I get it. You don't drink. But please shut up about it

[justteanbiscuits]

A friend gave up drinking earlier this year. That's fine and completely her decision.

I rarely drink, and honestly get 'drunk' maybe twice a year - and by drunk I mean just quite tipsy, not Drunk with a capital D. Due to health reasons, I didn't drink at all for five years, and it's only the last two I've started drinking occasionally when out / at a party.

We're off to a mutual friends party in a few weeks. I plan to have a few drinks. The friend has already started with the sanctimonious "you'd enjoy it so much more if sober", people don't need to drink to have fun, you should try not drinking etc etc.

How do I politely tell her to shut the fuck up. Yes, I don't HAVE to drink, but I'm choosing to. I like occasionally getting a bit tipsy.

I don’t drink. My husband is a sober alcoholic (sober 7 years). It’s only mentioned by us if we’re asked. No need for sweeping statements

For me its the insulting way it suggests that I am too stupid to understand the benefits of not drinking or smoking or whatever it may be.

I understand that smoking is dangerous for health. Didnt make it easier for me to stop! I felt miles better when I finally managed it, but I didnt need to explain the health benefits to anyone else! Same with drinking, same with clean eating and all that kind of stuff. We all know, we just choose differently for whatever reason.

I agree. Those that do it are MASSIVELY annoying, but not everyone does it in fact I would say that fewer do it than don't its just that they are the only ones you know about as they dont stop wanging on. Everyone else just....gets on with life!

I like a drink but I’d never try and force one on someone else, that must be incredibly frustrating.

You don’t need to drink to have fun - yes you don’t need shoes to run but it fucking helps 😆

Dead right.
In my experience people who don't drink maybe for even health or medication problems. Are often singled out and even harassed by drinkers.

Who accuse them of being really miserable and not normal.

Me too. Aside from when I order it, I’ve never mentioned it because it’s so incredibly uninteresting. I’m dismayed at the lost opportunity to be a smug twat. Because I am neither vegan nor teetotal and definitely don’t under-eat, this is my one opportunity.
The solution may be to start having oat milk, because then I can also be very smug about the no dairy.

This!!

YES! I am the same, I couldn't give a toss whats in anyone else's glass. I dont drink but I really dont care if others do.

However, in my experience its the drinkers who go on and on and on nagging those of us who dont drink relentlessly eg "Come on, surely you can have just one", "dont be so boring", "live a little" blah blah

Why- alcohol makes me feel like shit, why would you want me to feel like that on purpose?

Its bizarre. Strangely, none of them mind it when its time to go home though and they want a lift 🙄

When people say “you’d enjoy it so much more sober” I say something like “no I definitely wouldn’t, which is why I’m choosing to drink. I’m sure that’s true for you though which is why you’re not”

Not actually an insult, it doesn’t really say anything at all, hard to parse any meaning out of - but it’s structured a bit like an insult so they shut up.

Anyone who's given up anything.
Men (mostly) who have lived on beer, chips and pie for most of their lives losing weight by just eating sensibly and telling everyone how easy it is.

I think your friend is my sister. She cannot say anything at all on any subject without mentioning she doesn't drink, or other people are drinking they are mad or people don't understand how she doesn't drink. I want to scream.

I’m sure your friend won’t last five years of abstinence if she continually feels the need to preach 🙄 (she’s not sober. A sober person wouldn’t mention it) I haven’t touched alcohol in over twenty years but I can’t imagine any occasion where I’d need to espouse the superiority of sobriety over doing whatever the fuck someone else wants to do with their body, life or time…enjoy your party op 🥳

Have you read the responses from those of us who don’t push our non drinking on others? Drinkers frequently attempt to push alcohol onto people choosing not to drink.

Yeah, when you are at the pub or a night out, it is FAR more common to be harassed about not drinking than the other way around. Very few people go to pubs or social occasions to drink just coke after all. Drinking (often to excess) is the norm in the UK- just look at the way Brits behave abroad! Its embarrassing.

Also, the drunker people get, the more likely they are to become boorish and annoying about it