ADHD and procrastination

[Longleaf]

I've obviously clicked on too many articles because my FB feed is full of short posts about all the ways ADHD manifests in middle aged women.

I've never for a minute thought any label might apply for me, but some of these really resonate.

Quiet, high achieving child, always looking for approval - continuing into adult life.

Puts everything off, can spend all day doing nothing, then writes essays at the last minute as a word dump but still gets good results. Yes, and still the case for every report I've ever written in a long and fairly successful career.

Spends all day waiting for an appointment/meeting late in the day. I'm full of good intentions for what I'll do with all the time beforehand but don't/can't apply myself to them.

Makes endless well intentions lists about what to do with a day, but unless there's a hard deadline won't follow them through.

I seem to bumble through life, wasting loads of time, but never missing a deadline and somehow impressing people with what I do turn out (quantity and quality).

It's only recently I've realised that this might not be 'just human nature'.

Or is it? Do most people carry on like this or might ADHD be a thing for me? If so, is it worth being diagnosed at 56?

Well....I had a Teams meeting for work this morning and some follow up for that, which had a deadline, so is done. Then I'm free until I have to collect my mum from the hospital at 4pm...so the waiting thing is coming into play.

There are loads of things in the house and garden that I could be doing, that I'd like to get done, that I'd feel good about finishing, but they don't need doing now.

How would a diagnosis help you? All of the above would apply to me, spent my life doing things at the last minute and being unable to focus on one thing at a time. Must admit I have just thought it’s the way I am, it never occurred to me until recently that I might fall into one of these categories.

I’ve learned various strategies for coping with things, writing lists, setting early deadlines so I’m not late, rewarding myself for achieving things etc. If you’ve got to your 50s with this, you’ve probably also learned ways to deal with it. How would a diagnosis help?

I think I’m just human - we are all different in rich and wonderful ways and while I might be bad at getting on with stuff, I’m a creative problem solver and quick to learn things.

The diagnosis will mean you can be medicated. It’s helped many people in later life getting a diagnosis as it’s then allowed them to be medicated.

if you’re not interested in the meds then there’s probably no point in getting a diagnosis

It seems I must be very efficient because I spend a lot of time doing nothing, but still seem to be highly thought of. In multiple jobs over the years I've had excellent appraisals regarding both quality and workrate.

Unless everyone spends a lot of time doing nothing at work, because I've often wondered what busy busy people are doing all day.

Currently I am semi-retired and doing some casual work, which I organise meticulously, and then leave everything to the last minute. It always gets done and done well, but never in the nice relaxed way I plan.

How does medication help?

Yes, exactly. That's what I'm asking.

It allows you to be more productive with your day, get things done, be more focused etc

I am like this OP. I have a dyspraxia diagnosis but I think it is more likely I have ADHD and Autistic. I am thinking of a diagnosis I don't want to go into my difficulties but I have a massively spikey profile highly exceptional in many areas with woeful deficits in others. I am not sure if I'd benefit from ADHD medication as I have severe chronic migraine as well and I stimulants tend to worsen my migraines and many other meds would conflict with my migraine medication. I haven't worked in 15 years and been on health related unemployment benefits for that time but I don't actually get any money as my husband earns just over the limit.

I'd like to get back into work but probably would need to work for myself from home and I'd need support. I am considered applying for PIP as well and perhaps pursue a diagnosis for Autism or AuDHD in the mean time?

I am sure this plan will annoy a lot of people but I've gone so long now without any support at all.

It does for a while. But becomes less efficacious over time. I am on it and currently on MN instead of finishing some work, which - just like you - I will definitelly complete on time for the deadline. At first, medication was brilliant and to be fair, I do notice the difference between days I take it and days off. But if I tot up the hours, I've probably spent months if not years on MN and binge-watching trashy TV when I could be making my house and garden beautiful, getting fitter, doing crafts and hobbies, developing a skill.

I'm very good at doing big, one-off things: organising a party, climbing a mountain, delivering a very challenging short-term project. But I am rubbish at day to day routine.

I have adult children. Their things were organised through unbendable routines when they were young, and again whilst I rarely dropped a ball it was always very last minute.

It is never too late to get an ADHD diagnosis - same with any other significant diagnosis. Thinking that it not worth getting a diagnosis above a certain age because “you have managed up til now”‘ sounds logical but is actually showing fundamental misunderstandings
of ADHD. The reason I say this is because (1) you can only get a diagnosis if you can demonstrate that you have had clinically significant difficulties all your life and (2) intelligent women in particular are
usually absolute masters at hiding their difficulties, even from themselves and (3) ADHD is comorbid with many other serious problems and the longer you remain undiagnosed, the more likely they are to occur or become serious eg diabetes, domestic abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction,
POTs, ME/CFS, depression etc.

I was diagnosed in my late 50s. The report I got describing my difficulties in depth was incredibly helpful. I had a reasonable understanding of my difficulties but the psychiatrist who diagnosed me uncovered many more. The medication has been life-changing (and you can’t have it without a formal diagnosis.) Women with ADHD often get a lot worse around the menopause because oestrogen impacts ondopamine activity in the brain (people with ADHD have differences in dopamine signalling).

OP - take the ASRS screener. If that comes up as ‘possible ADHD’ then I would get an assessment arranged. Incidentally, the first stage (in both private and NHS) is to answer a whole batch of questionnaires. If it looks like they can’t diagnose you , then you won’t be put forward for the full assessment which takes 2 or 3 hours.

ASRS:

https://adhduk.co.uk/adult-adhd-screening-survey/

Just me and one adult DC at home still. Why?

Do you work from home?

It is just you and how you respond to a deadline. Some people have always ‘crammed’. Some people potter and work steadily.

If there is a spectrum, I guess we are all on it somewhere or another.

Hmm. I'd say it's highly likely he's autistic (again no diagnosis) and whilst he's no bother and does his bit around the house barely registers I exist most of the time.

What would you expect him to 'think'?

Oh, I scored 4 & 6.

His teachers were never concerned and I put a lot of store in their expertise, plus the traits became much more pronounced after puberty and particularly after a trauma in his late teens. Since then I have really tried to get him psychological help, but he's an adult and won't engage, no professional will see him on that basis.

Probably also, I was too busy keeping all the balls in their air and dropped one. He was a "good" but quiet child who didn't engage socially, no one felt the need to seek a diagnosis. And maybe it's not autism at all, but my point was as far as any issues I might have go, it's highly unlikely he'd have an opinion.

Yes, I'm aware now but at the time took the advice of the professionals.