In-laws shared beds with 4 year old DD and used my bedroom while babysitting

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I’ve changed my name because I’ve told a couple of people in real life about this and don’t want the link.

My DH and I have been away for a couple of nights without the kids (9 and 4). His parents looked after the kids the last two nights. We have 3 double bedrooms and then one kid’s bedroom with bunk beds.

We had one of the doubles set up as the spare room that the in laws always sleep in, with the usual fresh bedding etc. The second double has my 9 year old in. The third double is mine and my husband’s bedroom, the bedroom with bunk beds is where my 4 year old sleeps.

On the second night my DH parents (my children’s grandparents) decided that my 4 year old should sleep in the spare room with Grandpa (my FIL). My MIL got into my and DH bed (our bedroom not ready for guests, no clean bedding, things like medication left out).

I’m furious. Partially because I don’t think it’s appropriate for a grandfather to decide to sleep in a bed with his granddaughter who is 4. I’ve asked her whether it was ok. She understands the PANTS rules. She said that grandpa kissed her on the lips.

Secondly my MIL getting into my bed is a massive breach of privacy.

I don’t like my PIL so that may be clouding my judgement, but how they acted isn’t ok, right? What do I (my DH) do?

What?!

ETA that I missed a page and have now seen the explanation. But there are many families for whom a peck on the lips is absolutely normal. Lots of people did it when I was a kid.

I'm a hugger rather than a kisser, and very much don't like lip kisses, but I'll still defend those for whom it's normal, against people who leap to fairly sick interpretations.

Read the thread. We are talking about lips kissing. Which i missed from this post.

Edit for clarification. We are talking about lips kissing thats what I meant! Not just giving your grandchildren a kiss.

Well, if you agree that this happened the way the poster has said, why in God's name have you gone batshit on here?
You say they are a 'huggy' family or whatever, so it doesn't sound completely out of context.
Why didn't you just calmly sit them down and ask them what had happened rather than accusing them of all sorts.
I think you need to find some else to look after your kids whilst you go on your break.

Oldest is 9 ? If this is first time for lip kiss, big alarm, however what have they been like for previous 9 years, lots of older people do kiss kids in a normal way, nothing intended.

When me and my siblings were very young we would kiss our grandfather goodnight on the lips and it would be wet and slobbery. Then we would say yuck and wipe our lips with our hands. I don't think there was anything weird in it though lol. At least that's what I always thought.

Granted my kids have not spent overnight with grandparents but is this normal to ask kids what happened when r if anything happened between them and grandparents? Why did you even leave kids with them at all.

He maybe molested her. They need to go.
Never again. Put boundaries up.

I’m quite laid back and I like my in-laws, but I would go fucking nuclear about this I think.

Lots of boundaries being crossed that I just wouldn’t be ok with.

I have a 4 year old gs and I het the occasional kiss on the lips .

My DS also 4 will stay in bed with my parents but not the whole night - I could see for example if he was ill or really unsettled that this might happen etc - but the fact the mil slept elsewhere is odd imo. They could have left her in your bed asleep alone and then slept in the spare room. The kiss is also a bit odd. I wouldn’t have them overnight again for childcare