Any only child parents who do not feel guilty about it?

[HulkHogansHair]

Any only child parents who feel no guilt about their child having no siblings ? Ive got one child and dont want anymore and im too old anyway! However all I see is guilt from 1 child mums. Is that a major thing ? I feel more guilty hes got a crap dad.

Me! No guilt. DD has a fab life we couldn't afford with more.

1 child here, zero guilt. He has never been lonely a day in his life and is adored by my H and me. He's 14 now, fully capable of sharing and doesn't have any only child stereotype behaviours. I'm knackered from everything that we do for him and have huge respect and admiration for parents with more than one child!

If we live functional, peaceful, productive lives we should have no regrets about anything.

What a waste of time and energy regretting the number of DC you have. If you have 1
or 4, if you have none and you have been fortunate enough to have been able to exercise some choice what is there to regret.

Many have no choice, which is sad and unfortunate. Many make poor choices and there may lie room for regret.

I chose to have one DC. So of course I don’t regret having one DC.

And my adult DD is a very happy and fortunate 1 DC.

I know a few. No guilt I know of. I am always impressed they saw the sense in channelling time, money etc into one and didn’t assume more was better just because hormones and society say so.

No guilt at all. I’m an only child too.
I look around and feel that parents with 3 or 4 should have more guilt reallly!

Same @PoorUncleBarry Very impressed with parents who have to coordinate and shuttle multiple kids and activities.
I love that we can give her our full attention.
One really interesting observation that a friend made to me yesterday was that as a young teenager and only child, she doesn't have a sibling to confide in to say "how embarrassing are our parents" and that I do feel sad about. Someone who is experiencing the same stuff and has somewhat a similar perspective. It's helped me to realise that when she talks to one of us about the other's behaviour it is because we're the only other person close enough to see it. A valuable insight.
On the whole though, she seems well adjusted, is more mature than many children her age because she spends more time interacting with adults and is a joy to be around.

To be honest at times I have fleeting moments of guilt- they will never experience siblings bonds. But for my own mental health I would never have coped with another child when she was younger and I am so happy with just having one now. She is a well rounded 9 yr old who is quietly confident around other children and adults. Pleased I never had anymore

Dd gets all my resources in time, money, and family priorities. We take holidays we could never afford with multiple children. We are going to pay for university and help significantly with graduate studies. When she finally settles somewhere, we can move and live somewhere reasonably nearby but not so close as to crowd her.

She has also told us she is happy she doesn’t have to deal with a sibling. She sees her friends having to navigate those relationships and they aren’t always positive.

I actually agree with this.

My DD and I talk about our experience as a DM of an only DC and her experience as an only DC. All of her friends have siblings and she feels she has a unique perspective on some of the situations young people are
experiencing today in terms of needing parental support.

My DD has achieved so much and continues to aspire. Watching her life and obviously being part of it is exciting. She had 2 DC, by choice and will have more.

If I had 3 or 4, the person I am, I would have put as much into all of them. But I have inner moments where I give thanks that I don’t have
to.

The book Parenting your only child is worth a read, it brings out many advantages as well as suggesting ways to avoid the disadvantages. It certainly made me feel better in the context of secondary infertility.

It never occurred to me to have a second child or to feel a moment’s guilt about having one. Guilt is a choice. And a completely pointless one.

What on earth would they feel guilty about?

Me. I've no idea what you think we should feel guilty about? People have more children because they want them, having a sibling is not for the other child/children's benefit.

I would try tackling the reasons you feel guilt. An example: someone might say they have "deprived" their child of a sibling bond. A lot of people don't get on with their siblings but that seems to be the big one on MN that I've seen as the reason to have two regardless!

To counter that, could you enroll your child in plenty of clubs and ensure they have a big friendship network around them so they're never missing out on anyone to play with.

Our only child lives a life of activities, holidays, sports, hobbies, experiences - things we would have to cut back on for a sibling! No thank you.

No guilt or regret here.

However all I see is guilt from 1 child mums

No you don't.

No guilt, daughter has a great life and all our attention, has loads of friends so not lonely and i think if we had 2 we’d be a lot more stressed with more to juggle. Friends with just 1 also don’t feel any guilt.

Me. I have one lovely DS, now 20, and I feel nothing but good fortune to have had a child at all. He’s great, gets on well with lots of different types and ages, and has done pretty well in his life so far.

I was 40 when he was born and we decided we’d not try for another. I was one of three and I do feel sad at times that he won’t have that sibling closeness I have, but that is not something that happens for everyone with siblings anyway.

I spent a lot of my adult life thinking I would not have kids at all so I feel nothing but lucky to have had my DS. Cheesy but true.

God no.

We seriously considered 2, I even had a miscarriage. I've realised that ultimately I'm a better mother of 1 than I would have been of 2+.

I was one of 5 and it was difficult. I'm not close to any of my siblings.

DS(12) gets plenty of attention. We can indulge his interests. DH and I have plenty of time to do our own thing. We also take DS on holiday solo.

Of course I don't feel any guilt. I do try to foster relationships with his cousins and aunts and uncles for when we are dead, but I've done way worse things in my life than just having the one child.

I know I am biased, but I find the idea of regretting having 1 DC incompressible.

Zero guilt. I’m also an only child as was my mother.

No guilt here. I can see the benefits of a 2nd but the benefits of 1 are bigger for us. I don’t see it thst they are ‘deprived’ of a sibling. They haven’t had one to know the difference

I used to as l couldn't have any more after dd was born so not my fault really, but actually she has lots of enriching experiences and amazing holidays that we just couldn't afford if we had any more. Also her huge friend group are always welcome here although sometimes she is glad to have some peace and quiet!

No issues here.
I had my DC quite late in life having not originally wanted children. If there were siblings we wouldn't be able to afford to provide all that we currently do for DC (and we're not a high income household).
I'm not massively "maternal". I never was one to coo over babies and get all excited about prams and toddlers. I love my DC immensely but am very glad we have just the one.
They have a good, close friendship group, and are close with the extended family too.

Not even a tiny bit of guilt. I'm sure she'd much rather have a decent house deposit and no university debt than a sibling.