BIL using our bedroom for intimate purposes

[WhatTheMirrorSaw]

We arrived home from holiday last night. BIL has kindly been cat-sitting for us, popping in twice a day, but not sleeping here overnight. This is important.

This afternoon, I've been sorting out a few things in our room. The sun was shining in, and as it hit the mirror I could clearly see strange marks - handprints, quite high up, and what I think is a willy mark at hip height. They are quite noticeable, so I'm sure they weren't here before we went away.

I suspect BIL has been entertaining himself in our bedroom, either alone or with a partner. He's single and the thought of him bringing a hook-up into our bedroom makes me feel ill.

I've changed the sheets (just in case his activities culminated in our bed), but I don't know if I can bear the thought of him cat-sitting for us again if he does this. But DH will think it's strange if we don't have him back, and DCat has never been to a cattery.

Is there a way I can subtley dissuade him from using our home in this way, without offending him?

I've added photos, but they aren't very good because my phone doesn't seem to focus on the mirror surface.

Does he have or has he recently had a girlfriend? Does he live in a place where he could have a boyfriend over for some fun? Honestly there seems like quite a simple explanation here, especially as the marks were on a mirror and people having sex often like to see each others faces.

Sounds to me like BIL is probably gay.

He has probably been fucked in your bedroom, up against the mirrored wardrobes, because he was respectful enough not to have sex in your bed, or use any of the other bedrooms.

Has your husband never speculated about his brother's sexuality?

I'm guessing there will never be a resolution to this thread, and I'm kind of glad about that.

The BIL would probably be mortified if he was ever asked about this, and I'd hate to think of that happening to a - possibly - gay man who prefers to keep his sexuality his own business.

I'd just leave it at that, if I were you, and carry on as if you had never seen anything.

If he loves your cat, he's a nice person 😺

And, just as an afterthought, it's only sex.

I bet you probably had sex with your husband in someone else's property/bedroom/bed when you were away on holiday.

What's the difference?

He has probably been fucked in your bedroom, up against the mirrored wardrobes, because he was respectful enough not to have sex in your bed, or use any of the other bedrooms.

I think your idea of 'respectful' and mine may differ somewhat!! If that is what happened, he's hardly keeping his sexuality his own business if he decides to have partners around for sex in somebody else's home and he doesn't even bother to clean up afterwards.

It was only marks on a mirror.

If he'd left a pool of semen on the carpet, I might agree with you.

Very ambiguous marks on a mirror, I might add.

He wouldn't have thought it was funny. He'd have thought it was a bit grim that BIL was using our room for this and he would have been really annoyed (from a security perspective) if BIL had been entertaining a stranger in our house. But he wouldn't really want to confront BIL about it.

He has had girlfriends in the past, but not that often. He isn't much of a romeo figure. He's never shown any interest in men but if he did want to there's no reason why he couldn't invite one back to his flat as he lives alone and his neighbours would neither know nor care, I dont think. They're mostly young professionals in his block.

WRT lovers seeing each others faces - maybe that was why they were maybe doing it up against a mirror, to see each others faces even when adopting unconventional positions.

What???? I don't think it's very respectful to have sex against somebody else's bedroom mirror!

To be clear, BIL lives very close by so there was no need for him to stay over in our house, but just to pop in and feed the cat. So he shouldn't have been shagging in our house, any more than our cleaner should, the babysitter, the electrician etc.

It would be a bit different if we'd asked him to stay over in our house for two weeks. Then I would have made up a bed for him with clean sheets etc which I would have washed after he'd gone. Even then I'd hope he'd confine his activities to the bed, rather than shag up against mirrors, on the kitchen table etc which don't fit in the washing machine!

You have to be firm on this. Sorry we have decided on a different plan we no longer require your services.

Partner of someone who lives in a neighbouring flat?

The looking into each others eyes was my thought on the mirror.

I think this is all a stretch and OP has an overactive imagination.

If you find whisker marks on the glass I would call the police.

mumsnet users are so bloody odd. Are you all living Jeffrey Epstein-like existences, where every bedroom is under surveillance?

What the is a willy mark?

OP. Come on.
Everyone is entertaining this, but you’re being wildly imaginative here

I bet even if cameras were in place and a recording played back nothing actually happened. Or not like OP is thinking anyway.

I suspect your husband.

Send him the pictures and ask if he knows what it is.

For there too be hand and willy marks on mirror obviously he was pressed against it for sometime I presume using mirror too watch possibly?

Willy mark is making me laugh every time I see it written

Maybe he was in the shower and felt a large spot on his nose and rushed out to investigate?

Possible haha

Possible haha

Can you get round to BIL’s flat to water the plants or something while he’s away and spreadeagle your own naked body across his mirror? I think this is the way to start flushing out the truth. Vaseline on the relevant parts for unmistakeable prints.