How would you split this cost?

[Wherehas2023gone]

Here’s the scenario
Mum and teenage son plan a 3 night trip to Europe. Mum intend her partner and also son’s friend. Apartment sleeps 6 (2 bedroom). Partner invites two relatives.

Apartment can’t be cancelled.

There was no mention of cost split when friend was invited, it has subsequently become clear a split is expected.

Partner and relatives are no longer going.

How much of the apartment cost should be attributed to the friend?

If you invited your son and his friend and didn't say the friend should pay for themselves at the beginning then I think you should pay for him
If I understand right your partner and the other two people aren't going now, which is surely a good thing as I don't see how they would all fit into a two bedroom holiday let and I don't think the owners would be happy either.

I guess I'd expect friend's parents to cover their flight and spending money. Perhaps a small contribution towards their meals/excursions.

However I'd be inviting the friend for company for my child. I'd expect to keep the same size accommodation (and so no additional cost) and they share a space. I'd also expect to be a host and pay for a lot of their food and activities, as generally we'd decide as a family what we wanted to do.

Teenage son's friend should pay 1/6th of apartment price.

Why? The friend is invited to presumably keep the child entertained ( so a plus for the mum inviting) there is no extra cost to the invited child sharing his friends room!

what are being asked to pay and what’s he getting. Assuming he will be sharing a room with the friend ? Who is covering food costs and activities.

I think this is a reasonable offer. It's not your child's fault the partner has bailed out.

I think it depends on original plan. Was it initially intended just to be the three of them? If so then I’d say a third is fair. If it was originally planned for six then I’d say one sixth is fair as your son will not be occupying more space because fewer people are now going. In that scenario she needs to look to her partner and his friends to make up the shortfall.

When our kids were teens we booked a villa - They invited 4 friends - we didn't charge them anything for accommodation/food but they did pay their own flights.
We thought that fair.

@Wherehas2023gone she's a CF! She's the one who invited your son because that will make the trip more fun for her son. Now she wants you to pay the accomodation. I would call her and ask her about total costs for the trip because you need to know if you can afford for your ds to go or not. She will quickly retract because she doesn't want to disappoint her son.

My head is fried now.

If you invite a teenager on a family trip it’s usually flights and spending money (but spending money is so they can buy extras, not contribute to meals etc). Spending money would be used the same way as the family’s
teenager - snacks, drinks, possibly an activity they want to do.

if it’s expected that they pay accommodation etc then it would need to be very explicit by the parents of the invited teen.

FGS OP just spit it out!

If you are the friends mum, the only important infomation here is how he was originally invited? Were you told that he would have to contribute to accommodation costs?

Why would you go ahead and book flights etc without clarifying any of this??

I’d be inclined to go myself I’d there’s space lol!
otherwise it’s a bad choice not to talk money in advance - most I’d suggest 1/3 rd

Was your son invited under the understanding that it was 6 people going? If so, and 3 have now dropped out - that’s not your problem! I’d agree to pay his 1/6th of the cost …

If it was originally just the 3 - then you’re in a trickier position!

If there were six people going originally, I would at most expect to pay ⅙ of the accommodation cost for my kid because the fact that others outside of my sphere of influence are no longer able to come is not the problem of the teenage guest!
I'd offer to pay for his flight too (if you aren't already and if he can't cover it himself).

Things add up and what can seem like a good idea can become a bit of a burden, so I understand the mum feeling a bit panicked about paying for all this, but her partner and his relatives pulling out should not bump up the price for a kid she chose to invite along.

Your son was only invited to keep his friend company. I definitely wouldn't be offering to pay more than a sixth of the accommodation cost.

If they are younger teens, I wouldn’t have expected your son to pay for any accommodation.. at very most 1/6 but that seems like splitting hairs when you have paid for flights and offered the money for food and excursions …

I’ve checked my messages, original invitation only mentioned flights price. Later message said she had found an Airbnb but no mention of costs . Flights then booked and then I was told 6 of them going and sent a link.
I asked what contribution was needed for excursions, food and accommodation and the replies were only about food and excursions.
Only today was it mentioned that the airbnb was going to be more expensive.

(it is 2 bed and sofa bed I think)

If the child has been invited I’m very surprised it’s cost them anything! I’d decline my child going now, seems to much of a faff and they don’t seem good people. I’ve no evidence of this though 🫣

Based on the fact your son is having half a bedroom, he shouldn't pay any more than a quarter. It sounds like an odd setup though - have the mum and her partner fallen out?

If I invited my teens friend along on holiday I wouldn’t ask for anything towards accommodation…

Not going isn’t an option (my son is looking forward to it), and I can afford it, I’m just slightly surprised by it all. I trust her and she is a nice person. Luckily it isn’t an expensive city and the flight was also quite cheap.
Ive offered the 25% and won’t make a similar mistake again…

When we invite my kids’ friends we expect to get themselves there but wouldn’t charge for accommodation. We provide all accommodation, and most meals, as the kids are all over 18 they often take themselves out for meals, to the pub etc. if any of my teens were invited away I’d assume a similar set up.

I wonder if she originally was going to split costs 6 ways.

for example £600 / 6 people so £100 a head.

If so you’re 25% will be more than the original cost she was going to ask for!

I wouldn't ask a DC friend to contribute to accommodation as they don't require an extra room anyway, so don't increase the cost. The people who bailed should still be paying!

But like you, I'd do it this time as to not disappoint DC