How do we ACTUALLY solve the rift between dog people and non-dog people?

[Talkingtomyhouseplants]

Inspired by yet another dog thread where all the SAME arguments are trotted out again and again:

The Pro Dog People say:

• The dog is my family, you need to treat it like family
• Why would I get a dog just to leave it at home?
• It’s just a dog, it’s not bothering anyone
• My dog is less annoying than your child
• I love my dog more than I love people
• The dogs are ALLOWED to be there so it’s okay that I bring them places
• If my dog isn’t invited, I would probably choose to stay home as I prefer most dogs to people anyway
• My house is my dog’s home too, I won’t be shutting it away for anyone
• My dog isn’t dangerous - he’s a bit softy.

The Anti Dog People Say

• I’m allergic/scared/don’t like being around them - please keep them away from me
• It’s a pet, not your family
• A dog is not a child
• I won’t have dogs in my house
• Dogs are dirty and unhygienic - they shouldn’t be in shops or places where you eat
• I’m sick of dogs barking and jumping up at me in public and I keep stepping in dog poo
• There are too many places that either actively allow dogs, or more often don’t challenge people who bring them anyway so dogs eventually become allowed
• Dog owners are entitled and pushy and this is why they are now suddenly everywhere
• It’s dangerous to have dogs around children
• Dogs can bite/kill people
• There are too many untrained dogs who are treated like people

Same arguments on both sides, every time.

In my personal life I can think of at least two situations where these opposing views are creating real rifts in families because the dog person wants to bring a dog, and the non-dog person doesn’t want to be around said dog. I can feel it becoming more polarising in society generally, anti dog people are more vocal about being anti dog and pro dog people are more pushy about full inclusion of dogs in human spaces.

So what is the actual solution?

um this made me laugh! you summed it up nicely!

Saying "and that's the end of it" doesn't make that true.

Keep your dog under control, on a leash and muzzled if nessesary. Assume no one wants your dog in their garden, car or house or shop. What else is needed?

Unless you're in the dog's home, where the default position is dog, and if you don't like dogs, you don't have to visit.

I grew up with dogs, am currently considering getting a dog again.

I can't be doing with dogs in cafes, shops etc. and think a lot of owners are actually treating their dogs very badly. I see stressed, unhappy, reactive and badly trained dogs everywhere.

Exactly like us.

As a non dog owner, I literally don't have any view on them. I'd prefer dogs to be on leads rather than come and jump up at me, but I just keep hands in my pockets.

If DD ends up (as an adult) getting a dog then I will deal with that.

I am allergic to them, but just take inhalers everywhere.

Edit: I think by the time a dog needs to be fitted with wheels it should be let go.

I like dogs and grew up having them but DH and DDs aren't keen. The issue is there are now very few non-dog friendly places. My default would be that dogs should always be on a short lead in public and they shouldn't be inside cafés and other establishments serving food.

Yesterday I went shopping and there were a fair few dogs in John Lewis. I was then browsing for a new mascara in Sephora and someone's daschund came over and licked my leg. If DD2 had been with me she would have freaked out.

It is tiresome when there's almost nowhere you can go that doesn't allow dogs and when there are so many terrible owners with badly behaved dogs.... particularly since Covid when everyone and their uncle appeared to decide to get a puppy.

I was brought up with dogs, have always loved them BUT I think the balance has gone wonky.

Dogs should not be allowed in cafes or anywhere similar. Leave your furry friend at home FFS! Ditto, I hate dog friendly pubs... our local on a Friday night is rammed for a couple of hours and you are dicing with death trying to get to the bar or the loos, with dog leads and massive hounds tripping you up.

Also train and restrain your dog. We have had experience of two dogs in our road both of which I call 'hooligan dogs'. One lunged at an elderly neighbour and he had to go to hospital and be treated for a bite on his arm. I have a precious little grandchild, and the latest hooligan dog although on a lead, lunged at her face whilst she was sat in the buggy, it was so frightening. I don't care the dog is young, a puppy, boisterous, whatever... just control your hooligan dog.

Im a cat person and have two cats. I have a lot of visits from family and friends who have dogs.
It really isnt a problem.
Ive had the house divided in two so dogs and my cats dont mix. This used to be open plan stairs and didn't cost much yo put a plasterboard wall up and a door.
The dogs stay downstairs and have access to the garden as it has a tall fence all the way round so they cant get out.
I cant inderstand what the fuss is all about.
Id much rather see my doggie relatives and friends than not see them.
They all live a long way away so cant leave the dogs at home.

As a none dog lover ( but not a hater) there's a third list of owners who are more 'traditional' - see the dog as an animal and leave it at home whilst they go about their lives and aren't defensive if someone isn't keen on dogs. I.e are not bat shit crazy re the dog. Just a thought.

By accepting certain elements and also trying to be flexible about certain elements.
For example-
I do NOT have to have anyone’s dog in my own home. No matter how much you love it or how well trained you think it is. It is my house and I get to choose. Owners need to accept this with good grace.
All dogs should be trained properly so they don’t jump up at strangers etc
All owners should pick up their poop.
On the other hand -
I need to accept well behaved dogs in various public places ( that I don’t really approve of, like food establishments)
I have to accept that some friends might not come to my house if they can’t bring their dog and that in their own home the dog is the priority over me.

So what is the actual solution

not to give a shiny dog-turd either way. Way too much investment of energy, OP!

In general I’m an anti dog person in public.

(I know my user name suggests otherwise, but next doors dog was barking away at the time of making a name up - fitting I suppose!)

I usually manage just to ignore.

however two days ago I was on the beautiful sir Walter Scott paddle boat on lake Katherine. Couple next to me had the wonderful idea that their dog would love a boat ride 🙄🙄
dog was absolutely scared out of its mind, howled , barked, tried to jump overboard, and it cumulated in a massive explosion of watery shite sprayed over the deck .
smell was horrendous, couple couldn’t clean it up as mainly water , eventually the captain came with a bucket of water and swilled it across deck.

they never bothered to apologise and while I didn’t let it ruin my trip , it was certainly 15 minutes of hell. Not really any other seats to move to either .

the world has gone mad over dogs !

I think the issue now is that there are so many dogs, and they're everywhere. In the past, that never seemed to be the case, and I do wonder why you'd take your dog into Clark's shoe shopping, or allow it to lie on the couch at Starbucks.
Anyway, like most non dog owners, I generally don't have a problem, but I do dislike it when dogs jump up on me. Some owners are very polite and apologise, but some just must think it's ok.

Being chased on my bike and bitten.
Being told in a duh sort of way that if I stopped running their dog wouldn’t think I wanted to play.
Having my running clothes snagged by dogs jumping up.
Having to retrace my route to escort off-lead dog back to owners.
These are over a period of years and the vast majority of dog owners are good, but none of these are exaggerated.

Most allergies of dogs can be treated with antihistamines if you know you're going to a dog friendly place. That's what's my friend does. Or the allergic person can choose from the vast array of places that are not dog friendly. Most people aren't severely allergic. My friend is allergic to nuts and dairy. Should she expect every place she enters to be entirely nut and dairy free?

As for the family situation- like I said people need to tolerate things they don't like all the time. It's really that simple and that's how society works. I hate men with their tops off in the summer and I hate tourists in my town but I have to put up with it. Tolerance coupled with dog owners ensuring their dog is well behaved is the solution.

As for hygiene, service dogs were always allowed in most places so... I don't see how a dog being in a cafe is any different to a dog being in someone's house where they eat. Let's face it many humans are pretty unhygienic themselves. I've lost count of how many times I've seen people not wash their hands in a public loo or people sneezing or coughing all over a cafe.

I'm this type. This is probably why I find the us/them funny. Why is everything always so dramatic on this site?

My dog is family TO ME. I don’t expect her to be family to anybody else. I will take her places she’s allowed and I don’t take her places she isn’t, or complain that there are places she isn’t allowed. In turn, non-dog people need to accept that if dogs are allowed in places than that’s fine too, and they’re welcome to go elsewhere.

My dog is family TO ME. I don’t expect her to be family to anybody else. I will take her places she’s allowed and I don’t take her places she isn’t, or complain that there are places she isn’t allowed. In turn, non-dog people need to accept that if dogs are allowed in places than that’s fine too, and they’re welcome to go elsewhere.

As with everything in life compromise is needed. We have a dog and we love her to bits. We don't bring her everywhere and we certainly dont foist her on to dog free people. If that means we sometimes miss family or social occasions that would mean the dog would be left alone for too long so be it, we understood that when we adopted her.

I like dogs but being factually accurate, dogs are dirty. They shit on pavements, lick each others’s bums, drool and shed hair. But most people are chilled about them as long as they are
a) on a lead or properly trained and under control, or both.
b) not in restaurants or anywhere near food
c) not in toddler playgrounds - health risk.

So it’s simple, stick to those rules and the vast majority of people will be happy.

If you want to take them into someone’s house, garden or car, ask first.

Obvious exceptions for genuine assistance dogs.

Seems pretty straightforward to me.

I don't mind dogs, would even consider getting one in retirement but I wouldn't take a dog everywhere with me, I don't think dogs actually like shopping for a start. I think the problem has become success people started taking dogs everywhere, that never used to be the case, dogs were at home, in parks, out for walks etc not in waitrose. I think it started in lockdown when loads of people got puppies without fully considering that life might go back to normal and they were either not willing or prepared for the restrictions of dog ownership, so just try to tack a dog on to day to day life. This became more common and now it's considered by a fair number to be acceptable. There are places where children shouldn't be too.

On occasion, I have. But why should I? Do you pick up other peoples’ litter? Again, I often do that (in the form of beach cleans in particular). But why should we?

Service dogs aren't magically any cleaner.

Plenty of kids and adults are pretty minging too.