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Original poster

How old would your children be before you left them for a day?

296 replies

yesiknowithasbeendonetodeath · 15/10/2026 11:12

Mine are really young now so obviously not on the cards for a while.

I don’t want to wish their childhoods away or anything but I am wondering when I’ll be able to have a day out shopping or go to a museum or a day with friends without it costing so much in childcare as to make it pointless.

I am kind of thinking maybe 10/11?

OP posts:
Autumnalhibernationisthedream · 15/10/2026 14:24

We’ve always had 13/14 for a few hours then older for the day. 10/11 seems nuts to me but to each their own. I always say the problem isn’t likely to be a fire etc, it’s a strange dog coming into the garden, or someone canvassing/ coming to the door, although actually our toaster spontaneously burst into flames once (not while we weren’t home!)

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 15/10/2026 14:24

My son is a super responsible 10 nearly 11 yr old, they're still in primary school at that age! You cannot leave them alone a whole day. He gets left up to an hour in the daytime and never at night. He is fine with that, knows what to do in an emergency and how to use the house phone. I wouldn't leave him for longer than an hour or two for a while longer. Maybe 14 ish/year 9 or 10. There's too many risks, I came home the other day and he hadn't notice the fire alarm going off as he had headphones on, he could hear it a bit through them, but hadn't put 2 and 2 together (luckily it was faulty and nothing on fire) but it made me realise how little they still are at that age, whilst in theory he knows what to do in a fire, piecing together an annoying beep in the background of his music with a potential fire he can't hear/see/smell elsewhere in the house - nope.

Lkt32 · 15/10/2026 14:24

Mine are 11 and 14 and I've not left them on their own at home yet.
14yo has additional needs so that's different

11yo is oddly terrified at the idea, even though she gets buses to school and back by herself.
I'm hoping she'll get over that and I imagine she would be OK left for the whole day by aged 13/14.
As I normally have to be home with her brother anyway, it rarely comes up. One of us parents just works from home.
Of her friends, some are home for short periods by themselves. Not typically a day. She sometimes has a friend round if their parents are working. They don't seem keen on holiday camps at this age but are happy going round each others houses and will entertain themselves if theyre together, so it's easy for me to have them

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BugJuice · 15/10/2026 14:31

yesiknowithasbeendonetodeath · 15/10/2026 11:45

I don’t know any secondary aged children who use them.

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Mine are 13 and 11 and will both be in a hockey club next Thursday and Friday (half term) as DH and I will both need to be in the office all day.
Otherwise I generally wouldn’t leave them for more than about 4 hours. Not for any particular reason, and actually I’m sure they’d be fine for longer, but they’d be bored at home alone for a whole day. They’re not the type to spend the day on screens etc.

Figgygal · 15/10/2026 14:39

Ds is 14 leave in the last 6 months allowing him to stay home for the day if we're taking his younger brother somewhere he isn't interested in doing

To be honest, it's been a game changer as we have a dog and we always have to think about what we're going to do with them if we're going somewhere that they can't come with us.

He's very clear that if he's told he's coming somewhere it's non-negotiable and he comes otherwise we're giving him that bit more freedom. Plus he's got some more homework now so that quiet time works well for him too

He was probably being left on his own for a couple hours at a time from y7 though

SometimesthingsMatter · 15/10/2026 14:43

Depends on the child, they start secondary school at 11. I'd say when the child is mature enough to walk to and from school alone, they can be left for acouple of hours, esp these days when we all have mobile phones etc.

Yewlez · 15/10/2026 14:43

Yoheresthestory · 15/10/2026 11:14

10/11 I’d only leave for a few hours. And most mums on here would be horrified at that. To leave them for a whole day I’d say more like 14/15. And I’d not love doing it if they were on their own completely, more from a boredom/ lonely perspective.

Same. My eldest is 17 and I first left her for a long period of time around 14/15. My youngest is 12 and I wouldn't leave him alone all day. I do leave him with his sister though.

Hotdogsandfries · 15/10/2026 14:43

WTF?

My DD has had a part time job since she was 14?

Of course she can stay at home on her own for a day.

EmmaB1309 · 15/10/2026 14:45

I wouldn’t at 10/11, no. My daughter is just 12. We started leaving her for a couple of hours when she turned 11 and since 11.5 she’s been letting herself in after school a few days a week and seeing to herself until dad and I get in from work between 4:30 and 6ish. I wouldn’t leave her a full day, not till she’s 14/15 maybe?

SometimesthingsMatter · 15/10/2026 14:49

Hotdogsandfries · 15/10/2026 14:43

WTF?

My DD has had a part time job since she was 14?

Of course she can stay at home on her own for a day.

Exactly! Kids used to have paper rounds too.

BySharpBee · 15/10/2026 14:49

redhotsummer · 15/10/2026 11:14

10/11 is way too young! I’d say 16. I was a teacher for over a decade and taught many 10/11 year olds. No way on this planet that is old enough. For an hour or so, fine. If you are staying fairly local. For a full day? Nope.

Edited

10/11 IS quite young to be left home alone for a whole day, but remember that children behave very differently in same-aged peer groups at school than how they naturally are (more silly at school when they have friends to impress and not enough playtime to burn off energy). At home, they would be much different. But around 12 is the age we left our DD alone for a few hours at a time, though through necessity rather than for fun. Younger than that I'd be looking for them to go to a friend's house with an adult present and a day out shopping etc. is something one can plan for

Franpie · 15/10/2026 14:50

From secondary school

JRM17 · 15/10/2026 14:51

DS is a very sensible and self sufficient 9yrs. I leave him for up to 1.5hrs in the day but I would never leave him alone after dark. However I know some of his friends and I wouldn't leave them alone long enough to go pee. If my DS keeps maturing the way he is I'd probably leave him alone for a day at about 13.

JustAMinutePeople · 15/10/2026 14:51

I wouldn’t leave my 12 year old alone for more than 3/4 hours BUT it does get a lot cheaper when they can start having play dates (without you) and then sleepovers with their best friends. Free childcare and I love having their friends over in return.

clopertyclop · 15/10/2026 14:53

Mine are 10 & 11. We leave them to go to the shop etc but wouldn’t leave them for longer. We’ve only recently let them go to the shop/park on their own

Chilly80 · 15/10/2026 14:55

I wouldn't leave my 13 year old all day but I WFH so school holidays not an issue. If I worked in an office maybe I would. My mum was a SAHM till I was 14 so wasn't left myself until then.

G5000 · 15/10/2026 14:57

Hotdogsandfries · 15/10/2026 14:43

WTF?

My DD has had a part time job since she was 14?

Of course she can stay at home on her own for a day.

right? I find some answers here extremely surprising. You don't leave them before they are 14 or even 16 - so what do you do, get a babysitter whenever you want to go out, or when you need to work and they have a day off? Sure I live abroad (Switzerland), but I don't think the UK as such is that much more dangerous. And over here, you can get officially certified and start working as a babysitter at age 13 - so you can hire a Swiss 13yo to babysit your 15yo!

Nomorewino · 15/10/2026 14:58

Id leave DC1 who is 11. Hed be fine, very sensible and would stay in touch.

BySharpBee · 15/10/2026 14:58

daffodilandtulip · 15/10/2026 12:27

The police attended when my neighbours called them to say I’d left a 11&14yo home alone together (single parent, lockdown, supermarket trip). They took no action once they had confirmed their birthdays.

What ridiculous neighbours you had! That seems particularly vindictive given the rules back then. Obviously you were allowed to take them with you if you had to or if they were both younger, but you chose not to put them at risk of catching or spreading Covid. I wonder if they were Covid-deniers and anti-vax and chose to take it out on you 🤔

AquaShark · 15/10/2026 15:02

I have a nearly 11 yo and definitely not a whole day home alone. He now walks to / from school alone. Stays in the house alone for up to an hr / goes to the nearby park with friends for an hour but no more than that.

BackJustToSay · 15/10/2026 15:02

Growlybear83 · 15/10/2026 12:08

museum visits were always a real highlight when my daughter was young. We used to go to our local museum at least once a week from when she was a toddler and she loved it, and so did I. She ended up doing voluntary work at the same museum when she was 16. But we also went to all the London museums regularly from when she was around five or six and it was always a lovely day out for both of us. There was never an issue with her attention span and although we were interested in different exhibits, she understood thst we had to take turns in looking at the things we both wanted to see.

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I think that definitely depends on the child! I'd be spending all my time trying to stop my fidgeting wannabe acrobat swinging off the exhibits... 🤦‍♀️

Sooz817 · 15/10/2026 15:07

When she was in year 6 we started testing the waters by popping out for half an hour here and there and then building it up to a couple of hours at a time. Once she hit secondary in year 7 she was needing to spend the whole day sometimes out of necessity (e.g. Inset days) but we phone regularly to check in

Lommela · 15/10/2026 15:10

G5000 · 15/10/2026 14:57

right? I find some answers here extremely surprising. You don't leave them before they are 14 or even 16 - so what do you do, get a babysitter whenever you want to go out, or when you need to work and they have a day off? Sure I live abroad (Switzerland), but I don't think the UK as such is that much more dangerous. And over here, you can get officially certified and start working as a babysitter at age 13 - so you can hire a Swiss 13yo to babysit your 15yo!

Show quote history

I wouldn't need to get a babysitter but I'd probably look around for activities that dcs can do if I needed to be out for a long day, we're lucky that there are interesting workshops and clubs tied in with their existing hobbies and friends so it's not the same as a holiday camp for childcare. It's not so much about not thinking they can't manage on their own but more about them having interesting things to do and not being stuck on their own for hours. But I'd also arrange my time and activities so I didn't need to be out, eg I've never needed to leave dcs at home to go to get groceries as we get a weekly delivery, and if I need a top up I'd get a Whoosh fast delivery or do it when they're at school. If I want to go to see an art exhibition I'd do it when they're busy at school, not during their holidays or in the evening.

Tryagain26 · 15/10/2026 15:16

I wouldn't leave my children for a day at 10/11. Once at secondary school I'd leave for a few hours in the day or when 12/13 to go to work for the day but I wouldn't go to another city or leave them to go shopping

Tryagain26 · 15/10/2026 15:19

yesiknowithasbeendonetodeath · 15/10/2026 11:25

With the 10/11 thing, do you use holiday clubs then? That’s a genuine question because the reason I thought of that age (more like 11 tbf) is because I don’t think many secondary aged children use holiday clubs. So kind of assumed most were left for at least a typical working day at that point.

@picktheacorns i am but I do find the 9-3 school day absolutely ZOOMS by insanely fast!

Most holiday clubs go up to at least 12 and there are activities for older children dance camps, drama workshops, sports camos etc