I get it. You don't drink. But please shut up about it

[justteanbiscuits]

A friend gave up drinking earlier this year. That's fine and completely her decision.

I rarely drink, and honestly get 'drunk' maybe twice a year - and by drunk I mean just quite tipsy, not Drunk with a capital D. Due to health reasons, I didn't drink at all for five years, and it's only the last two I've started drinking occasionally when out / at a party.

We're off to a mutual friends party in a few weeks. I plan to have a few drinks. The friend has already started with the sanctimonious "you'd enjoy it so much more if sober", people don't need to drink to have fun, you should try not drinking etc etc.

How do I politely tell her to shut the fuck up. Yes, I don't HAVE to drink, but I'm choosing to. I like occasionally getting a bit tipsy.

I'm not being nasty at all, this is a lighthearted thread and I responded in kind.

In fairness most people are naturally sober and naturally thin.

This. Being evangelical about ANYTHING is so utterly boring to be around.
In my experience that includes drinking, religion, keto and veganism. I am sure there are more!!

You have much better teetotal creds than she does OP, I'd be bouncing that right back at her. "Aww are you struggling seeing other people drink? It's okay, it won't feel like such a big deal when you've been teetotal for longer. You won't feel the need to even mention it once you get used to it. I remember when I didn't drink for 5 years... etc" - bore her at her own game!

Oh no! I didn’t realise this was a thing!
I gave up milk in coffee about 30 years ago because I just went off it when pregnant.

I’ve got a helluva lot of sanctimonious proselytising to catch up on. 😇

You called them 'the worst'.

Back peddling doesn't change the fact it was a nasty thing to say.

Recovering alcoholic here, sober 9 years. Parties/events are far more fun with alcohol, that feeling you get after a glass of wine and you start relaxing and enjoying yourself. I say that as someone who goes to parties/events still but honestly, they’re not as much fun anymore.

"Are you raging jealous of us Sophie, off to enjoy ourselves with a few legal G+Ts when you can't."

She will get very uppity about the "can't" and will tie herself up in knots explaining that of course she can but just doesn't etc. Back at her! So just keep plugging that one, the monster needs to shut up. Let her explain, better to have her justify her own stance than constantly lecturing you lot!

Exactly. I was quite baffled when I was told I was no fun just because I dont drink. That is so not true. Guess my so called friend was justifying her own drinking.
It works both ways!

For everyone else who is just using mumsnet as normal, I've got one man who hates me, who keeps following me across mumsnet, trying to turn threads against me

I have no idea what this has to do with anything.

But yeah, I thought it was a nasty post so I called you out.

Happy to leave it now.

Okay please do, the thread is moaning about people, but in lighthearted way.

Surviving alcoholism, changing to veganism for health or animal safety reasons, are noble amazing things. Being naturally thin despite what you eat is one of life's gifts, like being able to dance.

Fair point! 😊

Well OP it goes both ways. I don't drink, I never have and a selection of comments I've had from those that do over the last 3 months have been:
"How do you enjoy yourself when you go out?"
"Why are you even in a pub if you don't drink?"
"Try one you'll like it"
" It must be so boring"
"I thought you were an Atheist"
"I bet you're fun at a party" (said in a rather sarcastic tone).
"It's ok to drink at your age"
I don't judge people who drink so why do drinkers feel they have to judge me?

People who don't drink are almost as annoying as people who post shitty gifs all the time.
Lighthearted of course!

Actually I’m the opposite, I stopped drinking alcohol a few years ago and I hate saying “ I don’t drink alcohol anymore “ as I feel people look at me as if I’ve grown two heads ! Fortunately it’s becoming more common for people not to drink so it’s becoming a bit easier.

It is important to respect each other’s personal choices; a polite but firm reminder that you support her decision not to drink and would appreciate the same understanding in return may help establish healthy boundaries.

Following people around mumsnet who are just engaging and chatting gets old quickly

I'm allowed a gif here and there - 2 on a thread won't kill you, I promise 💐💐

I went vegan and stopped drinking for health reasons. I'm absolutely lovely! Unfortunately to make things worse, those two things have also made me thin. But it's not natural, honest.

I rarely drink but don’t really care what others get up to, so long as I am not having to look after you. A bit different in your younger years but having to look after a pissed middle aged person is embarrassing.

I dont doubt you are @5128gap ! - dont take it to heart!

There are worse people out there, stalkers etc xx

😂😂😂😂

Same

I only ever talk about it if other people ask me

As someone who was sober for quite some time I think she's definitely overstepping here. Its fine for her to be excited and proud of her own sobriety but not for her to push it on to you.

I remember making conversation about how annoying it was that so much socialising was focused around booze here, but I never told friends to give it up ever. In some sober circles (AA and otherwise) it can all get a bit evangelical.

I'd just say to her "I'm really pleased you are doing so well in your sobriety. Im fine with my moderate drinking, I don't need to drink to have fun, but it's just something I enjoy doing from time to time. Everyone is different."

Hopefully she'll get the hint otherwise you may need to be a bit more blunt in the way other posters have suggested!

Even worse - people who switched to oat milk