How should I handle a client who thinks I’m too posh?

[DickvanDyck]

I've recently been asked to work with a client and had the first meeting.

I thought it went well. He seemed nice, it was pretty unremarkable.

I've now heard via a colleague that he's a bit unsure of working with me. Because I'm "posh". He's not sure I'll be on the same page as him for the planned work.

I really don't know what to do. I need to build a rapport with this man and I want to. This has happened before but the context was different and I was able to handle it in a different way that is not possible in this situation.

My manager is aware and I can't swap account managers (marketing)

I really don't know how to approach this.

Just another day in dickhead land...

Your manager should ideally manage this. If I was your manager I'd basically have a little chat and say you want a checkin. Stress how incredibly lucky he is to have you.on the account because you are FAN-tastic and i'd like to be sure he's happy / there's no issues.

Oh, a chorus line of tapdancing chimney sweeps will warm the cockles of any client’s heart.😃

Respectfully, I'm clearly not a monoglot or I wouldn't have written my post. I live in an environment where it's normal to speak around five languages. It's NOT usual to speak a language you learnt as an adult like a native. Even actors struggle with different accents and they're trained to do it.

I know class is more nuanced than money but in my inner circle so have some knowledge of circumstances. MIL has the poshest RP accent ever and sounds like the Queen and is on pension credit. Whilst my DS GF Grandad is a multi millionaire business man who has a broad Yorkshire accent.

Just do your job, DH Auntie also with the cut glass accent speaks to people without talking down to them but MIL does sound as if she is speaking down to people.

Don’t change yourself. At all. I doubt he would.

It is odd to have heard this on the grapevine and I would wonder if it is true.
Or if you think it is that it is a way of putting you on the back foot. So game playing.
If someone was telling you rubbish they don’t want you to succeed.
If it comes from him he is trying to make you feel ill at ease.
Office politics !

So just carry on as normal. Just be extra nice and personable. And perfectly pleasant. You have a task to achieve, focus on his part in doing that.
Get to know him as much as business protocol allows. Think of the task.

Lean in to it. Go 10% posher when you next speak. :)
Deliver some outstanding work and when he praises the end result, say, “Not bad for a posh bird, eh?”

It could have been a neutral comment rather than a negative. Just an observation that you have a certain way of speaking.

Buy don’t change who you are based on one second hand comment.

I’d find that very fake, tho. He’s heard her speak and has based his (weird) judgement on that. Changing her accent no would be bizarre and why on earth would she want to present a fake persona?

I’d be very wary of that colleague. It’s only on their say so that you’ve heard this. You had a good meeting with the client, so I would just build on that.

I've had this a couple of times in my life and it is tedious in the extreme. I agree with PP who say if he's a good businessman he'll take you at the quality of your work.

I would focus on the second half of his comment- that he’s concerned you won’t be on the same page for the planned work. Try to understand what’s underneath it- why he thinks you being posh means you won’t be on the same page- and then address that. Do you have examples of previous work that would help? Your aim should be not to make him think you’re less posh but to make him understand that social class is not a barrier to understanding the brief and delivering appropriately targeted work.

Unfortunately, marketing (particularly PR) has a reputation as a career for posh graduates who can’t do anything else (very rare they last more than a couple of years). It’s absolutely unfair to all the good marketing people, but he may have been burnt by it previously, so is wary of it. As soon as he sees your work, he will drop the concerns.

I would mention it….jokingly….

I know I’ll get slated but I work in an industry that is rife with snob value and I think his misgivings are fair tbh.

I regularly see talented working class colleagues overlooked or not brought on because their face or accent doesn’t fit. Conversely I see a lot of people with a background of privilege and all the right signifiers who are useless but can just talk the talk.

Class bias is real and affects far more working class people. If his experience of the ‘useless posh’ is the same as mine, no wonder he’s cautious.

Great sympathy, I have an RP accent and do not have the skills to code-switch so have run into this more times than I care to remember. Luckily, I’m an accountant and therefore the quality of my work is pretty measurable. I accept that working class people can definitely experience worse discrimination but that’s no excuse to label anyone because of their accent.

It’s happened to me too you just have to plow through it and hope they change their perception of you.
Im posh because I use big words (I had barely any friends as a kid and had to fill my free time reading books). Other than that I’m a high school drop out who dropped out at 16 because I had a baby and my mother was a cleaner so I don’t think I actually am “posh” but hey ho

When I read the recommendations to change accents I immediately thought “you’re a sight for sore eyes Mary Poppins”. 60 years later it is still a meme.

Don’t try it OP. Just do your job to your usual high standards

And this bias is the OP’s fault because…

Your new client has concerns that you two either won't get on, or that you won't understand his business. Is he potentially handing over loads of money to you? If you want to keep him he needs reassurance fast that you understand his business, how to sell it and that you are a delight to work with. Pleading ignorance of why he may have concerns doesn't make you look good.

How do you know someone’s from a background of privilege because of their voice and face?

I talk “posh” grew up reading loads of books because I didn’t have many friends and had nothing else to do apparently using big words makes me posh I’ve been told.

But my mother was a cleaner and I’m high school dropout who had a baby at 16 so as you can imagine I’m not made of money.

Ive been called posh by people who have a lot more money than me funnily enough, having a “posh” accent is definitely a hindrance tbh

If I pretty much have to get along with him for the sake of my career then I'd consider using a slightly more estuary or regional accent? And maybe bring up something about your background that's not posh. Like that you went to comp, or if people in your family had more traditionally working class jobs. If it seems to fit well enough into the conversation obviously.

You don’t have to do anything or handle the situation; you’re not the one with the problem. Show up, do excellent work, and treat him with respect. Oh, and cover your arse by making notes of every meeting and every interaction just in case he has a chip on his shoulder.

Have you considered the language you used and any topics you discussed? Some people like to pretend that the class system is a made up concept and there is no such thing as class consciousness but there really is and it can make some people feel intimidated/stupid/embarassed. You shouldn't change yourself, but you could try to use more basic vocabulary and stick to conversations and references that aren't typical middle/upper class

Theres nothing you can do. Who cares what he thinks. You're not in social care or therapy with him (and even if you were your background is irrelevant also)

He'll either work with you or he wont. If he doesnt, so be it, he'll pull out and another customer will be along. You've raised his comments with your manager, whats the solution? There isnt one.

Dont be ridiculous. Would you dare say that the other way round, would someone day say 'I think this person is too working class/common'

So the advice is to posh yourself up a bit?

OP just needs to do the job they're paid to do, thats it.

I grew up in south London, not sarf London. I can’t change my accent. I can mimic quite well, but that’s different.