How should I handle a client who thinks I’m too posh?

[DickvanDyck]

I've recently been asked to work with a client and had the first meeting.

I thought it went well. He seemed nice, it was pretty unremarkable.

I've now heard via a colleague that he's a bit unsure of working with me. Because I'm "posh". He's not sure I'll be on the same page as him for the planned work.

I really don't know what to do. I need to build a rapport with this man and I want to. This has happened before but the context was different and I was able to handle it in a different way that is not possible in this situation.

My manager is aware and I can't swap account managers (marketing)

I really don't know how to approach this.

Agree with everyone saying don't try to de-posh as it is much worse. If you want to make light of it you can throw a few "Jolly Hockey Sticks!" in and play on it as a way to make meetings upbeat, if that works for your style. I often find when men say this they are not happy being led by a woman, so I would urge caution there as an aside.

Of course, Im baffled by the post you replied to

I dont think I know one person in the UK who is from another country, or even if their parents are and they are born and brought up here, dont have some tinge of accent

Even the renowned Trevor Doughnut who learned his RP from the radio, has a slight Caribbean tinge to his accent.

I didn't say anyone was too posh. I'm assuming she had no choice but to try and impress this person. I'm not saying I agree with what they said about her!

But I she wants to win them over then toning down that side of things could potentially work in her favour. And yes I'd give the same advice to someone told by a client they were 'too working class'. If your career depends on it, tone it down a bit.

But I would not choose to work in a place where I might find myself in such a position.

People can be so weird with this stuff. I was known as posh at school - I lived in a council flat and had free school meals, so appealing to reason was never an option. In your position I would be making really sure my manager had my back, though.

I bet his business is a house of straw. Sorry you have to work worth ignorant spivs.

Can you trust this 'colleague'?
You sure they aren't trying to pinch this client off you by causing an awkwardness between yourselves?

I'd just get in with the job and not listen to such distractors.

You do you OP
Good luck with the project

I think he’s being sexist to be honest

I agree with @littlemisspigg - I’d be looking askance at the third party who handed you this bit of gossip. Are they by any chance in competition with you in some form? Are they male? I’ve had men say things to me designed to undermine my confidence in a way it’s difficult to falsify or challenge when I’ve had a professional success or beaten them in a direct competition. Unfortunately it took me a few years to notice the pattern. If this is a factor, it was designed to reduce your effectiveness by getting you to focus on something irrelevant.

Don’t change a thing. Focus on doing a good job.

Play up to it and have fun.

Bring cucumber sandwiches and elderflower cordial to the next meeting.

The next meeting you have, bring the doughnuts.

She doesn't have to fake cockney! Code sharing is much more subtle than that.

OP said that this is the second time this has happened. So it does seem that her accent is affecting professional relationships and consequently, her career. So learning to soften her accent could well be beneficial. And it's not unusual. It's just that it's people with strong regional accents who find that it's helpful.

I don't do it deliberately, but my accent does change when I'm in different people's company. It's part of our instinctive need to connect with others.

Code switching! But yes, agreed.

Whoops! I really should proof read. Fat fingers and autocorrect!

I thought maybe there was another thing called code sharing where people try to speak like each other.
One thing is for it to happen naturally, it's a totally different matter to 'tell' OP to do it. It doesn't work well that way because she won't be able to keep it up and the client will notice she speaks differently with him than with others.

It’s not the accent that’s got his goat. It’s the fact you’re a woman (and much younger than him I bet!). Signed, Marketing Professional in Male Dominated Industry.