DH flatulence - wwyd?

[NutsForMutts]

DH of 20 years aways farted a lot in bed, and anywhere, and habitually overeats and drinks.

I have always hated it, find it super disrespectful and stinky and a total mood killer. Have said this many times and pleaded.

The newer thing is him absolutely blasting it out, around me but even moreso every time he goes to the bathroom. The sound rings out through the house.

In a talk about our relationship recently, I mentioned the sound was causing me a feeling of distress on a daily basis. Nothing has changed.

What would you do?

My dad was the same. He would lift a leg or bend a bit and push it out. Sometimes with a grunt. This was not an accident that slipped out, it was a choice. It stank to high heaven and would make you gag and he did not care.

my husband otoh - we have been married best part of 30 years and we have never intentionally farted in front of one another.

You must get terrible stomach pains and bloating from holding all those farts in .

Can you at least have separate bedrooms? Ideally separate bathrooms too…

Don’t know the answer but definitely separate beds.

Yes- why not just go to the bathroom? Thats how I was brought up, anyway

Mumsnet can be very odd around farting and pooing. A couple of weeks ago there was a thread about someone complaining about the smell of poo in a public toilet, the general feeling on there was that is what public toilets are for and we should all put up quietly with the smell of strangers bodily functions no matter how extreme or revolting it may be. Now we have someone complaining that they can hear their husband farting in the bathroom at home and that’s apparently disrespectful.
Personally I’m of the opinion that we shouldn’t expose anyone else to our stinks and sounds more than necessary but that is a natural bodily function so the closer you are to someone the more likely you are to witness it. Going to the bathroom is preferable but I certainly wouldn’t want my loved ones to be holding it in and suffering because I am too delicate to smell a fart.

It sounds like he has zero respect for you. That would bother me more than the farting itself iyswim?

You can’t control his behaviour. However, you don’t have to tolerate it - don’t sleep, eat or stay in the same room as him. He will quickly learn the lesson. If not, you got your answer on how he views your relationship.

Are you genuinely saying that your husband wakes up at 5am to lie in bed and fart loudly at you?

I think that's exactly what the OP is saying.

Do you have children with him?

Yes we have teens and this is reflective of his general lack of consideration. But I think it's his wiring to be a d*ck, not his intention. Yet he seems unable to modify his behaviour in any way.

omg

does he do this in front of their friends?
they must avoid bringing home friends. Does the house smell? You have probably got used it it!
Do they also fart without abandon at home in front of you all?

I am guessing your husband also leaves the toilet on a grotesque state?

I’ve never intentionally farted in front of another person in my life and I’ve never heard anyone I don’t live with fart. Never heard my friends fart, my in laws fart, my colleagues fart. Only my kids for obvious reasons and my DH because I’m around him when he’s sleeping.

If I have terrible pain and bloating so must everyone else - I haven’t noticed any but maybe. Perhaps I do and it’s just normal because I don’t know any other way.

Just going to the bathroom is a strange solution. That means holding it in, excusing yourself, moving rooms and surely by then, it won’t just come out at will. It’s just as likely to be gone. Like a sneeze!

It's mainly in bed and the toilet. I get that the toilet is fair game since it's private.He needs to shut the door though. I can hear it throughout the house. He does have his own bathroom.

She’s not his mother!

He overeats. We will have a full meal and he'll eat a bowl.of cereal and maybe something else immediately after. Takes medication for reflux but also drinks heavily.

I would never have married him. This is an absolute deal breaker for me as I don’t find people who fart in company attractive, so there is no available romantic relationship there. I did in fact break up with the last guy I dated for precisely this reason, he was quite nice otherwise, but no, it’s grim.

So it’s his extreme selfishness and lack of respect for you that’s the problem then, isn’t it.

Yeah the attitude is a real problem for me but I think he genuinely thinks it's not bad.and I'm overreacting.

As I read your first post I was wondering why you haven’t left him. With each subsequent post he sounds worse and worse. Utterly repulsive man. Is it because of your teens that you can’t leave?

He’s unable to modify his behaviour? So he would do this during a job interview?

That's so gross and honestly would give me major icks, as much as I don't like using that saying but this totally justifies it! I couldn't be intimate with someone when their arse cheeks habe just been rattling with deliberate vile farts from being a glutton too. My husband I think has farted near me maybe 4 times in 15 years so he's the other end of the scale, but yeah, couldn't put up with that at all.

So we can add arrogance, dismissiveness and misogyny to his wonderful traits. It doesn’t matter op if he doesn’t think it’s that bad - you do. He doesn’t give a shiny shit about what you feel is the problem.

You don’t need his agreement op to divorce him.