What is likely to happen after calling Social Services for eloping?

[Mirrorsandsmoke]

My son is severely autistic and non verbal. He has always tried to escape since he was 5. We locked all the windows and doors to prevent this happening but unfortunately a few years ago, he managed to open the downstairs window security latch and climb out

He had never tried this before and from what we thought we knew, he couldn't open it but he did and was wandering around in a shop. DH went looking for him and he was with one of the teachers. A report was made to SS and we received a call but they were understanding a closed the case a day later.

I cannot believe I am writing this but it has happened again today. I was hoovering in the kitchen. DS was with me but whilst my back was turned he took the keys out the drawer. I asked him to wait in the living room while I finish up. A couple mins later I started calling for him, when there was no answer I walked out of the kitchen and saw the front door wide open

I grabbed my toddler and ran out but I went the opposite way thinking he has headed for his favourite park. In this time, ds crossed a road and was wandering near the shops. As I ran up I saw him stood with some people and thankfully not hurt, a kind lady walked us back home. She told me the other people had called the police so I went back a few times incase they showed up but no one arrived. I have left my name, address and number.

I called Childrens Services / Social Services to explain what had happened and to ask for advice regarding the eloping and also if there is any respite they can offer. They said they'd have to call me back as no one is available currently. They said they don't know if i'll get a call today or even tomorrow.

I have now ordered a key safe, and bought a camera to detect motion in the front garden. Have also positioned the door sensor lower down now and within reach so I can see what setting it is on, it wasnt on the blaring setting (I thought it was) so I didnt realise the door opened. Dh put it high up to avoid ds taking it off.

I was speaking to my neighbor about what happened and she said it was really silly to call SS and invite trouble. She said as it's happened before they can consider removing both children. I hadn't even thought of this, I just wanted some advice from them and also wanted to let them know as soon as it happened, how it happened etc. These are the questions they asked me before.

Now I am stressing over losing my kids. I really don't want them to think we are neglectful. I was so shaken up and needed to tell them what's happened hoping to get some support. Now I feel I have made a mistake by calling

We have never had SS involvement or any concerns apart from DS eloping a few years ago and now this. What is likely to happen?

Just adding to the chorus to ignore your neighbour.
Based on what you've mentioned, and depending on where you live, and what else you discuss, you might not even be offered any type of family worker / early help worker at all. Or you might, it varies a bit by area. What you have told us is miles from the threshold for removal, that is a statutory legal standard ie the same everywhere. You might get an advisory conversation. You will probably be offered a parenting group specifically for parents of autistic children. I'd suggest you go if you can, there can be some good camaraderie with other parents in similar situations.

And I immediately thought of the Facebook group "people incorrectly correcting people" when I saw you using a perfectly cromulant word.

We fitted an electromagnetic lock on our front door after a few incidents. It had a switch at the top of the doorway that had to be pressed while you opened it using the handle.

Is your ds still a child, op?

Why are people being snide about the wording..honestly, a mum is concerned about SS involvement and people are arguing about which word to use

I wasn't being snide when I raised it.

I only raised it to check I was understanding the OP correctly because I was very confused by the word and wasn't sure I was understanding the situation correctly (or that others wouldn't be similarly confused).

It turns out that apparently in the SEN world this is 'normal' usage.

You asked for help when you needed it, people who do that don’t lose their children.

Your neighbour needs to butt out

They will not think you are neglectful nor remove your children. Are you with Children with Disabilities Team in Children's SS? They should offer you some respite especially during the school holidays

Especially in America.

@Mirrorsandsmoke Former social worker here. Your child is autistic and eloped twice. The only thing SS would do is talk with you and see if they can help you find practical solutions.

Even when there is neglect involved- the first reflex is not to take a child away from his parents! You try to support the family (individually and as a whole). Only if parents reject support/can't change (substance abuse often involved) will the question of placing a child in foster take place.

YOU SEEM LIKE A LOVELY CARING MUM- YOUR NEIGHBOUR DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. PLEASE DON'T WORRY.

To remove your child, they would have to have somewhere to put him where he was safer. They won't have, and then when he elopes they will be partly to blame for placing him in an unsafe placement. If he starts eloping everyday because you are too lazy to try to stop him it might be a different story.... but he isn't doing!

@Mixerfixer it is commonly used in the UK too.

In @TeenToTwenties’s defence, I don’t think she meant her post in a snide way. She has DC with SEN herself and I have never seen her post in an unsupportive way.

they won’t do anything. They don’t have the staff to deal with serious cases let alone a mistake where the child is loved.

Could you have a 'double layer' of doors to get through, with security and alarms on both? Eg a porch. Then he would still have to get through the second door whilst you are responding to the first door alarms. It would give you more time to prevent him disappearing.

Me too Ive never heard of this term being used for this. I say absconding and I work with a lot of children who abscond.

They’re not going to take your kids because your child found the keys and walked down the street. They’ll probably just offer some security advice.

Sending you a hug. You have had a stressful day. SS are not going to remove your child. You have learned from this and are making the changes that you have learned need to be made. You have done nothing wrong. Hopefully ss will offer you some advice, support, and respite. Could I just suggest you use the term escape rather than elope. The majority of people will understand that you are using the wrong term but you may come across a jobworth/Ai that may not.

Keeping keys in a kitchen drawer seems highly risky but I see you’ve bought a key safe, which seems wise, even if a bit late to the game.

If you hadn’t left your name no one official would have a clue this had happened. Police probably won’t ever turn up. I think you panicked totally.

SS won’t care and of course won’t remove your kids, the threshold is waaaaayyyyy higher than 2 escapes in many years.

Good luck with getting any support or respite. I genuinely hope you do, although it seems rarer than unicorns these days.

You did the right thing op as it’ll be a way of recording what is going on ana possibly accessing more help/funding etc. the criteria for removing children is a lot higher than what you report

This is how professionals refer to children escaping/leaving/running off, they call it eloping. OP is using the correct term that professionals will be using with her.

I see posts here semi regularly where people are worried SS will take their kids. There is a very high threshold for this. SS do not go taking kids who wander - this happens all the time with autistic kids. You did the right thing and your neighbour is a fool to scaremonger you like that.

SS won't want to take the children into care. However, if they haven't carried out a care assessment under s17 Children Act 1989 you should ask them to do so. They should be actively looking at ways they can support and help you.

And if you read the whole thread you will see this has already been covered, and I apologised.

For the record, as already mentioned by another kind poster, I have 2 DC with various additional needs. I also have friends with DCs with ASD who were runners when younger. Somehow I managed to get through without ever hearing the term elope used in this way, nor seeing it before on MN.

I was confused, and wanted to clarify. To be honest i thought an auto correct had messed up the post.This is a thread on Chat not SN, I would expect many others would have been equally confused.

Every day is a school day.

Anyway I hope the OP has been reassured.

Please don’t worry. Having SS involved will be very important moving forward for the carrot your child. They won’t take him away at all, but they will start to look at more support for you.

I teach children with autism and all SS involvement I’m aware of is nothing but support, including for those who escape. You absolutely did the right thing. I hope they can start some respite support for him for you all. And anything else that you may need as he grows older.

Next time just google- ‘can eloping be used to mean run off?’ Will get results faster and save face

Knowing the state of social services and the pressures they face i wouldn't even be sure that they will return your call..and they certainly wont remove your children. You are doing all you can to.mitigate the risks . I have several children with additional needs and I am a Foster carer so I do have experience in this stuff. And yes it has happened to me and is truly terrifying so I hope you are OK and not too shaken up.
Just one thought is would he wear a wristband with info on so if it does happen they can call you when he is located ? .