Share your story about the worst house guests - need a giggle!!

[amusedpyjamas]

We have had family staying for 5 days. It’s lovely to see them, very grateful for them etc but omg I can’t wait to have the house to ourselves again tomorrow.

What are weirdest/most deranged/worst stories about guests that have stayed in your house?? Or maybe it’s the hosts who have been totally unhinged?

One of our current guests is generally just a bit messy, but the thing I don’t understand is that every time he goes to the bathroom he turns the loo roll round in the holder and puts in back the other way round. In our house we’re always “over” with the loo roll but he turns it to “under”. Every single time, even when I think did he even use the loo roll, he was just cleaning his teeth. I thought well maybe that’s just a thing for him and that’s how they have it at home but nooooooo they have theirs “over” at home. I know it’s such a small thing but I’m just so confused!! Hardly the worst crime, I know - there must be some good ones out there though!

Please make me laugh this morning!

My husband asked if a family member could stay for a few weeks. They stayed a LOT longer than that.

It’s not a particularly entertaining story, but should serve as a warning to get start and end dates fixed BEFORE you let anyone stay.

I rarely ever have house guests and after this weekend, I remember why!

Guest turned up Friday as planned, with their small dog.
They attended their event, said they would be back at 11.30, they arrived back at 2.30am.

Got up yesterday to find they have blocked the only toilet in the house.

Went downstairs to find dog poo on my sofas and floor, not big poos but small smears, they pretended not to notice!

They were due to leave after brunch but didn't leave til 6pm...

One guest let out our 200 chickens. That was fun, getting them all back in, from the farmer's fields and the village gardens.

Oh noooooooooo @MummyOreI would be crying!!!!! The guest I’m talking about is a bit messy, but nothing on that level! Are you ok, did the marks come out of the sofa and floor?

In laws. They hate the fact that I’m vegan and that have a separate fridge for non vegan foods for my partner, one of our children and our dogs. Every time they have stayed they make horrible comments about being vegan and they buy non vegan food and put it in the vegan fridge despite being politely asked not to. Last time they came, they bought what my partner said must have been £80 worth of steaks and put them in the vegan fridge. It’s purposely done to try to upset me but this time my partner was so pissed off on my behalf that he cooked them, fed them to our dogs and took the rest around to our neighbours for their dogs. 😂

One of my exes mates came to stay for a weekend when I wasn't there and rearranged the fucking furniture in the living room. He thought it looked better his way. This was a man in his 50s but he was a cunt in so many other ways. The audacity of actually rearranging someone's house though!
A 'friend' came to stay and I'm not going in to all the details (you never know who's on here 👀) but she left permanent stains in my sink with her stupid bloody herbal teas and used all my toiletries without even asking. She didn't travel with any cos she's a well established freeloader. There's soooo much more she did but entitled freeloader sums her up.

This will out me to anyone who knows me. But we hosted for several years in a row the parents of a friend of DH's. The first time we ever met them was the first time we hosted them. They came to our part of the world annually for a festival, 4 days long and usually stayed a day or so on either side to 'settle in' and 'catch their breath'.

They never ONCE bought a gift for us, not even a bottle of wine. I sucked it up because DH said it was important to him to be generous to his friend's parents. TBF we never had to do dinners or anything but I always cooked them a full English breakfast etc. In return the wife who was quite sure of her own opinions would criticise everything- the colour of our carpets. The curtains. The way I pruned my roses. That our dogs were allowed upstairs. On one occason she observed making dinner for my DCs and sniffed 'I would never allow them to get away with eating that' etc . The last time she came she said that the mattress in our spare room was getting a bit old and she would expect we would be getting a new one before next year. That's the year I grew balls and said to DH 'never again'.

They jst used us like a hotel. One year they decided they were into the raw food diet and came and dumped mountains of raw food in my kitchen sink which when I kept moving (in order to use the sink) they got annoyed about.

After some years I saw their names mentioned in the FT. They had sold their family company for literally hundreds of millions. I do honestly think that given their wealth they could have at least brought us a bottle of wine on occasion.

That is just nasty 😮
I wouldn't let them in my house ever again and I am not a vegan

That is disgusting and I couldn't have held my tongue about the dog shit! Pretended not to notice indeed!

Many moons ago when I was single, between husbands and not in a relationship at all, a whole load of friends descended on our town for my friend's birthday. One of the blokes had travelled a long way so stayed at mine, in the spare room, on the Saturday night. We were entirely platonic friends. Now my neighbours all knew I lived alone and had no boyfriend - this is fairly crucial.

Around about 9am on the Sunday morning I woke up to hear a right kerfuffle going on in the street outside (can't remember what about), so I threw some clothes on and went to see what was going on. Most of my neighbours were either outside or standing in their front doorways watching events unfold. Anyway, it all settled down and I turned to go back inside, to see my friend, in his pyjamas and my pink dressing gown he'd found in the bathroom, standing at the open front door.

In front of all my neighbours he says loudly: "Are you coming back to bed now?".

Bastard. 🙄😂

Family member (my niece) asked to stay one night with her boyfriend as we live quite close to Heathrow airport, so they wouldn't have to get a train onwards until the next morning after a late flight.

They turned up, got settled into the spare room, and came down for dinner. Then told us stories from their week away including how their accommodation had been riddled with bedbugs.

As you can imagine we were horrified they had come to stay with us knowing that, but we kept civil!. I tried to console myself that if they'd brought them in already the damage was probably done so there was no point making a scene or kicking her out.

The end of the story is quite anticlimactic as by some grace of god we didn't catch bed bugs ourselves, but god the worry was a lot then and for a while after.

I've never felt quite the same way about my niece since then either for not changing her plans or realising the risk she was putting our household in (I had a toddler at the time).

These are all good but I really need OP to ask her guest why he’s tuning her toilet rolls around to “under” when he has them “over” in his own home.

Years ago I hosted husbands freinds for Christmas. A nice couple who I had known a while. We gave up our room for their comfort.

She got a cold and took to my bed whilst hubby had to go back to work and treated me like a slave till he came and picked her up again.

Not really the same but we had a play date once and after the girls mum complained about us playing music. She said only kids bop please… sorry but I’d rather chew my arm off. It wasn’t like NWA fuck da police type music either it was a playlist that’s mostly Fleetwood Mac and Bob Dylan… I don’t even think there was any swear words at all.

Also the wee girl was a bit of a brat and was trying to get my daughter to gang up on my son with her. My DS has autism and I was quite proud DD stood up for her brother so that was nice.

The Canadian cousin of probably 50, who I’d never met before, who stayed for 10 days, was taken by me to see all the London sights, and never once put his hand in his pocket for anything. Who wanted dd1 (then late 20s) to take him on a pub crawl. They were in the 3rd pub before he put his hand in his pocket, and then only because she’d finally said, ‘Your round!’

On top of that, at the time dh and a BiL were executors for the estate of an aunt, who’d left everything to be shared between several nieces and nephews, including him.
At the dinner table one night towards the end of his stay, he actually banged the table, saying, ‘I want to know what’s going on with this money!’ There was a crystal clear implication that dh and BiL were deliberately delaying and Up To No Good. Nothing could have been further from the truth - it was just taking time, as such things do.

When he finally left, there wasn’t so much as an email to say thank you.

They trashed the room, wider family, husbands side, they don’t have much money so our home was something that unexpectedly caused some jealousy and resentment issues, for him, not her, the actual relative, he kept making snide comments about how much money we had, was horrible throughout the trip, asking weird questions about why I wasted so much money on food ie why had I made dinner, when they all could have just had a cheese sandwich, refused to eat dessert as he said he was appalled I’d wasted money on buying it, they didn’t need dessert, like right there at the dinner table and loudly, and when they left, the room was in full disarray, quilt on the floor, towels on the floor, crusty sex tissues in the bed, dressing table pulled out and sitting where it shouldn’t, rubbish laying around the floor. I was horrified when I went in and saw the mess.

It was like a message of disdain to us.

Between MIL and FIL, SIL1 and child and SIL2 and Partner, I would break mumsnet.

The top three for each:
FIL's rigid catering requirements.
SIL1: failure to supervise violent three year old who scratched 18thC dining room chair legs with a staple remover and soent four days hitting 14mo DD.
SIL2 and Partner: used the house like an hotel for 10 days, leaving the guest ahower so filthy, DH never used it again, and left 4 cans of Fosters as a parting gift.

They are all equally idle and never offered help.

I know it’s gone from mildly annoying now to just confusing! He’s not always very good at thinking before acting and does loads of small things that are not necessarily wrong just different to how we do them, and if I’m staying in someone else’s house I always make an effort to notice and adjust how I do things - eg put things back where I found them. For example he once emptied the dishwasher (so he’s already way ahead of many other examples on this thread!!) and put all the mugs and glasses upside down in the cupboard, next to the ones that were the right way up. He puts the ketchup back in the cupboard, not the fridge. Little things like that. I can’t work out if he’s just thoughtless or trying to tell us we do things incorrectly.

I hate confrontation so I will have to think of a jokey way to ask…. (or get DH to do it - it’s his family!)

BUT thankyou everyone for making me feel much better and putting these minor things into perspective, some of these things would put me off hosting for life.

Went to house sit for a cousin for a week while she was on holiday. Shortly before we arrived got a message from my aunt (her battleaxe mother), not my cousin, saying “Feel free to move the furniture around as you wish. We do when we house sit”.

We didn’t.

Last time my folks came to 'see us', I literally spent so little time with them

Friday.. they make a whole production of the two hour journey, have to stop in the middle for a meal to save us the bother. This day they still hadn't set off at 4.30 as Dad decided to wash the car. Eventually turned up at 10.15, OH goes to bed at around 9pm as has to be up early but waited up for them. Came in bright and breezy demanding cups of tea and were surprised we wanted to go to bed before 11pm

Saturday.. stayed in bed till home 1pm then got up demanding tea and sausage sandwiches. Mum wanted to go somewhere specific eventually got her ass out just before 4pm. Dad stayed watching TV. Mum had hissy fit as the place we went stopped serving food at 3pm, wouldn't even stop for cake. We got home and OH had done dinner but Mum took herself off to bed. She eventually got up just as we were going to bed. Did herself a sandwich

Sunday ... She wanted to take us all out for a meal but yet again was in bed till the afternoon and was annoyed DS2 couldn't come as he had work at 4,pm. We ended up in Whetherspoons as lots of places had stopped serving food. We did actually get to chat for a few hours but she got drunk and ended up just embarrassing DS1

Monday... They asked to stay longer but we're in bed when I went to work but did demand tea. They eventually left for sightseeing 10 mins before I got home at 3 and didn't turn up till gone 9.30, whittling on about some wonderful hotel four course dinner

Tuesday, went to work without making tea, they left just after 2

Realised they didn't actually come to see us, I don't care really care but they wonder why they don't have a relationship with their grandkids

The sofa is clean and poo free!

Im ok but offended as the guest knows how hard I've worked on my house these last few months.

Going back a few years a friend turned up at my door after a row with her husband. She asked if she could stay the night and stayed a week. She was really messy and I felt like my home was no longer my own. She never offered a penny towards food. Subsequently she turned up unannounced again. By then I had installed my ring doorbell and saw that she had a small case with her, I didn't answer the door and she rang repeatedly. Fortunately I don't drive so I have no car to betray the fact that I'm at home. Her car was outside for over an hour before she finally drove off. Thank heavens for ring doorbells. So useful for filtering unwanted guests.

You can also answer a door bell and tell the caller you are away from home and answering on the app on your phone.

I don’t have people stay any more unless I know them really well, I used to be a lot more generous to friends’ relatives and so on, as I live in London.

One guy stayed (a brother of a friend), it was summer. I got home from work and he had turned the heating on and left it on the entire day, because he had washed a pair of jeans (so run a wash for one item) and wanted to dry them. I really didn’t like him, and did my best to avoid him. He came in late one night, and I was reading in my bedroom. As he came in I put out my light as I didn’t want him to knock on my door for any reason. The next day he had the audacity to bring it up, saying ‘you turned out your light, you’re avoiding me.’ When he left, his parting gift was a terrible photo, that he had taken himself, of the Sydney Opera House (he was Australian). Wow, thanks.

@amusedpyjamas My SIL came to stay and did that with the loo roll. At first I didn't notice until she said it to me . But I had the end under for a good reason as I had young kids and it prevented them from grabbing too much or unraveling it from the top . Don't touch anyone's loo roll should be a law .

Exactly!! Don’t mess with other people’s loo roll. I’m not here to judge, I don’t care which way people prefer theirs, as long as mine stays how it should be.

So brief update we were talking about Halloween and one of our DC was pretending to be a ghost. I jokingly asked a question about whether it was the ghost who had been messing around and turning the loo roll round all the time (yes I know I need to just be more direct I’m working on it!!), whilst looking at this family member and smiling. He straight away said “don’t look at me!” And flat out denied it. But it’s 100% him it’s been happening for a couple of years. It’s really not the end of the world I just want to know… why?

Honestly though reading some of these stories I would take these guests over any of the ones below - they are disgusting, hilarious and just plain odd - I asked, you delivered!!!