Help me construct a message to our neighbour / dog sitter

[AleaEim]

Hoping someone can help me with this awkward situation. We live on a small, friendly cul de sac where everyone knows each other by name. About two years ago, our neighbour who is also a dog sitter started looking after our dog while we were away or at work. He does charge but on a casual basis, made out he does it more for the love of animals rather than it being his full time job. We have a ring door bell and I told him it records at the time even though it didnt( this was to deter him from any lying as we had experience of this from a previous sitter), anyway never really thought much of it, trusted him as time went on, got to know him over the years as well as his lovely daughter who visits him and our dog sometimes).

We recently set up the recording feature on the doorbell but hadn’t really been checking it as I trusted him until about two weeks ago when I realised something didn’t add up after a sit, checked the camera and realised he had left our dog alone for 11 hours while we were at a wedding despite him telling us she spent the day/ night at his house. In 24 hours, he took her out twice for 10 minutes. I thought maybe this was a once of so checked some other days and he had done similar while we were at work, told us he walked her for an hour when I could see him on camera walking to his house and coming back with her after 15 mins.

I had to react quite carefully as he had our key still and we were about to go away again and had him booked in so did not say anything, just asked some questions about the dog to see if he’d admit anything out of the ordinary but he didn’t. We then cancelled the dog sit before we went away without explanation and asked someone else to cover. We’re back now and have asked him for the key without explanation which he dropped back in letter box today.

I have not bumped into him and haven’t had a chance to say anything face to face although I haven’t made a huge effort to confront him as it’s just bloody awkward, he looks after others people’s pets in the street and has lived here a lot longer than us and neighbours sing his praises.

Im wondering if I should just message him since I don’t seem to bump into him. I suppose I’ll have to just say what I saw on the camera. My husband thinks we should just leave it and not say anything, I’m torn. Looking for advice. If he was a non neighbour dog walker I’d definitely have said something by now but we live so close together.

Yup. It's cowardice, and nothing more.

he’d go off for two hours maybe even longer and say he fancied a longer walk, I’m thinking now that they were just over the road in his house the whole time.

This is so crazy and I think you are right.

The very low rate of pay and the fact he doesn't seem to have questioned at all why you would be cancelling a dog sit (he must have seen that someone else was at your place doing it) and asking for the key to be returned are red flags. He knows he's done wrong, probably just writing it off as a 'well it was good while it lasted' thing.

He sounds like a mega weirdo.

@AleaEim do you know that other people are definitely still using him? Do you see him out with other people's dogs? Maybe you were the last to cotton on.

I'd dig around a bit.

You have to do something.. I pay for pet sitting when I'm away etc and I would be absolutely furious to find out my pet had been left that long and not given the service I'd paid for; you need the option to use someone else that will give you the service your paying for, so you need to be direct and say you will be using someone else going forward as its obvious he can't give the level of care you thought you were getting for your dog. Whether you tell other neighbours or not is up to you and a difficult one but you could tell any you trust you will be using a different dog sitter from now on and why.

I think this is a case of needing to pay proper money for a proper service. Id be really angry as well. How awkward when it’s neighbour!

That poor dog. She must have been terrified, never mind the mess inside. My dogs would have hated that.

Yes he absolutely needs to be told. He can't be allowed to do this to any other animals.

Hard to help construct a reply - do you think he could have a tendency to get angry/abusive? (aside from him being an animal abuser)

How awkward! I honestly wouldn't say anything though. I mean you don't really want to get on the wrong side of him and make things awkward. Change locks and forgot about it, I imagine since he hasn't asked, he probably knows himself and is likely avoiding you. If he or anyone on the street asks I would say it came to light that he wasn't taking dog out as often or for as long as we'd been led to believe so changed sitter.