What is likely to happen after calling Social Services for eloping?

[Mirrorsandsmoke]

My son is severely autistic and non verbal. He has always tried to escape since he was 5. We locked all the windows and doors to prevent this happening but unfortunately a few years ago, he managed to open the downstairs window security latch and climb out

He had never tried this before and from what we thought we knew, he couldn't open it but he did and was wandering around in a shop. DH went looking for him and he was with one of the teachers. A report was made to SS and we received a call but they were understanding a closed the case a day later.

I cannot believe I am writing this but it has happened again today. I was hoovering in the kitchen. DS was with me but whilst my back was turned he took the keys out the drawer. I asked him to wait in the living room while I finish up. A couple mins later I started calling for him, when there was no answer I walked out of the kitchen and saw the front door wide open

I grabbed my toddler and ran out but I went the opposite way thinking he has headed for his favourite park. In this time, ds crossed a road and was wandering near the shops. As I ran up I saw him stood with some people and thankfully not hurt, a kind lady walked us back home. She told me the other people had called the police so I went back a few times incase they showed up but no one arrived. I have left my name, address and number.

I called Childrens Services / Social Services to explain what had happened and to ask for advice regarding the eloping and also if there is any respite they can offer. They said they'd have to call me back as no one is available currently. They said they don't know if i'll get a call today or even tomorrow.

I have now ordered a key safe, and bought a camera to detect motion in the front garden. Have also positioned the door sensor lower down now and within reach so I can see what setting it is on, it wasnt on the blaring setting (I thought it was) so I didnt realise the door opened. Dh put it high up to avoid ds taking it off.

I was speaking to my neighbor about what happened and she said it was really silly to call SS and invite trouble. She said as it's happened before they can consider removing both children. I hadn't even thought of this, I just wanted some advice from them and also wanted to let them know as soon as it happened, how it happened etc. These are the questions they asked me before.

Now I am stressing over losing my kids. I really don't want them to think we are neglectful. I was so shaken up and needed to tell them what's happened hoping to get some support. Now I feel I have made a mistake by calling

We have never had SS involvement or any concerns apart from DS eloping a few years ago and now this. What is likely to happen?

I can’t comment on SS involvement because this hasn’t happened to us but we do have a 7 year old autistic child who often opened the door in the early hours when we were all asleep.

We implemented security features in our home to protect him, door sensors connected to an alarm, door stop alarms and removing/hiding keys. No incidents since.

The only advice I can give is try to put as many preventative steps in place as possible so SS will see you are actively doing as much as possible.

Hi there - I’m a solicitor and I’ve just moved to work for an LA. Your children will not be removed for this… please don’t worry. It no where meets threshold and would not meet the legal test for removal.

However, have you considered contacted SS disabled children service? They could do a “child in need” plan to see if they can offer you any extra support??

Escaping. (Not eloping which is going off to get married on the quiet).

I think if you need advice on how to keep him safe then it was reasonable to call social services. They won't want to remove him, far too much paperwork and cost and you are clearly wanting help.

SS have a very high threshold for removing children and this is no where near that. You are now taking steps to mitigate the escapee too.

I appreciate he may not wear it, but does he have an ID bracelet, like an allergy bracelet, with contact details on it?

Nothing will happen OP

They may ask you if you need any help (but tbh with resources as scare as they are , they certainly don’t go out looking for problems)

It will be fine. But as PP said , if you need help, ask for it ☺️

Does your neighbour have any experience as a social worker or family solicitor? If not, probably best to stop speaking to her about these things as she's not qualified to advise.

Please don’t worry about it leading to your DC being removed. That won’t happen. You could use the opportunity to request a carer’s assessment and an assessment by the children with disabilities team. On their website, Contact has model letters you can use.

Has DS had a home OT assessment? If not, ask for one. In some areas you can self refer. This can look at making the house safer and better meet DS’s needs.

Honestly don’t worry.

Ive worked alongside SS for many years in paediatric health this sort of thing happens all the time.

Youve been honest up front and have taken very sensible steps towards preventing this happening again.

Nobody in their right mind would think of removing children based on the information you’ve given.

So unless there’s a huge backstory you’ve yet to disclose do not get into a spiral about this.

I imagine if they do anything at all it would be similarl to the response previously a phone call and close.

Eloping can mean either running off to get married or just running off.

Please try not to worry about your children being removed as thats really not going to happen....you are doing everything possible to ensure his safety and yoh sound like a brilliant caring mum 😀 As a previous poster mentioned it might be worth asking ss for a child in need plan as they will hopefully be able to offer some practical support

Eloping/elopement is a commonly used term when DC with SEN escape or run/wander off.

I was impatiently waiting for the wedding details.

Oh can it? My apologies then, never heard it in that context, and had to reread the OP 3 times to check it wasn't a vulnerable adult that was being talked about.

Why though? Eloping is already a word with a totally different meaning? Surely escaping/ running off is just more logical to stick to?

Happened to me, my child who is Autistic left the house, police were called by someone who found them, they reported me to SS but they didn’t come out as I explained it was a one off and hadnt happened before, I wouldn’t have called them myself personally over it

You know the marriage meaning, but the other meaning has existed for as long.
They are not escaping because they are not imprisoned.

I really cannot see SS being remotely interested other than to give you advice on how to stop it happening . I would think multiple locks on the doors including a dead bolt at a height he can’t reach although that may be deemed a fire hazard , it’s really a balancing act .

SS will not take your children, they may offer you support and advice on how to ramp up your security measures but that will probably be as far as it goes.

Sympathy OP as DC the same! I don’t think anything will happen so try not to worry. I’m sure you are feeling really awful, it will be the shock. Go easy on yourself.

The last thing social services will want to do is remove your children - it's difficult, expensive and there's a shortage of foster carers.
It's just not going to happen so I wouldn't worry about it.
Even if you begged social services to take your children they wouldn't!

Elope has always meant to run off or escape.

The older use of elope included running away, fleeing, or escaping without authorisation more generally rather than just focusing on weddings.

You have nothing to worry about OP. Your neighbour has no clue.

You've done nothing wrong, try not to worry. Please insist on respite ... its essential.

Your neighbour is being ridiculous. He didn’t escape because he’s neglected, he escaped because he’s an escape artist that needs an incredibly high level of oversight and safety mechanisms in the home. He doesn’t need safeguarding from you, he needs safeguarding from himself, and you likely need some support which hopefully they can provide.