DH flatulence - wwyd?

[NutsForMutts]

DH of 20 years aways farted a lot in bed, and anywhere, and habitually overeats and drinks.

I have always hated it, find it super disrespectful and stinky and a total mood killer. Have said this many times and pleaded.

The newer thing is him absolutely blasting it out, around me but even moreso every time he goes to the bathroom. The sound rings out through the house.

In a talk about our relationship recently, I mentioned the sound was causing me a feeling of distress on a daily basis. Nothing has changed.

What would you do?

It is Incomprehensible to me that you have stayed this long.

The farting is gross but also his “suck it up wife” response is even more gross.

Please say this man WFH?

OP please take some strength from the fact that you are not the only one to suffer from this gross behaviour.
DH doesn’t see any fault with it at all, and it revolts me.
I am looking forward to solutions, other than a ltb which frankly is something that I consider most nights as the duvet flutters in the air!

Gawd how can you live like this

So take practical steps to sort it out. Feed him less sugar, less meat (definitely the two contributors for my DH) and try and get him something to improve his gut health. Mine now takes probiotics ‘to keep him young’.
I can tell when he’s eaten a pack of haribo in the car!

hes not a child though, and has free will to eat what he likes. Why are we presuming she feeds him?

It’s obvious . He either changes or you leave him . You have asked he sort this out and it’s become worse and he doesn’t care . Tells you a lot about him . What a prize .

Separate rooms. That's disgusting. I admit I laugh at fart humour but not in bed, that is crossing a line.
You can't really criticise what he does in the bathroom though, that's what toilets are for.

Why would you put up with this?! DH and I never do this around each other - a lot will
come on and say they are super comfortable farting in front on one another but it’s a red line for me.

You need to discuss this with him and explain how badly it's affecting you. I guess most of us at sometime let out one gently or accidentally if when we're around others, but if he feels he needs to let it out, the bathroom has to be the option - not your bedroom, in your lounge etc.

As said above, I'm sure eating less meat helps. I was away with eight friends (men and woman) and funnily enough we started talking about farting. The vegetarian and pescartarian (me) clearly farted far less, and I'm pretty sure you can't smell mine (at least I can't).

I hear all these thoughts and observations, and I'm glad I'm not the only one! He is increasingly difficult to live with as we get older. Has supreme self confidence and doesn't consider the feelings of others a lot. But I don't think he means harm and because of that and because it's largely a natural function - I think he reasons that it's fine and I have the problem.

Farting doesn't bother me at all, I do be 🤔 when I read how repulsed people are on here by it and would actually leave a relationship if someone does it near them, just out of curiosity where do you go when you want to fart ? Do you squeeze it out hoping no one hears, leg it to the garden ? Hold them in ?

Has supreme self confidence and doesn't consider the feelings of others a lot

he really does sound profoundly unpleasant

I would sleep separately and tell him I am so turned off by him I dont want to sleep with him.

My DH farts a lot - extremely smelly but not usually noisy farts. I have seen him literally clear a room! However he doesn't do it on purpose and has no control of it.

Are you sure your DH has control over his farts? Surely very few, if any, people have control over the noises they make in the toilet?

Same thing I do at work or at a funeral or in a lift or any of the other myriad times it is absolutely not OK to fart. Hold it in. Ive got kids, we joke, we make fart jokes, we know it’s natural, we are shaming anyone. But it’s not a public activity. I don’t fart in front of anyone, not my partner not my kids. If I’m asleep or very very sick there are exceptions, we aren’t pretending it doesn’t happen. But I do feel as the OP clearly does that there is a basic level of respect needed. With respect comes a basic level of not asking them to suddenly become aware of your arsehole and inhale your intentional gas if you can avoid this.

I fart if I’m alone, I don’t fart if I’m not, simple as that really. OP it’s the disrespect and I don’t know how you live with this.

Fortunately, I live alone but sometimes they really do just come out when you get up from a chair or start walking and also, as you get older, you find some foods that used to be ok are now wind bringers and also slip out when you are asleep. I know because it can wake you up!

I'd never deliberately do it in front of anyone which is obviously a tad more difficult if you live with someone but your husband does sound bloody annoying and should reign it in and be more mindful that you hate it.

Hmm, this is difficult. Farting around you- yes, gross and disrespectful. I don't know if you can complain about him farting in the bathroom though. That is the appropriate place to do it. Maybe you need to approach this from a health and diet point if view- say that you are worried about his gut health. Although, the follow you gave about his attitude would be enough to put me off entirely!

It's the waking me up in bed from 5am onward with these loud blasts that is really grating. He forces it out, it's not a gentle release. And I'll be cooking or we might even be eating at the table and he'll lift his leg and bum cheek and let one out. I don't think he'd do it in front of his mum or a colleague but I'm like the dog to him apparently.

My DH has an issue with this due to meds he takes but he isn't one for inflicting it on me in bed as a rule 🙈 I suggested peppermint oil capsules which he gladly accepted as tbh he was embarrassed about it- which is a good thing! The peppermint oil has helped considerably

He should be excusing himself from the table at least and heading for the toilet for that...!! The in bed to me is also a big no

It’s threads like this that make me ever so grateful that I don’t share my lovely, clean, comfy, double bed with anyone else. Or my house for that matter.

I have god awful gas due to a combination of IBS, endometriosis, SIBO and perimenopause, it’s miserable but I try to be as discreet about it as possible. There is no need for your dh to be this way and you need to talk to him. He’s a grown man ffs not 10, he needs to grow up.

Nobody should be making allowances for this kind of behaviour. I would be kicking him in the nuts if he did it , on purpose, in my bed . And as for at the table , he'd end up wearing his dinner . It's really horrible OP , I don't blame you for being disgusted. And as he gets older I fear it might get worse .

There is gross behaviour and there is a medical issue. After weight loss surgery , my stomach groansand growls and creaks and generally I have bowel and wind problems. I do everything I can to be discrete but my guts have their own agenda. I don’t believe that should make me a social pariah.
That said my husband is from a background where it was ok to ‚let it go‘. We have had to have words about consideration for others and manners. He now makes an effort to be discrete.

That’s horrible OP. My DH does occasionally but not to that level. He claims it makes him feel unwell holding it in … I ask what he’d do if he had the sort of job where it was unacceptable to fart in the workplace 🤷🏼‍♀️