks are a pretty bonkers idea?

Is his name Tom?

I would be unsettled at the consistency of his behaviours. They may be totally innocent, but they may not be. Trust your instincts. Get a gravity lock for the bin today, and wave towards his window every morning with a big smile, even if you don't mean it.

Men shouldn't be allowed to look out of windows, disgusting behaviour.

I think you're right tbh, what people think it's normal for someone to target a family by looking in bins and peering from closed blinds?

He's a creep who thinks he's secretly getting whatever motivation he has fulfilled. He needs to know you see him, or he won't stop. If he escalates, so be it, call the police. You have the power not him, not be scared to have a bad neighbourly relationship because you already have one. I've worked with men like a previous poster, who push and push thinking they can get away with it and the minute you push back and are firm they scurry away.

If he wasn't so creepy and was just doing the bin thing I'd be tempted to wrote a big note on top of the bin bags saying smile you're on camera :) then he knows he's seen but doesn't have his name on etc. But I think his behaviour is a cause for concern beyond that.

I would be tempted to put a note in the top of the bin saying “Fuck off you nosy sod!”

When I was a child we had an elderly neighbour who would stand at his window and wave as we were going in and out. My mum would sometimes help him with shopping, everyone thought he was harmless.
One day when I was leaving for school he came out onto his path and told me to stop wearing trousers to school (it was winter and I was 11) because he preferred 'looking at your arse in your skirts'.
Completely understand why you feel uncomfortable OP, I would too based on the experience I had. He could just be a bit nosy or complete coincidence but the consistency of it would set me on edge.

I would walk right up to the window as he peered out and loudly say 'what the fuck do you think you're doing looking in My bins'.

If it’s in the morning, maybe he’s not properly dressed or half-asleep? So he’s pulling the blinds down to stop you looking in and then watching through the gaps until you’ve gone?

I suggest this because I have a voile privacy blind in my kitchen and when I get up, I go down and put the kitchen light on. However, my kitchen is right by a path and parking area, so if anyone drives in or is coming along the path, I put the kitchen light off so they can’t see in. Not that I’m a hideous sight in the morning, I just don’t like people looking in at me when I’m still waking up and not fully dressed (although perfectly decent). I then watch to see when they go so I can put the light back on.

So, this man could be thinking you/your daughter are staring in at him and he doesn’t like it. Obviously you’re not, but that might be in his head. TBH, if he was a paedophile, I’d imagine he’d be less obvious about staring and not draw attention to himself by pulling the blinds down.

The bin thing is a bit strange, but people often do that to look for space so they can shove their extra rubbish in. Is your rubbish in the bin in black bags or is it all loose?

Good grief, OP. All this pernickety gaslighting! Your gut is telling you he’s a weirdo, you’re looking out for your child - trust this feeling and respond in a defiant manner. Let him know you see, you’re not intimidated and he needs to stop staring at you and looking in your bins. Or at least phrase it as a question. People on here love to pull others to pieces, ignore.

I can`t believe you have contacted the police over someone looking out their own window, this is mental no wonder we cant get any when they are needed. He has done nothing wrong.

I have never contacted the police ever before this and I did it through non emergency I have paid my national insurance and when I have a concern I have every right to contact them I’m not the one wasting time here and this day and he you never know what’s going on behind the blinds! All I am doing is trying to look out for my daughter the way any other parent would.

Strange post
Why do you think someone looking out of their window is weird ?

My sister lived near a girls secondary school and her neighbour (a man in his mid 60s) lived in the house next door. Without fail he would be outside on the dot, pretending to trim his low hedges, just as school was closing for the day. He did this so he could be low to the ground as the girls were walking by his house in their school skirts 🤢

My mum admittedly did a bit of dodgy parking outside my sister’s house one time (she is disabled and can’t walk far)

He came out all self righteous and said “Don’t you know there are school girls coming out in a minute!” My mum said “Yeah, I know, that’s why you’re out here again you pervert!” He was gobsmacked and slithered off inside.

Thankfully my sister moved shortly after.

I’d have to wave so he knows you’ve clocked him. If you feel it’s off it often is.

I'm intrigued as to what you could possibly have said that explained why you felt this was a police matter. 'I pay my national insurance therefore I get to report a man looking out a window because 'you never know what's going on behind the blinds'?

If this was me I would have lost my cool by now, strapped kid in the car and went over and rapped his window ask him what he is looking at.

Well, I assume that whoever took the call on the police non-emergency line will have said 'And have you ever spoken to this man about it? No? But you called us.'

Tell me you have no understanding of sexual offending without telling me you have no understanding of sexual offending… 🙄

The poor guy hasn't done anything except look out of his window and upset OP's 'gut'.

Community is dead 😢

I would give him the kind of patronising wave that royalty used to give to their subjects - just like the queen mother did. By doing this you are implying that they have gathered there to acknowledge someone who is of a higher social status. Ive done it to neighbours when I wanted to emphasise the social hierarchy and really piss them off.