My boy died on Wednesday. He was 18. Is anyone around? I can’t sleep.

[SecurityLight]

He was autistic and troubled, he lived in supported accommodation. They found him on Wednesday morning, sitting on his bedroom floor. No one knows exactly when he died or how. He was alive at 01:13. He was dead at 10:30.
He had 3 younger siblings - all young teens living at home with me. I have to stay strong for them and I don’t know how I’m going to do it.

So sorry OP and all the posters who have experienced this horror.

Please take any help offered OP. And remember you can keep posting here, we are here for you. Whether it's little memories of better days or complaints about when times were hard. There is no judgement here, you can post whatever you feel and think and hopefully it will lighten your load even just a tiny bit.

I’m so sorry. Much strength to you and your family at this very difficult time.

Haha one of my favourites from my childhood. My dd didn't like it.

Take things 1 minute at a time. Your emotions are gonna be a whirlpool.

Feel free to dm me x

The coroners assistant called him ‘your late son’
This feels all sorts of wrong.

I am so, so, sorry.

I am so very sorry for your loss. This is not in any way your fault. Parents don’t blame themselves because there is fault, but because they would have given anything and everything for this not to have happened. You are his mum, you have lived and cherished him his whole life, and I am sure he knew that. Thinking of you and your family.

Sending a handhold.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

How heartbreaking, I’m so sorry, life is so very cruel.
your last sentence is so true. I always say when I had my boys my heart forever lives in them, the world being dimmed if they weren’t here is such a prophetic and powerful statement, and perfectly reflects the love you have for a child.

I’m so so sorry - I can’t imagine a greater pain than losing a child. My love to you and everyone on this thread who has experienced this.

I am so sorry for your loss . My daughter passed suddenly aged 26. The first year id a blur.

Coroners office are very helpful. The inquest was a long wait 10 months .

Take each day one at a time .

There is a very supportive Facebook group for Grieving mothers who support each other Who have all
lost a child or children

Take care

I'm so desperately sorry. How appallingly awful for you. Do you have a partner?

You are going to encounter a great deal of unintentional ignorance like this. It doesn’t make it easier. But the immense kindness of others will hopefully help balance out the awkward and thoughtless comments.

@scarletthollie5 I’m so sorry for your loss 💔

Do you know the name of the Facebook group pls?

Oh I know - I don’t blame anyone for anything they say really - I know how hard it is to find words for someone who is grieving.

I think honestly that I’m still in denial - I don’t really believe any of this is real in my heart - it all feels fake, I feel like I’m play acting, I feel like my son is going to call me up and say what on earth are you doing I’m right here. Even though I know he won’t.

I’m really sorry for your loss.

Please do contact Cruse Bereavement if at any point you feel you would like some support, someone to listen to you express how you are feeling and talk about your son.

You are not alone 💐

Oh God, bless your heart. I'm so, so sorry. What a horrible shock. I wish I could say something to help you, but I can't. I just wish you lots of strength and love at this dreadful time. I hope you have a lot of real life support 💐

I'm so very sorry.

Thank you. The group is Grieving Mother’s UK
Do take care if yourself 💔

I've been playing the words "your late son" in my head and unless I have misunderstood you @SecurityLight (in which case many apologies), I think that perhaps you didn't experience that as a wrongful or thoughtless form of words, just as an acknowledgement of a new status for your son that you are only just beginning to get your head around? Very difficult, and very early to be beginning to do this, but perhaps an instance of disorientation that is unavoidable (and which may in some sense even be helpful as a way of just beginning to process things?)

I don't think anyone used this phrase to me, in relation to my own son, but actually I quite like it. It is a way of referring to him as a continuing presence, but with a distinctive status. When people ask me how many children I have, I give the correct number - i.e. I include the son who died, because how could I not? And then there may be follow up questions, and that is awkward because I don't want to accidentally hijack people with something that is hard to deal with in a smalltalk context. I want to be able to say that he died and for it to be folded into the conversation smoothly, just as it would be if I said, of his brother, that he was living abroad. Somehow, the "late" formulation, although so quaint and old-fashioned, feels helpful in this respect, because it gives voice to a continuing existence. I don't mean any continuation in the afterlife. I just mean: the person is still your son; you are still his mother; your other children are still his brothers and sisters. xx

I'm so sorry for your loss. You must be in shock so go easy on yourself over the next few days... if you can't eat, keep drinking and I highly recommend taking a soluble vitamin C tablet over the coming weeks as your immune system won't know what's hit it. I lost my only son at birth, and the journey was a tough one - but there is a life the other side of this. Albeit a different one, but a life non the less.

Take care of yourself

One of the strangest parts of early stages grief (for me) was the change of tenses - ‘he was’ rather than ‘he is’. It’s such a small, seemingly inconsequential thing but it’s very hard to get your head around. How can someone be so present, so alive one moment and then, just not.

I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you will soon get some answers.

It's only just happened and was completely unexpected. I still think of speaking to my mum about stuff and she died 3 years ago after a 6 month illness. It will take a long time for you to work through this.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

This is exactly it. I’m not yet ready to think of him as late. It wasn’t bad of them to say it, it just sounds so wrong in my ears.

Yes, this 💔