Drank far too much and now ashamed of what I did

[Threefrogs]

I got extremely drunk last night and made a complete fool of myself in front of everyone, and I think I might have really damaged some relationships. Or maybe it’s just the fear because I feel awful and so ashamed. I have some gaps in my memory and I’m not sure I want to try to remember.

I don’t even have an excuse. I drank way too much and ended up with a male friend who I like, but not even quietly so everyone knows and I think some people were annoyed. I messaged my best friend who wasn’t drunk and who I trust 100% and she told me what I did and what happened until she left at least.

I know that I probably need to talk to him but I’m so embarrassed after apparently telling him how much I fancied him and being really inappropriate.

I just want to crawl under a rock and never speak to anyone ever again. I don’t usually drink so much and I’m not sure why I even did this. I had to cancel a meet up with my family today because I really couldn’t get out and I just really hate myself.
Not sure why I even wrote this post. Maybe just to get it off my chest.

Come on, message him, get it over with and forgive yourself.

It’s not as bad as you think.

He might be pleased you fancy him? Or is he not available?

And drink
lots of water and rehydrate.

Ok. Everyone makes mistakes.

I think how you repair this depends on a) your relationship status/history and his, b) your age and c) what you actually did (did you just tell him you fancied him? Did you shag him in a public place?)

Be kind to yourself. Shame is a horrible emotion and won't make it better. Have a warm bath, snuggle up and watch something nice. X

You said you "ended up with him" but then said you're ashamed, need to apologise to him, and acted inappropriately.

I don't understand. Did you sleep with him, or just try to, and he rejected you?

You have hangxiety. Take it easy and hunker down today. He may have been pleased, depending on how you did it!

Either way, worse things happened at sea, as my granny would have said.

Isn't it just awful, that post drunk feeling? ❤️ Deep breath. Message everyone (affected) and say sorry. If you DO fancy this bloke, don't apologise for that! Be gentle with you. In a few days all will be well

unless you have pissed yourself, shagged someone you shouldn't have, got arrested or hurt someone, then you are fine OP. It will be tomorrow's chip paper.

What did you do that you think was inappropriate? Pestering or unwanted touching is inappropriate. Flirting and reciprocal touching isn’t.

Agree this will be at least partially the beer blues. You will be down and spiralling assuming the worst. The reality is likely not as bad as you fear.

I would feel sorry for yourself today but contact the group if there is a joint group and apologise sincerely for any inappropriate behaviour and you are reconsidering your relationship with alcohol as a result. Make no excuses. If you did something really bad then this is the best chance to make amends, if it's not that bad your self reflection will reflect well on you anyway.

Contact the guy separately and make sure he's ok, apologise if your behaviour was unwelcome.

Thanks so much.
I definitely was inappropriate and I won’t make excuses for that.
We did sleep with another so I don’t think he minded too much but I am feeling so uneasy about the memory gaps and what on earth I might have said. I don’t even want to know.
Thanks for listening and telling me that it might not be so bad

Well you must not have been that inappropriate if he chose to sleep with you! That's unless either of you are in a relationship

He should not have had sex with you if you were so drunk you were blacking out. Appalling.

Babe, I once got so drunk I woke up in a cell. You’re fine. It’ll be fine.

I do have to say though since I went sober I never have a single day where I wake up like this. It’s wonderful and I’d recommend it.

Ok if you had sex with him dont apologise, hope you had a nice time, treat yourself today.

Criminality and abuse aside, your friends arent real friends if they hold this random evening of drunkenness against you. Would you hold it against them? They might not want to raise it for fear of embarrassing you or they might also have gaps. You will feel better by Tuesday. Do not fill gaps by thinking the worst. Also if you were Sex active whilst so blazing drunk, the other person possibly shouldnt have been going down that road with you (if you did sleep with them - its not clear from the post if you did). Apologise for drunk you if you really should. Dont stress over it. Also check if anything else is bothering you at the moment - which led you to consume more than your normal. Keep hydrated.

I agree with this. If he had sex with you knowing you were so drunk you didn't know what you were doing then he is the one who should be feeling guilty because he is.

She wasnt blacking out though, she knew exactly waht she was doing because she has told us in her post. She was offering sex on a plate and the guy obliged!!

Having memory gaps the next day is not the same as blacking out whilst having sex

To be fair it sounds like she was with it enough to give enthusiastic verbal consent that she found him attractive and would like to have sex.

even if it was just a one off thing I’m hoping in future you reflect fondly on having had one night of passion with your crush. Like others have said, chin up, don’t do it again, apologise to anyone who needs to be apologised to. Just be authentic and it’s fine.

Honey, I did stuff like this and it's why I stopped drinking. Think about it.

You just have to totally own it. By that I mean, message him and say I can’t find a big enough rock to crawl under so I thought I better message you and say blah blah blah about last night. Do it sooner rather than later!

A female friend of ours came round with her OH a couple of weeks ago and got so drunk she could just about stand, she couldn’t finish a sentence and I won’t go into the details as to what the toilet was like. She opened and spilt an entire bottle of gin, broke glasses etc..you get my drift.

I saw her on Friday night and she never mentioned it. I didn’t want a grovelling apology and I had no intentions of making her feel bad about it but if she had just said “really sorry about the other night“ that would have been fine. But the fact that she said nothing annoyed me especially given the clean up.

This is why I avoid drink like the plague. I used to drink a lot. Now I don’t touch the stuff. It’s the work of the Devil and made me embarrassed and ashamed to be myself

If it was a bloke getting pissed and telling his female friend how much he fancied her, loudly , and being a pain, the answers would be VERY different to " awww just own it/we've all been there/ hope you had a good time"
They'd be " what a creep! Supposed to be your mate . You don't get drink and hit on a friend". Etc

If you do tell him you made a mistake don't forget to tell him you had your beer goggles on and you'd never normally sleep with him. Make him feel so much better about himself 🙄

Wow! That’s awful, I wouldn’t be happy either. 😳