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BIL using our bedroom for intimate purposes

481 replies

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 16:58

We arrived home from holiday last night. BIL has kindly been cat-sitting for us, popping in twice a day, but not sleeping here overnight. This is important.

This afternoon, I've been sorting out a few things in our room. The sun was shining in, and as it hit the mirror I could clearly see strange marks - handprints, quite high up, and what I think is a willy mark at hip height. They are quite noticeable, so I'm sure they weren't here before we went away.

I suspect BIL has been entertaining himself in our bedroom, either alone or with a partner. He's single and the thought of him bringing a hook-up into our bedroom makes me feel ill.

I've changed the sheets (just in case his activities culminated in our bed), but I don't know if I can bear the thought of him cat-sitting for us again if he does this. But DH will think it's strange if we don't have him back, and DCat has never been to a cattery.

Is there a way I can subtley dissuade him from using our home in this way, without offending him?

I've added photos, but they aren't very good because my phone doesn't seem to focus on the mirror surface.

BIL using our bedroom for intimate purposes
BIL using our bedroom for intimate purposes
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BIL using our bedroom for intimate purposes
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7
Shortcutsgalore · 03/08/2026 20:41

Well that's enough Mumsnet for me today!

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 03/08/2026 20:44

Put a lock on your bedroom door.

SarcySue · 03/08/2026 20:48

A Ring camera indeed…

amber763 · 03/08/2026 20:50

I know its not the point and sorry OP if it really is a willy mark, but this entire thread has really made me laugh. Just us mums and professional women talking about whether we think its a willy mark on the mirror. 😂😂😂

KeepPumping · 03/08/2026 20:52

SarcySue · 03/08/2026 20:48

A Ring camera indeed…

Not sure the RSPCA would approve of that.

cloudtreecarpet · 03/08/2026 20:56

SarcySue · 03/08/2026 20:48

A Ring camera indeed…

😂😂

SeaToSki · 03/08/2026 21:01

Im Just not entirely sure i see willy…the two hand prints yes, although the thumbs are strangely akimbo

could the third smeary print be a ladies ‘juicy bits’? It would account for some of the fuzziness. 🧐

Lifeomars · 03/08/2026 21:02

KeepPumping · 03/08/2026 18:42

Maybe he was watching Silence of The Lambs?

😂😂😂Hope the cat isn't called Precious

LittleGreenShoots · 03/08/2026 21:02

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 20:13

This is what I'm leaning towards. Whether I ask DH or BIL, they'll never admit to it (unless there really is an innocent explanation) and it will just cause awkwardness. I do still want BIL to cat sit because DCat likes him and is much happier staying in our house than going to a cattery, I'm sure. I just don't want BIL frolicking in our bedroom!

Can you not just lock your bedroom in future when you go away? I often do this if someone is in my house babysitting etc. as it is my private space and makes me feel better

Growlybear83 · 03/08/2026 21:05

shellyleppard · 03/08/2026 17:48

@ChickenBananaBanana brace yourself!!! Im going in 😂😂😂

🤣🤣🤣. This thread is totally bonkers! I thought I’d seen it all on Mumsnet, but I never thought I’d see the day when someone would be posting about supposed Willy marks on a mirror.

CypressGrove · 03/08/2026 21:07

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 18:18

I'm fairly sure the mirror was clean, because the cleaner comes on a Friday and we went on holiday only two days later, on the Sunday. She usually cleans the mirrors, but I suppose it's possible that she forgot.

I would love to believe it was my DH leaning against the mirror to examine a rash, but wouldn't he need one hand free to hold the second mirror? And there are definitely two hand prints (left and right) here.

Aren't the marks more likely to be from the cleaner and left over cleaning product she didn't clean off - sometimes these can be hard to see when still wet , depending on the light when cleaning.

2O26 · 03/08/2026 21:07

Dear God, please tell me he’s not having a wank while the cat treats him like a catwalk. Judging by these photos, I fear the worst.

malefields · 03/08/2026 21:16

I don’t think this is something to dance around, really.

“Hi BIL, I understand you’re single but please do not bring anyone over to our place for hook ups and don’t use it on your own personal sessions either. Thank you.”

Even worse, being in your bedroom could have been what gets him going and that’s so much worseeeeeeeeeee 😩😩😩

Ohnobackagain · 03/08/2026 21:16

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 19:59

But if I say that and it isn't him, then we've got to have an awkward conversation about who it could be and the only candidate is his brother...

But that gets you off the hook and you can leave it to DH to ask BIL, or suggest you get another cat sitter 🤔🤣

sweetpickle2 · 03/08/2026 21:16

12234m · 03/08/2026 20:21

🤮🤮

why on earth did you think anyone would want to see photos? 🙄

If you are an adult, use your words and speak to him.

Oh come on, if OP had posted without pics the first five pages would be people saying "it's difficult to comment without seeing what you're talking about."

katepilar · 03/08/2026 21:17

ginasevern · 03/08/2026 17:14

Do you mean willy marks on the mirror? I don't really understand because your photos look like a towel. Personally I'd be more concerned about the cat. So no, I wouldn't have him back. Who knows what he's been up to.

Its clearly a photo of a mirror that is showing marks and a mirror image of a towel.

SarcySue · 03/08/2026 21:27

KeepPumping · 03/08/2026 20:52

Not sure the RSPCA would approve of that.

I think you’re barking up the wrong scratching post, @KeepPumping, though your user name could be pertinent to the original concern!!

lordbaddingham · 03/08/2026 21:33

Did he trip and fall naked against the mirror 😬😬

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 03/08/2026 21:34

Why are you worried about offending him.

Just say "BIL.. whatever were you doing in our bedroom. You left some very strange marks in the mirror. I hope the cat wasn't upset."

I guarantee he will slink away shamefaced.. or he should

cloudtreecarpet · 03/08/2026 21:36

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 03/08/2026 21:34

Why are you worried about offending him.

Just say "BIL.. whatever were you doing in our bedroom. You left some very strange marks in the mirror. I hope the cat wasn't upset."

I guarantee he will slink away shamefaced.. or he should

Do you really think he did something untoward & it wasn't the OP's DH before they left or just poor cleaning?

I can't believe anyone else buys into this story?

ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 03/08/2026 21:37

cloudtreecarpet · 03/08/2026 18:19

Sorry but I think this thread is just a silly wind up.

How can it possibly be a silly wind up if there's clearly a willy lined up?

ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 03/08/2026 21:38

Octoberfest · 03/08/2026 19:07

Really???? Have you ever stayed in a hotel? Imagine the myriad acts that have been carried out there by prior guests.

Besides, you have no firm idea if the marks on the mirror were in fact there before you left. It seems to be a big stretch to leap from a few marks of your mirror to sexual deviance by your BIL, who was kindly looking after your cat. I'd definitely let this one go (unless of course, there is some problematic backstory to do with your BIL).

I'd double check that he hasn't done a poo in the kettle, or used your Corby trouser press to make toast, just to be on the safe side.

Flannelfeet · 03/08/2026 21:40

That second picture looks like the joker 🤭

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 03/08/2026 21:41

cloudtreecarpet · 03/08/2026 21:36

Do you really think he did something untoward & it wasn't the OP's DH before they left or just poor cleaning?

I can't believe anyone else buys into this story?

I have no idea what he was doing. OP needs a forensic team for that

It was meant to be tongue in cheek. hence the mention of the cat.

But OP should probably ask him one way or another why he was in her bedroom.

Flannelfeet · 03/08/2026 21:43

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 18:02

What else could it be? It's at the height of my hips

How tall are you?

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