Being forced out of family home?

[chexxx]

My friend has been getting divorced for a while but it’s dragging on.

House in both names, 3 kids, 1 is an adult now though. Both living in the house.

My friend has a boyfriend for about 6 months or so but he’s never been to the martial home- he has his own house and my friend will visit him there.

Her husband has a girlfriend too. Recently the girlfriend has been at the marital home every day. My friend thinks she’s moved in but hasn’t been told officially. So my friend, her husband and his new girlfriend plus the 3 children are living in the house. My friend thinks this isn’t healthy for the kids but husband won’t listen, it’s become very hostile.

Now the husband and new girlfriend have started moving my friends personal belongings out of the martial home and into a shed in the garden which isn’t watertight. She comes home from work and puts things back but they keep doing it.

I feel like this is abusive and she is being forced out. She was told to stay until the finances and divorce are settled.

She doesn’t have any family to move to nearby, and she wouldn’t move in with her boyfriend this soon especially with children.

How can I help her?

I think she absolutely needs a solicitor's advice.

She should also tell work the situation if she hasn't already. She is essentially at risk of being made homeless and they have a duty of care. She stands more chance of them treating her sympathetically if things happen that affect her performance at work.

Get your friend to citizens advice if she can't afford a solicitor. Her husband is being abusive and she can ask to request urgent temporary housing orders (medidas provisionales or medidas previas) to have the girlfriend removed from the property. It sounds like the husband is trying to bully her out of her home and her share of the equity. She needs legal help.

Tell her to get back in the house NOW!

If he refuses to let her in or has changed the locks she cam ring the Police as he is preventing her from access to her own property.

She's going to have to toughen up.

I’d go to the police and speak to them about it! Frankly the behaviour from ex husband and his gf are abusive and the police can and do get involved especially when children are also involved

It doesn't sound as if it's illegal (IANAL). It sounds as if he's just trying to make it so unbearable for her that she leaves and lets him have the house just to get away from it. So this is the one thing she must not do.

I agree legal advice is necessary (perhaps Citizens Advice?). Can she put a lock on her bedroom door to protect her belongings? Whatever she does, she must not leave or he will completely fuck her over.

Your friend needs to stay in the home as uncomfortable as it is. She also needs to have a solicitor even if she needs to pay on a credit card as she can’t afford not to.

id recommend she contacts a domestic abuse service, her GP, citizens advice and speaks to her work. She could even log this with the police as a domestic abuse incident- the moving of her belongings, a stern word by the police might make her ex think twice. This needs reporting as her teens are also suffering and may need support.

How absolutely awful. For you, you just need to be there for her. Help her out a lock on her bedroom door, maybe she could get a ring camera set up so she is alerted if they go in her room. She is entitled to half of her house and can’t afford to back down on this.

I'm sure it would cause friction but so what? They are destroying her possessions and bullying her, what's a bit of friction going to do???

Your friend can get free legal advice from Law Works https://www.lawworks.org.uk/

She can search for her nearest clinic and either try and book and appointment or just turn up. They are lawyers that volunteer pro bono and support divorce and relationship breakdown. I used one of their partners (PopLaw in East London) for a work dispute and they were amazing, so helpful and supportive, and my work backed off. Please get her to go to her nearest drop in and get advice asap.

Her ex husband sounds like a piece of shit, pushing the mother of his children into the box room (why didnt he take it?) then putting her stuff in a damp storage, making the kids feel uncomfortable with his new girlfriend who he could go and live with (why is she always at his house?). When your friend gets legal advice she needs to find out if he had a pension. He is just being greedy and selfish, they could have £100K each and he could easily use that money to rent. Parasite.

I wonder if the husband has told his gf that it's his house and he's just waiting it out until his XW leaves? It's the only way I can make sense of her moving in with him into a disputed property.

Your friend really does need a solicitor. It's the only way she's going to get what's due to her (and she can go after half his pension too, he might be trying to distract attention from that possibility).

It’s abuse so the police would absolutely talk to this woman, her husband and the girlfriend about this. Reporting to the police will also flag the situation with the kids school so they are aware of the situation at home as it could be affecting their learning as well as emotional health. Also they may refer to domestic abuse services and it helps keep a record of what is going on.

Gf has some balls eh. I could not imagine being that person 😮

I would suggest she speak to a domestic abuse service too. She can ask about legal aid - I think if there is abuse there might be extra support.

What a prick. Why isn’t he putting his children first? I am so fucking fed up with selfish, self centred men!!

he is saying he won’t afford to buy anywhere else and he’s nearing retirement age.

So what? That is almost irrelevant. Divorce leaves people poorer. Get over it. Plenty of retired people aren't owner-occupiers.

I hope she sees solictor soon. The house needs selling & assets divided.

She needs a solicitor.
It doesn't matter what her husband says. she doesn't need his agreement or permission to get legal help

What she needs right away is a solicitor's letter telling them to stop removing her belongings from the house.

Can’t she put the girlfriend’s stuff in the shed also? Police won’t even get involved with that they’ll says it’s a domestic issue. Failing that take a few days off work and swap bedrooms with them and put a lock on her new door. Let fuck wit husband and his tart have the box room.

I'd bet my own house that he's never put his kids first in his entire life and thinks he owns them and they owe him because he was the breadwinner.

That would be the idea, why should she be the only one finding things difficult and she should also say she and her boyfriend need the main bedroom half of the time since the house is half hers too. Both new partners can move in or neither.

Oh fuck this. N208 form I think it is. Order to sell. I did myself with no legal help, as once you've separated and nobody can afford to buy anyone out, it's pretty much the only solution. And yeah apply for an Occupation Order too. Again, no need to pay solicitors. Sorry, court bollocks, but it might make her feel better that something is happening.

She needs to stay in the house and see a solicitor and find out about selling the house, if she moves out i think she has less rights and also the kids are there,.the house needs to be sold,.why is it taking so long hes probably dragging his feet

Yes good idea regarding the lock

Removing someone’s personal belongings is theft, tell her to go to a police station and get help for domestic violence , what he is doing is abusing her mentally . Get him removed from the house and apply for a non molestation order

This is a seriously twisted situation. Basically the husband is trying to force your friend out of the marital home, so he can keep all the assets. Sounds like emotional, psychological and financial abuse.
Could she contact somewhere like woman's aid for advice and support?
Could she also contact CA for advice and to see if she is eligible for legal aid?
Could she apply for an occupation order in order to force the husband to leave, along with his girlfriend due to the way they are behaving (intimation?) towards her and the damage they are causing to her goods and the children. I'd be concerned that she'll come home one day to find he's changed the locks. This is where she calls the police!
Potentially she can force the house sale through the courts. But this is obviously a possibility longer term issue.
She can also file for divorce irrespective of what he says.
Does she know whether it is the other woman or her husband who is moving her things?
She possibly needs to get a lock on her bedroom door, so that she can keep things safe and not have to come home to her things being removed from the house.
She should go into the children's school and inform their form tutors and possibly DSL about the situation at home. They need to know what a weird set up there is in the home and the behaviour that their father is displaying.
She also needs to keep private notes of his/GFs actions and perhaps ensure things like passports, personal paperwork, precious photos/momentos are kept with you to ensure they are not 'accidentally' lost, damaged or hidden. Also have an emergency grab bag with you, as doesn't sound as though it would be safe to leave one at home.
Would their behaviour constitute harassment/intimidation? Or coercion,? Possibly worth reporting to the police. At least they then have a record of the behaviour.

How does your friend expect anything to happen if she doesnt have a solicitor! She needs to get one and get the house sold as he wont do it, her and her husband sound as bad as each other, she pays the solicitor from the house sale,.and now you want to rescue her id leave them to it

If she leaves she’ll never get them out. She needs to chuck a bit of money at this, get an occupation order, and then finalise the financial agreement for the divorce.

Personally I think if the kids are with your friend more she should get a bigger split of the equity. If her ex can’t afford somewhere he wants, tough, he’ll have to either get a retirement place, or earn a bit of money and rent. But she needs legal advice sharpish.

This is absolutely nuts and your friend needs to toughen up and stop being so passive.
get a lawyer asap.they are married and she has legal rights.