How do we ACTUALLY solve the rift between dog people and non-dog people?

[Talkingtomyhouseplants]

Inspired by yet another dog thread where all the SAME arguments are trotted out again and again:

The Pro Dog People say:

• The dog is my family, you need to treat it like family
• Why would I get a dog just to leave it at home?
• It’s just a dog, it’s not bothering anyone
• My dog is less annoying than your child
• I love my dog more than I love people
• The dogs are ALLOWED to be there so it’s okay that I bring them places
• If my dog isn’t invited, I would probably choose to stay home as I prefer most dogs to people anyway
• My house is my dog’s home too, I won’t be shutting it away for anyone
• My dog isn’t dangerous - he’s a bit softy.

The Anti Dog People Say

• I’m allergic/scared/don’t like being around them - please keep them away from me
• It’s a pet, not your family
• A dog is not a child
• I won’t have dogs in my house
• Dogs are dirty and unhygienic - they shouldn’t be in shops or places where you eat
• I’m sick of dogs barking and jumping up at me in public and I keep stepping in dog poo
• There are too many places that either actively allow dogs, or more often don’t challenge people who bring them anyway so dogs eventually become allowed
• Dog owners are entitled and pushy and this is why they are now suddenly everywhere
• It’s dangerous to have dogs around children
• Dogs can bite/kill people
• There are too many untrained dogs who are treated like people

Same arguments on both sides, every time.

In my personal life I can think of at least two situations where these opposing views are creating real rifts in families because the dog person wants to bring a dog, and the non-dog person doesn’t want to be around said dog. I can feel it becoming more polarising in society generally, anti dog people are more vocal about being anti dog and pro dog people are more pushy about full inclusion of dogs in human spaces.

So what is the actual solution?

Apologies, I mistakenly thought that quote was for me.

I’m a dog owner. I do not impose my dog on others. We use a lead outside of the garden. We sometimes put her away when other people are in our home because we can’t always properly supervise (this will decrease as she gets older and better trained but never go away).

We teach our dog that not everyone in the world exists to lavish her with attention, despite her desire to meet every single person she sees. She has to settle for love from her immediate family and people who choose to engage with her.

yup.

No worries.

My rescue was really badly abused by his previous owners. He’s come on leaps and bounds since we got him. Unfortunately some of the damage inflicted on him by humans is proving difficult to train out of him. Some situations still scare him. Most of the time he’s a funny, happy chap but I’m sure if you saw him a lot there’d be a couple of times you’d judge him as being unhappy. Just never know what some owners and their dogs are going through I guess.

My dog was my family. You do not get to tell other people who or what they consider family. It is nothing to do with you, and causes you no harm whatsoever.
It is actually quite hurtful. Some people only have their dogs.

just in passing

How do you know which litter was left by a teenager out of interest? I see plenty of people over 20 dropping litter and it doesn't look different to that dropped by teens.

by your definition, adopted children are not part of the family....inlaws are not part of the family.....even your partner is not part of the family.
I prefer my definition of family.

Some people have really close friends that they consider family too.
I just don't think it right that someone can tell a stranger who or what their family is or is not. It has nothing to do with them.

My child is human and will hopefully be a functioning and contributing member of society when older. We pay taxes to educate my child and keep them healthy.
The two are not at all comparable.
Also people aren't allergic to humans, over the age of about 3 they toilet themselves, they will grow into someone who can get their own food.

I posted a while back about someone who brings her dog to choir. I love choir, but don't like the dog, or dogs in general (well, ok, I like small clean well behaved terriers as long as I can give them back. This dog is not one of them).

Working dogs are helpful to human society and I can see why we have bred dogs to do that but they are not part of society in the way children are.

It wouldn’t care if you were drowning,

You really don't understand dogs in the slightest if you believe this.

totally agree

none of that means that a dog can't be considered to be a family member

You have basically proven the previous poster's point and made it into a competition.
What is the point in comparing dogs and humans? This thread is not about that. It just feels a bit sneery. Like you are looking down on dog owners for not having a future tax payer.

This is exactly what I mean - it can’t be resolved can it?

Dog people insist that dogs are family members, “whos” not “whats”. Non dog people maintain it is just an animal and should be treated as such.

You can’t square the circle - the dog people are always going to want the non dog people to view their pet as family, the non dog people are always going to want to scream THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES ON

It's got to be about respect for other people.

Years ago, my Uncle came for Christmas and his partner brought her dog, after being specifically asked not to. The dog couldn't come in the house as one of my cats doesn't like dogs. The dog couldn't stay in the car. There aren't any pet friendly hotels locally. They ended up having to make the 6 hour journey home, all because they decided their dog was welcome. Unfortunately for them, my cats took priority over their dog.

I have expected them to arrange care for the dog, rather than just rocking up.

I think no one has the right to tell someone else who is their family. It is none of their business. That is nothing to do with dogs at all. It is about sneery people thinking their opinion on the family structure of other people is their business.
Someone saying their dog is family has zero impact on other people.

If they could not get care for the dog then you would have to expect them to not visit in future.
Neither of you are wrong. I would have not taken my greyhound to a house that had cats. That would have ended badly.

Thank you for proving my point.

But I think some of the posts suggest that it does impact other people and that’s sort of the problem. I don’t think anyone cases if you want to view your dog as family, it’s the expectation that others will share that view and accommodate a dog in the same way you would a person that causes a lot of the problems

Non dog people should chillax

I don't think most dog people expect other people to see their dog as family, it's more than they want other people to respect that they view their dog as important. I adore my dog and see her as family.... and that seems to annoy a lot of non-dog people which makes no sense to me.

Before anyone jumps on me - I wouldn't take my dog to someone else's house if they didn't want her there.

That is nothing to do with seeing a dog as family, and all to do with people not communicating properly.
I would have always asked if my dog was welcome somewhere. If not, then I either had to arrange care or not go.

Owning a dog would help them do that.

Exactly! It's ridiculous. What has being a future tax payer got to do with anything?! Do we prioritise the clever kids because they are likely to end up paying more tax than the less clever ones?! 🤣