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Original poster

Drank far too much and now ashamed of what I did

55 replies

Threefrogs · 30/08/2026 15:34

I got extremely drunk last night and made a complete fool of myself in front of everyone, and I think I might have really damaged some relationships. Or maybe it’s just the fear because I feel awful and so ashamed. I have some gaps in my memory and I’m not sure I want to try to remember.

I don’t even have an excuse. I drank way too much and ended up with a male friend who I like, but not even quietly so everyone knows and I think some people were annoyed. I messaged my best friend who wasn’t drunk and who I trust 100% and she told me what I did and what happened until she left at least.

I know that I probably need to talk to him but I’m so embarrassed after apparently telling him how much I fancied him and being really inappropriate.

I just want to crawl under a rock and never speak to anyone ever again. I don’t usually drink so much and I’m not sure why I even did this. I had to cancel a meet up with my family today because I really couldn’t get out and I just really hate myself.
Not sure why I even wrote this post. Maybe just to get it off my chest.

OP posts:
sweetpickle2 · 01/09/2026 14:17

Thisistyresome · 01/09/2026 14:13

Well, it is. It rather depends on what is meant by that description. I would assume “seeing someone” would mean a relationship with the expectation of exclusivity, but I am told by some much younger colleagues to them it does not.

I’d still be suspicious of someone who did that regardless of the “normal” expectations of certain labels, as someone who is getting about while having someone semi attached seems off. But there are distinctions.

Show quote history

Sorry I wasn't clear enough- I should have said whether OP THINKS its serious or not is neither here nor there (which is what OP said in their post).

I agree it is perfectly normal for some people to sleep with others when they're in the early stages of dating/seeing someone else. But I suspect that OP burying the lede about this man not being single, then guessing at how serious his relationship is based on the fact that he didn't bring his partner to this social event (absolutely no measure of how serious a relationship is) sounds more like it is her justifying her actions than any true representation of his relationship.

Jom222 · 01/09/2026 16:19

sweetpickle2 · 01/09/2026 10:42

I think you've buried the lede a bit here OP, had you put that he wasn't single in your first post you'd have got different responses. Him not being single should be why you mostly feel bad, not partially so. You say you liked him, so why were you getting wasted with him in the first place?

That being said he is the prince who cheated, and with someone blackout drunk- he is primarily in the wrong here, and I certainly wouldn't be in contact with him or caring how "nice" he was. He's a cheat and a predator. Weird that you say you don't think he did anything wrong.

I was in a similar situation in my youth during a period in my life when I was suicidal- not making excuses just explaining where my mental health was- I was absolutely wasted and an engaged man (not a friend, just someone I'd met via a mutual friend that evening) absolutely took advantage of me. I felt a lot of guilt for a long time, and still do about his now wife, but with therapy I have come to realise he was the one in the wrong.

You can't undo what you've done, but I would cut contact with this so-called 'friend' and get some therapy.

Edited

similar happened to me once. My car had broken down and I stayed over at a male friends house who would take me to work next day, I got way too drunk and slept w/his friend who was engaged.

I was deeply ashamed at my actions and equally angry at the guy, he was drunk too but not nearly as drunk as I was. I would NEVER do that sober, its just gross. 35 years later I still cringe.

Had he been single I wouldn't feel a bit of shame over drunken sex but he wasn't single

momager22 · 01/09/2026 18:40

Honestly if you’re still that upset about it I’d probably send a message to a few people saying ‘I drank too much and I’m not proud of the way I behaved, I just wanted to acknowledge that’ or similar.
but I bet most won’t be bothered or still thinking about it

augustuss · 01/09/2026 19:21

WhatNextImScared · 01/09/2026 07:25

This is the most depressing post I’ve ever read. I intend to still be making new friends in the nursing home. Every part of life matters just as much as the last.

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Thanks for this. I agree.
And if op can’t remember it a day later, there’s not much of memories for the future to ‘keep as company’.

augustuss · 01/09/2026 19:22

Op, when you say you usually don’t drink so much - that is not the first time that happened, is it? Im curious how old you are… The damaged relationships and the annoyed people - may be, you don’t like them and now they know, which is fair.
Are you or this guy with other people?

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