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Original poster

Friend (more like sister) arrested

215 replies

notamumyetbutoneday · 30/09/2026 18:32

I am in shock so excuse the muddled thoughts
i knew something was wrong as I hadn’t heard from my friend today. We text every day. I last heard from her at 5 o clock yesterday. No messages were delivering to her phone and her facebook account had gone. I messaged her pet sitter who said my friend had called her last night and asked her to had the pets unexpectedly.

at 3pm she rang to say she had been arrested at home last night and taken to a police station where she spent the night in custody

it’s insane it’s like a bad dream she wouldn’t do anything wrong she is a professional woman with an upstanding job

i was in shock I couldn’t speak her solicitor was driving her home

she was crying and couldn’t/wouldnt tell me what it was

shes with another friend now who lives closer who said she’s asleep

what on earth has happened I don’t understand why she would be arrested at home??

posting under an old username

OP posts:
PinkyFlamingo · 19/10/2026 15:29

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/10/2026 13:15

Oh right, so now we have 'it's the venue's fault for not stopping her.'

What about her responsibility not to drive when she's had alcohol, even if it is one glass?

Exactly.

PinkyFlamingo · 19/10/2026 15:30

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/10/2026 15:08

I rather suspect your friend is playing the situation down. Even if she kept putting drinks down, getting fresh ones and not finishing them, it's still possible to have consumed enough alcohol to be drunk.

In that sort of situation it's very easy to lose track of how much you're drinking and how much it is affecting you; especially if you aren't eating either.

You shouldn't be drinking alcohol at all though if you are going to be driving.

mummabubs · 19/10/2026 15:31

Youlostyourlemons · 19/10/2026 13:03

Why did nobody in the venue stop her driving to begin with? Surely someone has to have said to her 'we think you are tipsy you shouldnt be driving' rather than wait till she was already gone to make the call?

My understanding is that even if they had called the police while she was there they wouldn't do anything as at that point in time no crime has been committed, so as frustrating as it looks and feels I can understand why calling the police wasn't an option until after she'd left and actively got into the car and started driving. As others have said it's not the venue's responsibility to ask her not to commit a crime before she has done, but it sounds like they did the right thing by then immediately contacting the police.

Bitsostuff · 19/10/2026 15:32

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/10/2026 10:47

So people are never arrested for what they post on line

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People are arrested for all sorts of things. Why would it be this and not something else.

B9waiting · 19/10/2026 15:36

WinWhenTheyreSinging · 19/10/2026 14:14

I am a rabid anti drink driver, but I find it hard to fathom how this could possibly be prosecutable when no one can say how much of the blood alcohol level was consumed before she drove, rather than after she got home.

I fully get that they can count back from a blood test, but it would surely be a waste of time and money taking it to court with a three hour gap where she could have necked a bottle of vodka?

I agree with this as I’m baffled as to how this could be prosecuted given the time delay?

Summeriscumin · 19/10/2026 15:36

She may well be telling the truth about putting her glass down and it disappearing. I've seen that happen often at functions.

I'm not sure the police have a case if she was drinking when she got home. Not surprising after a busy and stressful day.

Don't throw 30 years away.

Ally886 · 19/10/2026 15:37

PinkyFlamingo · 19/10/2026 15:30

You shouldn't be drinking alcohol at all though if you are going to be driving.

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I know zero people who have this opinion. There's a law in place to displace opinion with fact. You can have a bit. I've never felt impacted by a pint. I'd never have a second and drive.

VickyEadie · 19/10/2026 15:40

Ally886 · 19/10/2026 15:37

I know zero people who have this opinion. There's a law in place to displace opinion with fact. You can have a bit. I've never felt impacted by a pint. I'd never have a second and drive.

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I have this opinion - I posted it less than an hour ago.

FckThisShit · 19/10/2026 15:41

VickyEadie · 19/10/2026 15:40

I have this opinion - I posted it less than an hour ago.

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Me too..I don't drive if I've had any drink no matter how small.

CaptainMyCaptain · 19/10/2026 15:42

WildlyInappropriate · 30/09/2026 19:27

Don’t be ridiculous. The OP is distressed, please don’t derail her thread by posting your propaganda on it.

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Agreed.

CaptainMyCaptain · 19/10/2026 15:43

Parky04 · 30/09/2026 19:18

Probably for something she posted online. We don't have freedom of speech in the UK.

🙄

RedTagAlan · 19/10/2026 15:44

Ally886 · 19/10/2026 15:37

I know zero people who have this opinion. There's a law in place to displace opinion with fact. You can have a bit. I've never felt impacted by a pint. I'd never have a second and drive.

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I have that opinion. No drink at all till the car is parked up won't be moving till next day.

Anyahyacinth · 19/10/2026 15:48

WildlyInappropriate · 30/09/2026 19:27

Don’t be ridiculous. The OP is distressed, please don’t derail her thread by posting your propaganda on it.

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It’s not propaganda our Drs who care about genocide are repeatedly arrested …old folk are arrested for holding cardboard signs

DebbieSavage · 19/10/2026 15:49

This seems way too heavy handed to me, is your friend a person of colour by any chance? Would make a lot of sense that way.

CaptainMyCaptain · 19/10/2026 15:50

Ally886 · 19/10/2026 15:37

I know zero people who have this opinion. There's a law in place to displace opinion with fact. You can have a bit. I've never felt impacted by a pint. I'd never have a second and drive.

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I don't drink at all if I'm driving neither do most people I know.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/10/2026 15:51

Ally886 · 19/10/2026 15:37

I know zero people who have this opinion. There's a law in place to displace opinion with fact. You can have a bit. I've never felt impacted by a pint. I'd never have a second and drive.

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That you've never felt impacted by a pint doesn't mean a) that you're not and that b) other people are the same.

Katiesaidthat · 19/10/2026 15:51

RaggedRocks · 19/10/2026 13:23

Too damn right. One drink will impair driving ability. The limit is 35, and I believe that the police will prosecute at over 40. So 56 is well into driving ban territory. If she lies about having more drinks when she got in, that would be perjury.

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Why would this be perjury? Interested. Where I am it is only perjury if you appear as a witness and lie. I am entitled to lie to defend myself, I am not a witness.

ChasingRainbow5 · 19/10/2026 15:56

Ally886 · 19/10/2026 15:37

I know zero people who have this opinion. There's a law in place to displace opinion with fact. You can have a bit. I've never felt impacted by a pint. I'd never have a second and drive.

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In Scotland the limit is close to zero, and that's only because of things like medicines which have a tiny trace.

MrsMcGarry · 19/10/2026 15:57

Ally886 · 19/10/2026 15:37

I know zero people who have this opinion. There's a law in place to displace opinion with fact. You can have a bit. I've never felt impacted by a pint. I'd never have a second and drive.

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Hi - I have this opinion. It might be because my life was severely impacted by a drink driver who killed my mother and grandmother and tried to claim he'd had just one pint.

My dh and I went out at 6pm yesterday and had one pint each at an event. Then we walked home and remembered that the car needed moving before 8 to the next road because of parking restrictions - which was why I set an alarm for 7.45 and was shivering in my PJ's and a fleece when walking home.

SilverPink · 19/10/2026 15:57

FckThisShit · 19/10/2026 15:41

Me too..I don't drive if I've had any drink no matter how small.

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Me neither. I can have a pint of lager shandy and feel tipsy.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/10/2026 15:59

Katiesaidthat · 19/10/2026 15:51

Why would this be perjury? Interested. Where I am it is only perjury if you appear as a witness and lie. I am entitled to lie to defend myself, I am not a witness.

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Lying to the police is going to look stupid if the toxicology tests come back showing you were over the limit at the time you were driving. The best you can do is force the prosecution to prove their case and when accused remain silent. But lying to the police is generally not a good idea.

Yerroblemom1923 · 19/10/2026 16:00

I wonder if there's a lot more to this story than the OP has been told by her friend.... usually the only people who get behind the wheel after a drink are those with a problem with alcohol

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/10/2026 16:07

Yerroblemom1923 · 19/10/2026 16:00

I wonder if there's a lot more to this story than the OP has been told by her friend.... usually the only people who get behind the wheel after a drink are those with a problem with alcohol

Nope. Idiots, people who think they won't get caught, people who have been caught and just won't learn, people for who it was 'just five minutes down the road,' people who couldn't be bothered to call a taxi, people who just don't care...all sorts of people drink and drive.

Mapletree1985 · 19/10/2026 16:09

notamumyetbutoneday · 19/10/2026 11:47

Thank you for those who have commented. It has been a real shock, but my friend was arrested for an offence under the Road Traffic Offences Act. Not drink-driving in the sense that she wasn't stopped whilst driving. She had been at a venue and it seems they have reported her to police who then visited her at home and breathalysed her. She blew over (56) but she is arguing that this is because she drank once home - there were 3 hours between her arriving home, and police arriving.

I am struggling to support her as in my view, the venue were obviously sufficiently concerned to report her to police, I can't imagine that this is something they do lightly. Friend is obviously struggling mentally and emotiaonally, but (insofaras I can tell) in a sort of "feel sorry for me" way. She did have an absolutely awful time whilst being held in custody which has obviously been quite traumatic. She is making a point of telling me how supportive "everyone" has been (the implication being except me). i do understand it is is innocent until proven guilty but I just can't shake the feeling that if she was planning on driving she shouldn't have had anything to drink or at least just 1 glass, and that for the venue to report it, they must have been concerned.

Really struggling with this as its a 30-year friendship but I could never condone drink-driving.

Supporting your friend doesn't mean you have to approve of their actions, and shouldn't be interpreted as such. You can still be a shoulder to lean on while disapproving of drunk driving. We all make mistakes, and this was a big one. Don't abandon her.

LeedsLoiner · 19/10/2026 16:11

Dollymylove · 30/09/2026 19:35

Eh? Dont you read the news? People ARE being arrested for wrong speak and labour have announced publicly that they will be prosecutions

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"Freedom of Speech" does not equal "Freedom from Consequences".