Friend (more like sister) arrested

[notamumyetbutoneday]

I am in shock so excuse the muddled thoughts
i knew something was wrong as I hadn’t heard from my friend today. We text every day. I last heard from her at 5 o clock yesterday. No messages were delivering to her phone and her facebook account had gone. I messaged her pet sitter who said my friend had called her last night and asked her to had the pets unexpectedly.

at 3pm she rang to say she had been arrested at home last night and taken to a police station where she spent the night in custody

it’s insane it’s like a bad dream she wouldn’t do anything wrong she is a professional woman with an upstanding job

i was in shock I couldn’t speak her solicitor was driving her home

she was crying and couldn’t/wouldnt tell me what it was

shes with another friend now who lives closer who said she’s asleep

what on earth has happened I don’t understand why she would be arrested at home??

posting under an old username

If she's done anything wrong, then she and her solicitor and her family need to sort it out. Second guessing on here won't help.

Is it definitely the venue that has grassed her up to the police? It seems very odd behaviour towards a customer. Isn't it more likely that another customer or friend has dobbed her in whether it was maliciously or not?

If the police didn't arrive until 3 hours after she arrived home then as long as she sticks to her story of drinking after she arrived home I don't see that there is any way she could be convicted

Most people I know do not but there is a law and it does allow a certain amount to be drunk.

I did once go to a venue and get teasted about drinking a lot I hadn't I rarely drink but I'd lost first glass of one acholic substance after few sips put down and was gone and been handed another different colour I didn't really want - took a sip to be polite but wasn't drinking - handed off to DH who was but later. But I do not think anyone actually thought I was drunk. Wasn't driving anyway.

It's more likely that for venue to ring police she was visibly drunk and not fit to drive - rather than someone assuming she was over limit.

Or she being targeted by someone for some other reason.

Apparently the toxicologists can use scientific absorption and elimination curves - based on time frames and weight/height info - to calculate exactly how much of the alcohol in your blood or breath came from the drinks at home versus the drinks you had before driving. It's a estimate - but if it's under she'll be fine.

Apparently the I had a drink after driving is the "hip flask defence" and it does shift bruden of proof onto the accused.

Yes absolutely when I'm in Scotland I don't touch a drop

Has your friend got a history of drink driving OP?

Have you had concerns over her drinking?

Does your friend know that you’re blasting this all over the internet?

Could she be telling the truth? 3 hours is quite a long time for the blood alcohol to have changed? Not an expect in this though!

Yes because drink driving is so very rare the friend will be easily identified despite no names or locations being given 🙄

Hm - I barely drink at all and wouldn't dream of drinking a drop if I expected to be driving, but I'm a bit baffled, OP, by how firmly you appear to assume that she must have been very visibly drunk. This kind of report could very easily be made in error or indeed maliciously.

And I find it hard to believe that any lab could reliably establish the timing of her drinking. Have they taken bloods; are they looking for metabolic products of alcohol? A breathalyzer test won't help here. And different people process alcohol at different speeds, so I really don't see how this could be done.

Again, yes drink driving is illegal for a reason, but the police taking three hours to get to her home and then dragging her off to a cell overnight seems preposterous to me, especially given the lack of attention given to a lot of serious crime.

If they thought she had been drink driving and was still over the limit three hours later she was taken to custody so she couldn't drive until she sobered up.

Again, yes drink driving is illegal for a reason, but the police taking three hours to get to her home and then dragging her off to a cell overnight seems preposterous to me, especially given the lack of attention given to a lot of serious crime.

Drink drivers kill themselves and other people. Police regard that as serious crime.

I don’t think it’s the venue’s fault for not stopping her - but if I believed someone to be impaired and about to drive, I’d be attempting to stop them for starters. They could have killed themselves and/or someone else!

I mean idk, perhaps they already tried to talk to her and she wouldn’t listen. But the police certainly took their time getting there.

Does your friend have a drink problem? Is this something she has been hiding from everyone and now it's out in the open? If she was my friend, I would support her to seek help, but I would be unable to sympathise with her getting behind the wheel after drinking.

I was a Police Officer for a few years, and DH is a Police Officer, and has been for 20+ years. She has told you an out and out lie. No way can Police visit your home and breathalise you hours after you got home!! She has been drink driving. Funnily enough this is exactly what my ex said happened when he was stopped and breathalised at the roadside (a story for our kids). Absolute Bullshit. How on earth would that stand up in court? She must think you came down in the last shower Op.

A disabled woman who lives near me was arrested and held in custody because she put a sticker on a lamp post saying ‘woman = adult female’. She was never charged ( the CPS presumably saw sense) but she was released into a very rough area at 4am in the morning - so yes the fb thing could be related.

She has told you an out and out lie. No way can Police visit your home and breathalise you hours after you got home!!

DrinkDriving.Org disagrees

Can a police officer require a breath test in my own home?
As long as a police officer is not trespassing on a suspects property then any breath test requirement they make will be lawful.

No mention of a cut off after which they can't ask for it. Hardly surprising given the consequences of drink driving.

They won't have done this, she has been caught red handed. Anything else is nonsense.

Your friend has been incredibly stupid, selfish and remiss. So risky.
If she really is like a sister to you, you'll support her through it and remain friends.
Very few people would cut off their actual sister over this incident, grim though it is.

How on earth do you know they didn't?

They could very well have said that to her and she ignored them.

What were they supposed to do? Steal her keys off her? Tie her to a chair? At which point they would have been the ones committing a crime, whereas, as several posters have pointed out, until she's actually driven off she hadn't.

I'd take a step back and not commit too much either way at this point OP. It's possible she did only have one or two sips out of a few different flutes, amounting to the equivalent of one/two glasses over 3 hours, and was under the limit when she left, but someone assumed she was drunk, or for whatever reason dislikes her and saw an opportunity to get her in trouble, or thinks that nobody should be driving after any alcohol or whatever. I think it's very unlikely but you don't know. Even if you are disgusted by the dd, and the lack of remorse, you can still sympathise if she had an upsetting experience at the station.

I only know one person who would agree with you that it’s ok to ‘have a bit’.
The limit is not zero because fermentation in the gut can produce alcohol, even if the person has not been drinking—therefore expecting someone to have zero alcohol in their bloodstream is not possible. It’s not a green light to have a drink and get behind the wheel. The only safe amount to consume before driving is none.

She has more than likely lied to you, OP. Of course she is ashamed and embarrassed and I'm sure when the whole truth comes out she has also been hiding an alcohol problem.....And while of course you can't condone the dangerous driving I hope you'll be there to support your friend/sister in the coming weeks.
There was a recent news story about a husband who reported his wife for dd - she was an alcoholic and he was at his wits' end hence he did what he did in the hope shed get help.

How would they have known she was driving until someone actually saw her drive off?

It sounds like your friend, who you say is going through a rough time, most likely made a poor judgement call, driving after having too much to drink.

OR your friend made that story up to save face and this is about something else entirely. She wouldn't be the first upstanding citizen who got involved in something illegal.

I'm a true crime buff and remember a detective saying we all have three selves:

1. The public self- The side we show at work, in public and with acquaintances.

2. The private self- More sensitive or personal things that only those closer to us are likely to know. This is the level I see you being at with this friend.

3. The secret self- This is the deep, dark stuff nobody else knows, or practically nobody anyway. This is the side that, when revealed, stuns even the people who were close to the person. They had no idea... If she embezzled from her job or worse, this side would be revealed. (I just thought it was interesting to hear it explained this way).

Anyway, I'd wait and see, before deciding how this should impact your friendship. To me, a one time big-time screw up (like drunk driving) wouldn't make me cut off a friend but if it was more than that, I might reconsider continuing to associate with them.

Please keep us posted and good luck.

Someone who drives to a venue and then chooses to drink alcohol has made their own decision about their behaviour. I have no sympathy. I hope they throw the book at her.

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