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Original poster

Friend (more like sister) arrested

215 replies

notamumyetbutoneday · 30/09/2026 18:32

I am in shock so excuse the muddled thoughts
i knew something was wrong as I hadn’t heard from my friend today. We text every day. I last heard from her at 5 o clock yesterday. No messages were delivering to her phone and her facebook account had gone. I messaged her pet sitter who said my friend had called her last night and asked her to had the pets unexpectedly.

at 3pm she rang to say she had been arrested at home last night and taken to a police station where she spent the night in custody

it’s insane it’s like a bad dream she wouldn’t do anything wrong she is a professional woman with an upstanding job

i was in shock I couldn’t speak her solicitor was driving her home

she was crying and couldn’t/wouldnt tell me what it was

shes with another friend now who lives closer who said she’s asleep

what on earth has happened I don’t understand why she would be arrested at home??

posting under an old username

OP posts:
MsMacheath · 19/10/2026 22:25

notamumyetbutoneday · 19/10/2026 13:11

I completely agree. I am struggling to understand how this happened.

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Oh come off it. Your friend claims she picked up drinks and put them down and forgot them but the venue staff should monitor her drinking?

It's dead easy to remember - if you had alcohol at a party, you don't drive home from it.

MsMacheath · 19/10/2026 22:32

Ohhelpwhatnow · 19/10/2026 22:11

I think if your friend was drunk in a pub, the landlord would be entitled and perhaps even obliged to take her car keys off her. At a venue for a launch or similar, that probably isn't the staff's role, and they have a protocol of calling the police.
Hopefully you are right in believing that she doesn't make a habit of it, but sipping multiple glasses of wine over several hours is a very irresponsible way to behave when driving, and it's unlikely to be the first time. Lets hope she learns from this and deals with the issue.

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I think if your friend was drunk in a pub, the landlord would be entitled and perhaps even obliged to take her car keys off her

All a licence holder can do is suggest someone should not drive and refuse to serve them more alcohol. They have no right to demand car keys. If the landlord is concerned they can alert the police but they can't stop someone driving away.

HollaHolla · 19/10/2026 22:32

notamumyetbutoneday · 19/10/2026 12:39

It was a one-off event, think similar to a product launch or exhibition type thing where people are handing round glasses of fizz. She is saying she took some but didnt finish them all ie would get talking to someone, put a glass down and forget it, pick up a new one later. It was an event that lasted 3-4 hours.

Yes apparently it has to go a lab where they count back as you say to establish whether she would have been over the limit at the time of driving. Apparently this can take weeks if not months. She has not been suspended from work which i was surprised by.

Why would she be suspended from work? Does it require driving?

I would say that I have no time for anyone who drink drives. I lost a cousin at 20, to a drink driver. The supposed designated driver was off downing shots without any of them noticing, and 4 (my cousin, 2 others, and the driver) of them were killed on their way home.

Waitingfordoggo · 19/10/2026 22:34

VickyEadie · 19/10/2026 15:40

I have this opinion - I posted it less than an hour ago.

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I have this opinion too.

Lougle · 19/10/2026 22:43

Waitingfordoggo · 19/10/2026 22:34

I have this opinion too.

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Me too. I don't drink generally anyway, but on the rare occasion that I did, I would only do so if I had a driver lined up. I'm normally designated driver so that DH can have a pint of beer if we go out.

You'd never know if you could have stopped if you hadn't had a drop. That's enough for me.

ACR7 · 19/10/2026 22:54

Under what power did they breathalyse her in her home 3 hours after she’d been driving? I think she’s telling you fibs…or she’s been in an accident

Macinae · 19/10/2026 22:56

My friends dad was killed by a drunk driver, so I have no tolerance for people driving under the influence. I hope you're ok OP, I can imagine it was a shock to find this out about such a close friend. I have no experience in the legal processes surrounding this, so I won't profess to have any insight into what may happen with your friends case. If nothing else I do hope it gives her a wake up call if she was indeed over the limit before driving home.

MsMacheath · 19/10/2026 23:12

Ally886 · 19/10/2026 15:37

I know zero people who have this opinion. There's a law in place to displace opinion with fact. You can have a bit. I've never felt impacted by a pint. I'd never have a second and drive.

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I think I probably know zero people who drink anything if they will be driving. The limit is lower in Scotland but even before it was reduced I never took anything if I were driving. Husband is the same and our friends.

RaggedRocks · 19/10/2026 23:12

PS. If you know where he is, there is a 7.5k reward.

BlazenWeights · 19/10/2026 23:22

So if your friend is found guilty, you plan on ditching her or abandoning her. You’re really a friend indeed. You do know you can support your friend without condoning their crimes right. Such fickle friendship.

ByTidyOtter · 19/10/2026 23:30

Ally886 · 19/10/2026 15:37

I know zero people who have this opinion. There's a law in place to displace opinion with fact. You can have a bit. I've never felt impacted by a pint. I'd never have a second and drive.

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I have this opinion. Zero tolerance for any alcohol before driving.

Calliopespa · 19/10/2026 23:38

Of course none of us like the idea of drunk driving but, OP, I think this thread has become a bit self-indulgent now. You know what is up and I'm not sure you are being the greatest of friends by broadcasting your doubt in her defence online.

Do you really need to be doing this? What if you are wrong?

HollaHolla · 19/10/2026 23:43

MsMacheath · 19/10/2026 23:12

I think I probably know zero people who drink anything if they will be driving. The limit is lower in Scotland but even before it was reduced I never took anything if I were driving. Husband is the same and our friends.

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Yup; I'm very glad that the limit has been further reduced in Scotland. I have done many foolish things in my 50 years, but I can, hand on heart say, drink driving has never been one. Studies show we can be affected after just one drink, so why take the chance? Are you really making the choice to have less than one drink, so you can drive? I always say that, if I am drinking, I would want 3 or 4, so staying on the soft drinks is better!

LivelyGreyShark · 20/10/2026 00:01

I dont think anyone would argue with don't drink and drive - but it sounds like this woman wasn't pulled over whilst actually driving, has not actually been charged so far and not found guilty, it could just be that she picked up a couple of glasses of wine, but put them down without finishing them and an over zealous staff member called the police - I make at least two cups of tea a day that i start and never finish because i get distracted, then again maybe she was drinking and drove but sounds like its just an investigation at this stage so maybe wait to see the outcome.

Awkwardisfunny · 20/10/2026 00:06

Youlostyourlemons · 19/10/2026 12:14

The police called to her house 3 hours after she got home? And breathoed her at the door? Is this a thing in England or wherever you are? I just cannot fathom this. What if she did not answer the door?

Yeah I have never heard of this and I live in the UK. Maybe the friend is just saying this as a cover for having actually been drunk driving.

MsDitsy · 20/10/2026 00:29

Is she 100% sure it was the venue and not a colleague with a grudge? I don't mean in that if she was drunk she didn't unequivocally deserved to get arrested because DUI, oh my God, but if she really wasn't, then is she the sort to have enemies?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 20/10/2026 02:46

Your friend of 30 years allegedly drove after drinking too much alcohol arrived home and three hours later police arrived, took her into custody and gave s breath test.
Your friend claims she was not over the limit, drank after arriving home and has legal representation.

You are considering dropping the friend?
It's really none of your business to be so judgmental.
It could be a misunderstanding.
She could have made a bad call and driven home impaired.
She could have consumed alcohol at home.
🤷‍♀️

theearthsayshello · 20/10/2026 03:17

zoeslim · 19/10/2026 11:50

We do if you are woke and left wing
Otherwise you are correct

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Yep. 100% correct.

theearthsayshello · 20/10/2026 03:19

notamumyetbutoneday · 19/10/2026 13:17

Not their fault!! No one is saying that. it seems odd to call police after allowing her to drive away rather than seeking to prevent a possible crime.

As i said in my update, I am struggling to support her precisely because I can’t understand why she would have more than 1 glass if planning on driving.

Lol. And this is why nobody should ever say "she's like family".

She's not family. Clearly. Nobody in my family has ever done this, but if they had I wouldn't ditch them for it. But of course you can drop a friend for any reason, or none.

tamade · 20/10/2026 04:14

LeedsLoiner · 19/10/2026 16:11

"Freedom of Speech" does not equal "Freedom from Consequences".

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That's not freedom though is it?

You are "free" to say what you want, but beware you might get hammered for it; have your door kicked in, get a criminal record, lose your income etc etc.

Oooh it's nice having so much freedom I feel so silly self-censoring.

Obviously apologies to OP for the OT but this was to egregious to ignore.

RedTagAlan · 20/10/2026 04:32

tamade · 20/10/2026 04:14

That's not freedom though is it?

You are "free" to say what you want, but beware you might get hammered for it; have your door kicked in, get a criminal record, lose your income etc etc.

Oooh it's nice having so much freedom I feel so silly self-censoring.

Obviously apologies to OP for the OT but this was to egregious to ignore.

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Quote " Oooh it's nice having so much freedom I feel so silly self-censoring."

People self censor all the time. " Does my bum look big in this?". Option 1- yes it looks massive. Option B - no it looks good.

Zanatdy · 20/10/2026 04:49

I can’t imagine dropping one of my life long friends for this. I may disapprove; but i’d be supportive, because they are my life long friends and we are there through thick and thin. Even if one was arrested for murder, i’d probably still go and visit them.

These are 3 friends i’ve had for 40yrs plus, and it would take something worse than this for me to withdraw my support for them. So I can see why your friend is upset, as you don’t even know if what she is saying is true or not, just assuming her guilt. She may well have just taken lots and had sips from them all. If staff were so concerned, feels odd they just let her drive off and call police later.

Even if guilty, i’d still support my friends. Of course not condoning drink driving at all, and it was stupid to take so many drinks.

boxofshite · 20/10/2026 05:10

How did the staff know she was going to drive home?

Mumtotornadoes · 20/10/2026 05:15

Surely you know her well enough to know if this is normal for her. It's one of those things that if you socialise with someone you know whether or not they would be inclined to drink and drive. No one has a secret life as a drink driver. I get those you can be like "I never knew he was a paedophile/abuser/rapist" because those are crimes that happen behind closed doors in secret. You've known her a long long time. Presumably have drank with her alot in that time. Has she ever drove after drinking? Does she drink at home?

She probably won't be prosecuted unless there's evidence that she was drinking alot or was very drunk before getting in the car. Like CCTV or multiple testimony they just can't prove she didn't drink at home.