Do you lend or gift money to your adult children?

[Nextones]

Hi,

for those of you with adult children, do you ever loan/gift them money?

if so, does it cause any issues- not repaying etc?

I give them it. We are comfortable and I like to flow money down if needed. I certainly wouldn’t want it back, I get huge pleasure out of gifting.

My grandma would lend us whatever (so long as she had it) but if you didn't pay her back, she wouldn't lend you anything again. She was very firm on that and something i do with my older 3 sons.
Christmas & birthdays she gave money as gifts when we got to 16/17.

I’ve helped them out on occasion, mostly just small amounts as none of us has very much; if I’ve needed it back I’ve always said at the start, and they’ve been great at returning when they said so the trust is there. I’ve been known to have to remind them, but we all agree that’s fine and no one gets snotty about it. If it didn’t work like that I wouldn’t do it (probably!)

I give them money. Sometimes to help them out and sometimes just to treat them. Not massive amounts just what I can afford.

Pretty much every month at the moment. But they do pay it back every pay day. If I can’t afford to, I do say so and it’s ok. Sometimes is £50 and other times it’s £200…
Unfortunately it can often be due to an employer that’s not good at paying on time.

My mum gives me it if I need it; but I pay her back out of kindness. Shes never wanted not expected it back.

I regularly give my DC money. They are mid twenties and struggling with huge costs of renting rooms in London on shit salaries.

I felt guilty recently because I had to tell DS the £800 I gave him for deposit on new rental would need to be paid back once he got deposit back from old flat.

He was of course very grateful and will pay me back immediately.

I think it’s difficult when some/lots of their friends come from insanely wealthy families who pay their rent or in some cases have bought their DC flats in London.

So I do what I can, but they really don’t expect it. If I said I am having to be careful with money this Christmas so it will be £50 each and a couple of small items to open, they would be asking how they could help.

Meanwhile their dad sits on piles of money and never gives them a penny. He will leave it to his second wife who will leave it to her DC (not his)

So I think I feel an additional pressure to provide for them as I chose badly when I chose their father. 😞

I’d be much more inclined to give what I can afford rather than lend, but then I do have money so that’s easier for me than for most. I feel that young people now are going to spend decades in huge debt if they study and buy a house so I don’t want to increase that.

In some ways it has been good that we had so little cash when he was younger, as he has grown up extremely—tight— careful. But tbh I think he just came out like that really.

No. They have never asked. They are independent adults with jobs and expect to manage their own finances.

But if I win on the premium bonds this month I would divi it between them.

I’m an adult child and get 3k a year from my parents - I only get it because it means I can avoid paying inheritance tax on it 😂

The only money we’ve “lent” to our adult DC is three months’ deposit on a rented flat. To be returned on leaving and TBH we expect it to be needed for the next place.
The rest has been given.

So I do what I can, but they really don’t expect it. If I said I am having to be careful with money this Christmas so it will be £50 each and a couple of small items to open, they would be asking how they could help

Sounds like you raised good kids. Sod their dad.

If DD borrows money off me, she pays it back because that's how life works. It's taught her to budget and spend wisely. I do treat her now and again.

Wow, are the open to adopting adults ? 🤣😊

If I can afford to give it I will give it I need it paid back I would make that clear however I wouldn't lend anything I would struggle if it wasn't returned.

😂

They’re just very practical people - 3k is the annual allowance before you’re subject to IHT and as I’m an only child it makes sense to give me as much as possible before that kicks in, I guess!

We each give £3000 to each of our children every year - so £6000 per child.
As a pp said it's a very tax efficient way of giving money.

The total per year is 3k - it isn’t 3k per person so you’re actually giving double what you should be to avoid IHT.

@beaglescurleduplikebagels is correct. Depending on the facts it might fall outside IHT as a regular gift out of income- make sure you keep good records showing that the money comes from your surplus income (if it does) and that your own standard of living is not diminished. https://www.gov.uk/hmrc-internal-manuals/inheritance-tax-manual/ihtm14231

We lent one daughter money to buy a car and she and her boyfriend are paying that off on a monthly basis (she is the registered owner but they live together and it is their only car so morally it is theirs rather than hers). Over a year on and there have been no issues with repaying so far.

We have also given both children deposits to enable them to get into the property ladder.

We don’t give them other money. But if we go out somewhere - for example to eat - we always pay.

I have that allowance as an individual and my partner has his so we gift £6,000 per year between us.

No, but we haven’t got any money ourselves.

We would if we could though.

If I needed it, they would.

My mum used to pay for my eldest to go to nursery because we couldn’t afford it at the time.

We have helped my oldest child with a deposit for a house and will help my youngest when he wants to buy. It is so very difficult to get on the property market. The alternative was that they would live at home for longer and I want to encourage their independence. I would also like to downsize to a smaller house in the next five years.

My parents (divorced) both have given us quite substantial amounts over the years. My mum especially is determined that we pay as little IHT as possible and uses a financial advisor. They would rather we have the money now when we can make use of it than when we’re already approaching old age ourselves. I’ll do the same for my children if I’m in a position to do so.

My mum (60s) never accepts money back that she’s given to me. If I am taking the kids out for the day, she will often transfer over say £50 for their day. She’s much more comfortable than I am (roll on nursery fees ending), and is happy to be in a position where her kids/grandkids benefit.