Share your story about the worst house guests - need a giggle!!

[amusedpyjamas]

We have had family staying for 5 days. It’s lovely to see them, very grateful for them etc but omg I can’t wait to have the house to ourselves again tomorrow.

What are weirdest/most deranged/worst stories about guests that have stayed in your house?? Or maybe it’s the hosts who have been totally unhinged?

One of our current guests is generally just a bit messy, but the thing I don’t understand is that every time he goes to the bathroom he turns the loo roll round in the holder and puts in back the other way round. In our house we’re always “over” with the loo roll but he turns it to “under”. Every single time, even when I think did he even use the loo roll, he was just cleaning his teeth. I thought well maybe that’s just a thing for him and that’s how they have it at home but nooooooo they have theirs “over” at home. I know it’s such a small thing but I’m just so confused!! Hardly the worst crime, I know - there must be some good ones out there though!

Please make me laugh this morning!

We used to have a holiday let in Cornwall. We had a guest stay and he returned about 3 times. He kept rearranging the bedroom furniture. We had the bed with the head at the wall in the centre of the floor but he kept moving it to completely against the wall. I don’t like it like that as it meant the person on the wall side had to climb over the person on the outside to get out. The last time he booked, I sent him a polite message saying while we like our guests to be comfortable, if he moves the bed again, please can he move it back when he leaves.

one of my husband’s friends keeps putting the toilet lid down. I get that that’s probably the ‘polite’ way to do it to keep smells in but I like the loo to be completely ready!!!!!

We moved abroad many moons ago and our ex neighbour (quite good friends at the time) came over a few months later to visit us (2nights) bringing her partner we hadn’t met!
We collected them from the airport, took them to collect a hire car, gave them our son’s room and he slept on the sofa (he was 6 and the living room was directly opposite our bedroom).

On the first night they drank the entire bottle of rum they had bought for us (we never drank much when son was young). After going to bed, she vomited in the bedroom, hallway and then the bath whilst I held her up (she was naked).
Finally got her to bed, cleared up etc. Sometime later woke with her partner naked in our bed with us!
Got that sorted, then young son came in soaking wet - the partner had pissed in the fireplace and on his quilt!
Son slept with us the rest of that night and the second night and our door was shut and locked!
There was more awful self righteous behaviour the next day but I’m not going into that - the first night was bad enough.
Never saw or spoke to her again 🙈

Eek, your husband not seeing a problem makes it worse.

I confronted my mother after a week (my husband had changed jobs during my pregnancy - not his fault as he was made redundant and he did well to find a new job very quickly, as we'd have struggled financially otherwise - so only had two weeks off, and so it was me waiting on my mother like a maid and entertaining my clingy 18 month old, from two weeks after a caesarean section).

My 18 month old was up at 5:30am and the baby was waking up soon after. My mother stayed in bed until I got the newborn down for a nap and she heard me put cbeebies on for the toddler so I could shower, and when she heard the TV she was going into the only bathroom and locking herself in for an hour - preventing me from showering.

Initially that was all I confronted her about, but she was so offended (she cried and said she "couldn't do anything right" and was getting up "early" to shower and "do my moisturiser" - for an hour apparently - before she could "help") which, looking back, has been what she's done to get her own way ever since I was about eight years old, but we children always followed our father's lead and fell over ourselves to apologise and tell her she was wonderful). As I responded by telling her she wasn't helping anyway so I'd rather she stay in bed so I could use my only window of opportunity to shower before the afternoon, having slept in 45 minute bursts and been up in sole charge for two and a half hours before putting the TV on for half an hour to let me shower, she was shocked and decided I was ungrateful.

She phoned my father in tears, who asked to speak to me and told me to apologise. When I started trying to tell him why I was upset he told me to for goodness sake just be nice for once and appreciate all she was doing for me!

That rather put the nail in the coffin!

My MIL was quite judgemental in her own way, but at least she actually helped! She'd been a housewife and felt that a spotless house came first and then there was time for the children, and felt breastfeeding was making a "rod for my own back" and irresponsible because I couldn't measure how much the baby drank... but on the other hand at least she vented her disapproval by cleaning my oven 🫣😜 and was brilliant about giving the toddler lots of attention and not parking herself in my breastfeeding chair and demanding to cuddle the baby until handing back for a nappy change, then expecting to be given back the clean baby and a cup of tea whilst advising me to get on and wash the floors whilst she was there to hold the baby (two weeks post caesarean section)!

I mean, it’s better than them NOT having used your deodorant, surely….!

Roll on? No, I don't think it is!

I am someone who hosts pretty often. I absolutely love our houseguests but there are ways that people can annoy me -

• Be very pushy about coming to stay. Ask months and months in advance so we can't say no. Particularly if it is in the middle of the summer holidays. If we say that we'd love to see them but we really need a day between houseguests, find ways that we could make having people leave and arrive on the same day work. If people are like this then they will be hard work as houseguests.
• Arrive mega early. It's fine to be a bit early but turning up at 1030 when we expect them at 4pm is annoying. Particularly if the guests know that we have loads of visitors coming and going.
• Insist that however they deal with their bins will also work where we live. This might be a bit niche but the binmen will refuse to empty our bins if we put the wrong stuff in them.
• Forget to bring essential things. Announce that they haven't brought any shoes for their children. Gaze at me expectantly. The best I can suggest isa a trip to Clark's or the big Tesco. I can't magic up shoes of various sizes.
• Bring wildly inappropriate clothing. Be up for a walk across muddy fields but only have fancy suede shoes.
• Fail to take stuff home. Shoes, coats, entire suitcases. This stuff becomes our problem to deal with.
• Not leave on time. Particularly if the guests know that we have loads of visitors coming and going. There's a reason hotels want you to check out at 10am.
• If I say that I would love to have them come and stay that week BUT on the Tuesday and Wednesday (say) I am judging the flower arrangements for the country fair / presenting something crucial on an online meeting so won't be able to host then, having the guests say "Oh, we'll be no trouble! You won't know we are there". This means they will keep asking how to work the telly remote, break something important that I need to fix right away and definitely won't go out for the day to leave me to it.
• Need a lot of attention and looking after generally. There will be times when I just need to have half an hour to stare at my computer and pay my car tax and reply to my solicitor. I had one lady announce (when I got up at 9am ish) that she'd been up since 6. When I said "Okay, did you make yourself a cup of tea?" she said that she didn't like to go through my cupboards. I am not getting up to host that early.

Ah yes @CruCruI had forgotten the general annoyance of not keeping to agreed timekeeping or indeed not making concrete arrangements.
So relatives are arriving today but I know not when or how they will be in touch ( I have a vague idea because of flight time landings at local airport). It’s less of a bother as they aren’t staying with us this time, but one time they arrived a full day later than expected as they neglected to tell us they were stopping en route over night. Even the CF H looked slightly shamefaced when he realised his DW hadn’t updated us, her response was that she knew we would be around anyway so it didn’t matter is one of the many reasons a home invite hasn’t been extended this time.

Fil visited us and we paid for everything. Train tickets to Greenwich, entry to the millennium dome and dinner after. He never put his hand in his pocket once to remove his creepy coin purse.
Bil came to stay with his new wife.
He left a used condom on top of the rubbish in the kitchen bin. Our disgusting staffy ate it and cost us £300 + about 20 years ago at the vet.
SiL is unspeakable

I once had a family come to stay for a month. They arrived a day early because they had forgotten about the time difference between here and Australia.

🤣

Good God.....😫😫

We must be of a certain age!! :-)

This could be my sons dad, he used to drink too much a pee everywhere, when he did it at his dads, in his dads bed they kindly let us use, he wanted to say it was me (heavily pregnant at time), I politely declined

We had a work friend of husbands stay with us for four days, gave him three meals a day, husband took him to the pub a couple of times etc. on the last night he said he wanted to thank us by buying us dinner. We went for a curry which was not by any means expensive. When the bill arrived he said tell you what let's split it!!

My grandad’s first wife unfortunately died young. My grandad was in the navy so his son was sent to a top boarding school in the 50s. He got it closed down due to drug dealing and ending up in borstal where I think they must have give him electric shock therapy or something as he came out a different person, some weird born again Christian hippie.

So he is my mum’s much older half brother. When grandad died my nan (his stepmum) would have him for Christmas and this then fell to my mum when my nan got too old to host.

So picture this, a creepy old half uncle who was a socially inept keen photographer taking photos of people at the Xmas dinner table. I don’t mean nice photos, I mean you've just stuck a roast spud and gravy in your chops and he’s snapping away making everyone uncomfortable. He had to be told to put the camera away by my dad. Mix in a few inappropriate sexual comments amongst that too.

Then after dinner he proceeded to show us photos of his Christian missionary work and it was just piles of African tribal women and girls with their tits out. It was so awkward and obvious that had been his focus whilst there.

After Nan died we just stopped having him because he was a pervy weirdo.

He went on to get a sexual offence charge for lewd conduct because he’d been walking around his London ground floor flat living room butt naked with the curtains open, flashing at women and children. He ended up marrying a mail order bride from the Philippines.

He has a YouTube channel preaching the word of God like he’s some sort of prophet and giving advice on marriage! Bear in mind he was only married for 10 months to his first wife who was a prostitute. He thought he could save a “fallen woman.” I think he was just a sexual deviant.

He married his second wife in his late 60s and she could barely speak English, so he is in no place to talk about successful marriages.

One video was talking about sex and French kissing within a Christian marriage. I nearly threw up. Needless to say he’s been blocked on all social media platforms and we have no contact with him.

Oh that’s grim 🤢

My aunt once came for lunch

I scrubbed my house spotless (we call her Hyacinth and she called me Rose)

She pulled up,yanked her Dyson out of the car along with more cleaning products than I've ever seen in my life,cleaned my house from top to bottom,ate lunch and then went home again

I left her to it!

She wasn't being nasty it's the way she does things

Someone on here called it her 'love language' and I fully agree!

I've never scrubbed my skirting boards quite like she did that day

@NowhereTown if use a fridge lock and tell them why. That or ban them.