DH flatulence - wwyd?

[NutsForMutts]

DH of 20 years aways farted a lot in bed, and anywhere, and habitually overeats and drinks.

I have always hated it, find it super disrespectful and stinky and a total mood killer. Have said this many times and pleaded.

The newer thing is him absolutely blasting it out, around me but even moreso every time he goes to the bathroom. The sound rings out through the house.

In a talk about our relationship recently, I mentioned the sound was causing me a feeling of distress on a daily basis. Nothing has changed.

What would you do?

Why can’t the man take responsibility for what goes in his mouth? Why is it up to the OP to ‘feed’ the oaf the ‘right’ foods?

If I had to smell my partners farts I would go off him instantly (barring the rare accidental one) but otherwise it’s so disrespectful. They are saying Smell my guts! Then they wonder why you don’t want sex with them.

Of course people can control it!!

If someone is cocking their leg to fart in your direction, it is probably safe to assume it is deliberate...

Op doesnt have to lighten up or be ok with it.

Red flag klaxon

This less about the reasons behind his choices and focus more on the impact on you

Why don’t you read the thread

This man can very very clearly control it. He saves it for his wife

So he wakes up at 5am and starts farting purely maliciously in order to upset his wife?

As an IBD family we have to have a sense of humour over farting. I do think lifting his leg at the table is boorish but that's not the extent of OP's complaints. She is angry that he farts in the bathroom and in the bed early in the morning.

My DH farts. Over the years his farts have become louder and longer. He rarely farts in his sleep though and if his farts ever smell he will leave the room and fart.
When we married we were both bloated due to not farting so we had a chat about farting six weeks in and I’d never farted in front of anyone before so it took a while to be comfortable enough but we both fart now and it’s no biggy. I wouldn’t fart in front of anyone else though.

If he was stink farting in bed/covering my head with blankets/throwing farts at me I’d have a problem but it’s just normal farting.

I need to go to the doctor for a general checkup, be honest about his alcohol intake and his gastritis
Does he hiccup a lot as well?

You make a lot of excuses for him - he doesn't mean any harm, he doesn't notice etc but you have told him it causes you distress and he continues to do it. He can very well help it - "forcing" it out while beside you requires effort. The distress it causes you doesn 't matter to him.

@NutsForMutts

Medically you can try charcoal tablets. Lots of them! Diet too research on line.

But as others say the problem really goes deeper.

He doesn’t fart in front of others; rarely in front of his teen; he farts loudly and in the OP’s bed every single morning from 5am and despite her pleading with him to show her the same level of respect he shows others…. He cracks on regardless.

Right so multiple members of your family have IBD @MyFriendNorman

Bit different…

My DH was always extremely flatulent and did do some of things you describe, almost taking pride in it. Then he was unexpectedly diagnosed with coeliac disease, it was unexpected as he was sent for a long list of tests and didn’t even know that one had been included. Anyway after switching to a gluten free diet it’s reduced almost completely. Not sure if the performance was an evolved way of dealing with the embarrassment of the discomfort. But the difference since he became gluten free is incredible. Can you persuade him to get tested, in the interest of his own health? Coeliac disease can cause lots of other serious complications so it might help you both in the long run?

No, I didn't say that, I said we are an IBD family.

An immediate family member has Crohn's disease, and several family members are coeliac.

”we are an ibd family” would indicate multiple members of your family suffer from a medical condition whereby releasing farts and often not being able to control when and where is a symptom

NOT. The case with the OP

If you want to stay married I suppose he needs his own bedroom too 😞

I honestly do not understand how anyone can hold farts in. I literally can't?! I have IBS, BAM, and reflux. Tears post childbirth. But even when younger without the BAM/reflux, I have never been able to keep farts in.

Because we don’t all have a long litany of health condition that directly impact our digestion may help you understand?

Nothing wrong with a few not so smelly ones but if you have loud, smelly and frequent ones all the time then you need to change your diet.

Whenever I'm annoyed with DP he'll say "at least I don't fart in bed". Which he doesn't, ever. I always think that's a pretty low bar, but apparently not.

I occasionally hear sounds from the bathroom, but that's OK, that's where they belong.

I've never heard my Dad fart either, and if we ever did when DC, we would have been sent to the bathroom.

All these people who think it's unavoidable, are you farting loudly in business meetings or at the theatre etc?

No, but in my own home with my life partner and kids it's a more relaxed situation where we don't have to "mask".

I can't believe people aren't fully relaxed and authentic with a person they spend their life with. People fart and burp. Its not considered polite so we don't do it in company. But at home we don't have to be polite. That's the whole point.

The lifting his leg at dinner isn't the OPs husband!!!

You do have to be considerate though?