Did you ever get weird vibes from someone and couldn’t explain why?

[Queequeck]

I probably sound totally insane, but I’m hoping that there are others like me so I don’t feel like a total freak.
I have one colleague in my team direct team who somehow gives me the creeps. He hasn’t done anything specific, or made crude comments, or anything but I just can’t help feeling that something is off. I know that this sounds mad because I can’t even explain why, and this is driving me nuts.
It really got to me today and it made me wonder if there is something wrong with me or if other people get these vibes too and if they ever found out what caused their reactions.
I passively commented on it today to someone and I feel like I’ve made a big mistake because I can’t even explain my reasoning and I should have kept my mouth shut but what’s done is done.

Oh goodness, I wonder if we are neighbours. There's an 8 year old boy (L) who many of us are scared of locally and there's something very off. It's madness as adults, but we turn the opposite direction if we see him on the park when out with the dogs, and have felt guilty for saying it about a child but I think he'll be on the news one day.

Yes! Going back some years I started off working in a hair salon, was unisex and we had one particular guy come in regularly for his haircut, he had longish hair so has the full works. As I was a junior I was always shampooing and offering the refreshments. He was never rude or aggressive but I just got the worst vibes from it like I was to stay far away as possible.

fast forward around a year and half I was reading by our local chronicle paper and his mugshot was on the front page. He has killed an old lady by setting fire to her bed in the home where he worked. He was jailed for life.

just thinking back and I touched him makes me feel sick.

I'm really sensitive to 'vibes' in general and subtle changes in people's body language and expressions, especially people's eyes. I can sense a shift in the atmosphere before most and know when a fight is going to break out or how someone feels about someone who just walked into the room.
Sometimes I meet people and I just get a 'blank' feeling off them, like there is nothing there and I'm staring into a black abyss. These are always the people that turn out to be dangerous in some way. Often women surprisingly! There is a deadness behind their eyes. I couldn't get a read off a teacher that everyone told me was nice. Much as I tried to like her I couldn't warm to her at all. Once, I got this horrible feeling that there was serious danger behind me, I turned around and she was standing there! Needless to say, a couple of weeks after that I realised all my instincts were correct. She was really horrible to some of the kids and just had zero true empathy. It was like she was doing an impression of what it was like to be human. That's a recent example.
It's a handy skill sometimes but it is absolutely exhausting and hard to switch off. The only way to take a break is to physically not be around people. Has anyone else felt they were staring into a black abyss when looking at someone? Such a strange and disconcerting feeling.

yes, there are people who I would just dislike, but have been proven wrong; but there are particular people, always male that make my skin crawl or even whilst they may appear friendly, I can't stand for more than a moment.

Someone mentioned "dog senses". Our old German Shepherd never so much as growled in his life except for one time when we were having work done at home and he had his hackles up at one of the workers. The guy had to go around the side to avoid coming near him . I had to say "sorry, my dog doesn't like you" .

Trust your instinct. Don’t talk yourself out of it.

I said to a friend the other day that I think my super power is reading people. Not in a judgy way.

I’ve had a bad feeling about some people in the past, and it’s so frustrating when everyone else around you loves them. There was a mutual friend who I just found odd, but she was nice, enough, but odd. I decided to use her services a few years later and was screwed over. A friend of mine that met her, also told me she had strange vibes from her. But it’s very difficult when everything on the outside doesn’t match the feeling of repulse you feel.

I have also met a few people and have been filled with sadness. There was a pastors wife who I would walk past and I just felt sadness for her even though she looked amazing and well put together. Years later her husband was accused of sexual assault and forcing himself on others - and guess what - I always had a bad vibe about him, but people tend to love him.

I wonder if we are empaths …

Sadly, no :(

I shared an office with, sat opposite and no more than five feet away from the same man for 3 years. Really nice guy: around 15 years older than me, chilled, played guitar in a band in his free time, married, no kids. Just a lovely friendly guy and his age + experience made him so mellow and calm. We’d have lunch together in the canteen once in a while, fag breaks together at least once a day. I ultimately got promoted and moved to a different office. Didn’t keep in touch as it was a normal thing to happen and we weren’t close. Just happened to know each other through physical proximity.

15 or so years later saw his face and read his name in the Daily Mail. 15 years behind bars for historic child sexual abuse charges - same girl, not even a teen when it started, which was when I knew him. She took a while to go to the police but clearly had enough evidence to get him convicted. I puked when I read the piece and thinking about it again now is making my stomach turn a bit. Mostly because how horrific his crimes were, but also about how I had no clue and was so fucking blind, so naive. I had no radar at all. The poor, poor girl. He was so “nice”, she was so young, she wouldn’t have stood a chance. God so awful.

I usually get this from over friendly strangers. Its happened a few times when out socialising. They tend to switch and end up in fights.

I get the creeps with Bil. who everyone else loves. He turned out to be a liar and a thief.

Our ddog, the most happy and laid back girl on the planet turned into a growling snarling hound one night when we went to collect dh from the train station. At first I wondered what was wrong then followed her eyes as the kept a close eye on one particular person. She calmed down as soon as this guy turned a corner

I was ready for the snarling the next day but never saw this guy again for about 3 weeks and then ddog started growling and I searched the crowd emerging from the trains station and there he was again.

Must admit he did look creepy.

D dog was the kindest sweetest girl you could imagine. But I swear if we were not in the car she’s would have ripped him to shreds such was her hatred for this random person

Never did see him again

No, it was a Mr L

People that believe in all things woo, not me mind you, might say your "instinct" is your subconscious reacting to him from a past life interaction and that you should trust your gut.
I mean, those that believe that sort of thing would say that. 🤔

What area of the country? I knew an RE teacher with that initial, taught at an high school and lots of people thought he was great but my friend who worked there always felt uncomfortable with him and wasn’t sorry when he left.

We've got someone at work who everyone thinks is a “legend”. He’s not. I remember the affair he had and how he treated his then wife and I hear what he says about his new partner (the OW). But there is something very off about him. Very false.

I think so much of our perception and understanding of people is non-verbal, it’s absolutely worth listening to your intuition. Sometimes it’s almost like there is an aura or a scent that we can’t put our finger on, but it puts us on alert. It’s better to be safe than sorry, so I would be very careful around this person.

Yes, a doctor. Really odd behaviour, overly friendly and touchy without making eye contact at all, very shifty, as if awaiting my reaction to their behaviour. He was also obviously procrastinating. Its hard to describe but it felt so off and I'm not the suspicious type at all. It was my child's appointment and I just ended up speaking loudly and directly at him in quite a brash way (totally unlike me) as he put me on edge. He finished the appointment quickly after that and I've never booked him again.

I had to take 13 year old autistic DS to a paediatric growth specialist as he was very short for his age. The man was incredibly tall, almost grey skinned, and gave a small smile when DS expressed his distress at how short he was, which seemed cruel and creepy to me. The doctor then told DS to come through to a separate examining room and undress. I followed them. The doctor said, 'Parents don't usually come in for this examination.' I said to DS, 'I'm coming in. I won't watch, if you feel shy about being undressed, but I'll hold your hand and if anything makes you feel uncomfortable, squeeze my hand.'

The doctor was very annoyed that I refused to be left outside while he examined my naked pubescent child. He may have just been one of those arrogant medics who expects everyone to do exactly as he commands, but I felt there was something off about him.

When DC were young, we lived overseas for DH's work (think military base) in a small housing cluster of about 6 houses. We knew the other families/couples well and there were always people coming and going (gardeners, drivers, maintenance staff) and there were always 2 guards on duty. Everyone was lovely and kind, especially with the kids.

One day, a maintenance team of 2 women and 1 man came to test the water cleanliness, they had to take samples from each house. When the man came near me, my whole body just went rigid and felt like I was turning to stone. He was smiling and chatting with my young DC who was standing near me, but I remember feeling sheer disgust at his presence. His female colleagues were absolutely fine.

After they left, I told DH about the man and said that under no circumstances was he to be unsupervised ever on the estate. The same team came back 3 or 4 times over the course of the year, and every time I felt dreadful and disgust at this man, and made sure DC were inside away from him.

The last time they came, it was just the women. I didn't want to I ask about the man, but I always got the feeling that they recognised and understood my intense dislike of him.

I still can't explain what it was: he was chatty and friendly, but it felt like a warning siren was blaring in my body when he was there.

I don't think you've ever experienced it if you say that. In my case, I was sitting next to the person and was too frightened to look at them. So there was no opportunity to pick up on any micro signals. There was also someone up thread who felt it when the person was behind them and they hadn't yet turned round to know who it was. It's something more than reading micro signals and imo shouldn't ever be ignored or treated 'with an open mind'. It's more than finding someone creepy.

I will say I do sympathise with autistic people (I know a lot of autistic people!) as their differences can mark them out as a bit odd. That's definitely a time to have an open mind but not with the visceral fear that I felt with that man in the restaurant.

A friend refused to deal with a guy through work, after she’d had to meet him to show him round a house and he’d given her the absolute creeps. Later convicted of 3 rapes.

gut who once turned up at our allotments delivering something , he was just on the surface perfectly fine, but this air of complete menace, really disturbing….id always felt safe up there on my own but he really scared me.

on the other hand, a friends husband was convicted of historical sex abuse…completely out of the blue…no idea at all.

There was a similar thread a few years ago where many people shared stories of when their gut had warned them about someone and it turned out to be right. I have remembered that and I listen to my gut. There’s a man in our small town that my DH knows through the local music community who I feel sure is a misogynist and is or would be a sexual predator. My DH dismisses my sense but I am adamant that guy is dangerous.

Very sadly (worse than sad), I was a teacher for 14 years and know of 5 male colleagues from over the years that were convicted of sexual abuse, grooming or possessing SA images. Only one did my senses pick up on, and he was an overt sleaze towards me personally. It frightens me that if 5 were convicted, that’s surely the tip of the iceberg and many more abusers went undetected. It’s even more scary who our gut misses than who it catches I guess.

Yes a few times and it’s always been men except one woman. That woman was a colleague but in another dept so I rarely saw her. A colleague and friend of mine, we both felt the same, she made my skin crawl.

I did find out later that the man who made me feel so repulsed it was like a nausea had been locked up in a secure psychiatric unit for attempting to dismember someone while they were still alive.

One of the oddest was a friend of mine and I had gone for our usual Sunday morning walk along the canal walking her dog. A teenager passed us, nothing of note to look, nor odd looking or anything but my God we both turned to each other overwhelmed. We both felt quite panicky and sick. He had the presence of evil around him. My friend is the most level headed human, just totally practical you could ever meet. I’m cut from a similar cloth.

Yes, I would trust your instincts always.

My deceased nan despised a well known celebrity who was later found out to be a prolific paedophile.

I strongly recommend you read the gift of fear. It is an excellent book.

In my opinion everyone feels a vibe from people we encounter - that’s why we gravitate to some and not others. What you feel is personal to you.

Don’t share with colleagues OP.

Used to know an older man who lived near me. There was something odd about him. I couldn't work out what. Turns out he got arrested and convicted (he has a rare name so I knew when I saw the name it was him) of child sexual abuse