ADHD and procrastination

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I've obviously clicked on too many articles because my FB feed is full of short posts about all the ways ADHD manifests in middle aged women.

I've never for a minute thought any label might apply for me, but some of these really resonate.

Quiet, high achieving child, always looking for approval - continuing into adult life.

Puts everything off, can spend all day doing nothing, then writes essays at the last minute as a word dump but still gets good results. Yes, and still the case for every report I've ever written in a long and fairly successful career.

Spends all day waiting for an appointment/meeting late in the day. I'm full of good intentions for what I'll do with all the time beforehand but don't/can't apply myself to them.

Makes endless well intentions lists about what to do with a day, but unless there's a hard deadline won't follow them through.

I seem to bumble through life, wasting loads of time, but never missing a deadline and somehow impressing people with what I do turn out (quantity and quality).

It's only recently I've realised that this might not be 'just human nature'.

Or is it? Do most people carry on like this or might ADHD be a thing for me? If so, is it worth being diagnosed at 56?

I think we are at risk of pathologising personality traits, and that’s not helpful to anyone.

You say you’re sat around waiting when other things could be done. Do you want to do the other things but can’t physically make yourself? Do you think worse of yourself or talk down to yourself for not doing them when you had the chance? You ask what medication would do, do you have an issue that needs solving?

A lot of your description could describe me, but I’m in a high paying role where I am successful and I contribute to a successful household too. I identify with a lot of the ADHD/autism videos too, but I’m happy and coping in society so even if do happen to be neurodiverse, I actually think getting a diagnosis would undermine the actual struggles ND people have (and don’t think I’d necessarily get a diagnosis, but my obviously ND sister insists I would, and at least one of my parents is probably ND).

Some times I struggle with executive disfunction but I have a whole load of coping mechanisms (including keeping busy, creating deadlines, seeking out high pressure working environments) that mean I put myself in scenarios where I can operate at my best, and it sounds like you’ve done the same. Do you need to change this now? Has it become unsustainable?

All of these questions are the things I would be thinking about before seeking a diagnosis for anything.

I have also been successful in a career and very much recognise the use of coping strategies, but when menopause hit at the same time as a significant bereavement, I think I simply burnt out from the sheer effort required in employing them for so long and so constantly. So for a really long time, I was 'fine" and coped. Now, not so much.

It will make a big difference. See my long
post near the beginning of the thread. (I’m a similar age to you).

Getting a diagnosis does not undermine or impact
on anyone else’s diagnosis.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder. The skill of the diagnostician is to evaluate whether the personality traits are just that or whether they are clinically significant and likely to be the result of ADHD.

Having good coping mechanisms and a successful career is possible with ADHD. In fact the existence of coping mechanisms are potentially a sign of ADHD masking. There is absolutely nothing wrong with ADHD if you are in the right environment. Eg I am pretty sure DB has it. Howrever, he is doing well because he has an ADHD-friendly job (programming), has a wife who adores him, a good kid, good friends and he lives in a busy city but with good access to nature. I also have ADHD but had a much less suitable job, lived with domestic abuse, my tenants trashed my flat and didn’t pay the rent, several friend dumped me and i went through the menopause. My ADHD seriously hampered me and was probably part of the reason why I developed ME/CFS and am now too ill to work.

A diagnosis is not about ‘an issue that needs solving’: it identifies and provides an explanation for lifelong difficulties (and therefore helps to identify helpful therapies or accommodations). It also puts you in a far better position in the future if difficulties ever
arise.

My diagnosis report was incredibly eye-opening. The psychiatrist identified issues I had not noticed (and is still doing so 18 months after diagnosis) and explained everything in tremendous depth.

Obviously it is a personal choice to not get a diagnosis and if you personally don’t see the need, then that is fine. However, in general I would encourage most people to get a diagnosis if for no other reason that ADHD is comorbid with a number of serious problems - T2 diabetes, ME/CFS, alcoholism, drug abuse, domestic abuse, hypermobility syndromes etc Knowing you have ADHD can help you avoid all of this.

I think the not coping is the crucial bit and it is important to find out why this is happening (and I hadn’t really picked that up from your earlier posts, apologies).

I think my point was that you see enough posts on here about “half the class is ND, so is it diverse at all”, and that attitude won’t be helped if people are going “well Dizzy’s brother has it too, why can’t Dizzy pull herself together like he has” or “Sleepless’ sister why do you struggle with your finances and to hold down a job when your sister with the same diagnosis is getting promotion after promotion and earning 6 figures”, “or they have coping mechanisms why can’t you just do that”.

I agree it’s a personal choice, and I’m not sure a diagnosis would help me with the co morbidities (I do things not to get T2 diabetes anyway, I don’t drink, haven’t ever touched drugs - although my sister does to cope with her ADHD). Of course I very well may not get a diagnosis and I’m using me and your brother as examples of siblings of diagnosed people who think their siblings have the same.

I don’t think anything less of people who do get diagnosis, and agree it’s a personal choice - but personally while I’m happily coping, no matter how many videos I identify with, or what my sister says or what I score on questionnaires I wouldn’t take it further.

Again with a hefty caveat that I am not saying I’m anything but a neurotypical who relates to the OP, and I’m very much not minimising the struggles ND people face that I do not identify with.

ADHD is like most other diagnoses in that some people need more treatment and support than others. Nobody would say that someone getting a diagnosis and treatment for mild depression impacts on somebody with a diagnosis of severe depression.

I know people are saying that too many people are being diagnosed - it may feel that way but it doesn’t seem to be the case
in the main. The government has commissioned an independent review of this and their interim report says:

“The available evidence suggests a more complex position than either simple over- or underdiagnosis. Even allowing for uncertainty in population prevalence, recorded administrative prevalence remains below epidemiological estimates, although the gap appears to be narrowing, particularly among females and young adults.”

www.gov.uk/government/publications/independent-review-into-mental-health-conditions-adhd-and-autism-interim-report/independent-review-into-mental-health-conditions-adhd-and-autism-interim-report#conclusion-1

I think the key is that the coping strategies, and taking acrion to avoid co morbidities are "easy" when life is gennerally going well, but are likely to lead to severe overwhelm when facing a more challenging period in life.

Diagnosis involves not just being able to demonstrate evidence of inattentiveness and/or hyperactivity BUT ALSO demonstrate impairment caused by this.

So if you're a bit inattentive or impulsive but it doesn't have significant impact on your life, then you shouldn't meet the diagnostic threshold.

If people's lives are being significantly impacted by something then I don't see the harm in giving that thing a name that can help them with understanding and support. Certainly, for myself it has been a key to unlocking a lot of insight into how my mind works and identifying strategies and support that help me. You can argue about whether we are classifying all this in the right way (there's similar arguments with Autism, I know) but suggesting we shouldn't be classifying it at all when I think the vast majority of people who have received a diagnosis feel it is useful, life-changing in many cases - that doesn't seem right.

Yes I think that was the thing for me, I was getting by until the point I wasn't. And with the benefit of hindsight, the burden of "getting by" was really significant.

I think we’re making the same point!

I didn’t read that the OP was struggling in the first posts - I got more of “I procrastinate and work best under pressure” vibe which doesn’t equal needing help or having ADHD. She’s clarified further which changes my view for her (not overall).

It does not necessarily comes under the diagnosis and it could be said that this usually happens.
Previously I myself was able to complete tasks before time but now after being occupied with a lot of tasks, performing tasks at the end time happens just before the last minute.

You sound just like me. I have so much to do before the end of the day, yet here I am.

I did the questionnaire up post, surely everyone finds it hard to concentrate on boring work? And to finish fine details when the important stuff is done? I do not struggle to sit still or talk too much, I am quiet and fidgety though. I'm also ASD.

If you think it might help you do try for a diagnosis. I've considered taking ds's meds to see if they make a difference to me but I can't see it being enough to cope with the side effects.

I don't actually find it difficult to do boring work. I can get quite absorbed in boring and repetitive, it's starting it I have trouble with.

I think perhaps the limitation of this approach is that for me, it would have been helpful to have known at the point I was generally coping because it would have helped me avoid getting to the point that I wasn't coping. Technically I guess I didn't "have ADHD" (as in, would not have met the diagnostic threshold) when I was younger because I was doing well at school, but I still had the same brain.