Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

BIL using our bedroom for intimate purposes

481 replies

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 16:58

We arrived home from holiday last night. BIL has kindly been cat-sitting for us, popping in twice a day, but not sleeping here overnight. This is important.

This afternoon, I've been sorting out a few things in our room. The sun was shining in, and as it hit the mirror I could clearly see strange marks - handprints, quite high up, and what I think is a willy mark at hip height. They are quite noticeable, so I'm sure they weren't here before we went away.

I suspect BIL has been entertaining himself in our bedroom, either alone or with a partner. He's single and the thought of him bringing a hook-up into our bedroom makes me feel ill.

I've changed the sheets (just in case his activities culminated in our bed), but I don't know if I can bear the thought of him cat-sitting for us again if he does this. But DH will think it's strange if we don't have him back, and DCat has never been to a cattery.

Is there a way I can subtley dissuade him from using our home in this way, without offending him?

I've added photos, but they aren't very good because my phone doesn't seem to focus on the mirror surface.

BIL using our bedroom for intimate purposes
BIL using our bedroom for intimate purposes
Sensitive content
BIL using our bedroom for intimate purposes
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
JustLookingThanks · 03/08/2026 20:05

Get cameras, put them in the bedroom, and around the house. You can monitor them from your phone. Tell him or not 🤣 your choice! I think I'd let him know there are now cameras around the house. 2 cameras £22

Amazon

Amazon

https://amzn.eu/d/04FdLLDe?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum--chat-5562278-bil-using-our-bedroom-for-intimate-purposes

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 20:05

cloudtreecarpet · 03/08/2026 18:21

Because he moved position? One hand to look one way, swap hands and look the other?

It's no weirder than straight away assuming your BIL has been humping naked against the mirror in your bedroom after spooning out the Whiskas!! 🤷‍♀️

Hmm, maybe! I could show him my mozzie bites from our holiday and ask to see his! 💡

OP posts:
crocodilesandwich · 03/08/2026 20:06

Why can’t you discuss this with your DH? I would!

Octavia64 · 03/08/2026 20:06

I’m just here because if I saw any marks on my windows or mirrors it’s usually my cats and I cannot imagine why anyone would press their willy up against a mirror.

how on earth do you know it’s a willy print Op?

(unfortunately there are no men in my house otherwise I’d be asking them to do this)

Fingerscrossed22 · 03/08/2026 20:06

Just ask DH, if it wasn't him , ask His brother.
Simple really

KeepPumping · 03/08/2026 20:07

Sixtieslamp · 03/08/2026 20:03

It was so badly swollen and turning blue he had no choice but to seek help.

Are you sure he didn"t just fancy the nurse?

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 20:08

HollyhocksandPeons · 03/08/2026 18:31

What is a willy mark? Is it sperm?

I can hardly bring myself to type this, but I'm assuming that he has been using some form of lubricant on his willy, so his hands and willy have it on and this is why there are hand and willy marks on the mirror.

OP posts:
Justonemorething82 · 03/08/2026 20:09

I’ve not read responses but I think you need a black light.

DollydaydreamTheThird · 03/08/2026 20:10

There is only on thing for it in my eyes....let him cat sit next time and put a secret camera in. Your husband can't get mad at you if you have proper evidence. I'm a sneaky bastard though. 😂

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 20:13

OneNewEagle · 03/08/2026 18:36

He’s probably lent against the mirror whilst picking the cat up. My whole house is covered in various marks from my cats, who knows what they are up to.

id not tell your DH if it was me , be grateful Iyou have a reliable cat sitter and next time put a pet cam in so you know if anyone comes in the door plus the cat is ok.

This is what I'm leaning towards. Whether I ask DH or BIL, they'll never admit to it (unless there really is an innocent explanation) and it will just cause awkwardness. I do still want BIL to cat sit because DCat likes him and is much happier staying in our house than going to a cattery, I'm sure. I just don't want BIL frolicking in our bedroom!

OP posts:
HollyhocksandPeons · 03/08/2026 20:14

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 20:08

I can hardly bring myself to type this, but I'm assuming that he has been using some form of lubricant on his willy, so his hands and willy have it on and this is why there are hand and willy marks on the mirror.

Sorry

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 20:15

greenritta · 03/08/2026 18:46

@WhatTheMirrorSaw, is it possible that he spilled a something on himself, took a shower, wrapped a towel around his waist. Coming out of the shower spotted a spider high up on the mirror. He went for the spider but as he leaned in, the towel dropped and he smashed his "willy" send his hand against the mirror?

How likely would that be? 🤔

Hmm...not very!

OP posts:
WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 20:16

CoolShoeshine · 03/08/2026 18:58

I cannot tell from the photo but it depends on whether the willy print is in a floppy or active state. That will narrow down the situational evidence to nefarious daliance or 'oops I accidentally dropped my trousers and pants while standing near the mirror'.

Now you mention it, it's pointing down I think, so in a floppy state! That actually makes me feel better!

OP posts:
MabelAnderson · 03/08/2026 20:17

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 03/08/2026 17:29

I envisage it like when a bird flies into.the window and leaves a ghost bird shape.😁

Crying with laughter at this.

12234m · 03/08/2026 20:21

🤮🤮

why on earth did you think anyone would want to see photos? 🙄

If you are an adult, use your words and speak to him.

LilacGrass · 03/08/2026 20:26

Could it have been moved so it was lying down on the floor? 🫣

Could you test it and see if your dry hand leaves a similar mark? If so then there’s probably an innocent explanation, and it’s not his willy it’s something else

Organi5edbrood · 03/08/2026 20:26

My first thought was I'd be checking for hidden cameras in the bedroom and bathroom. 😂

ThreadGuardDog · 03/08/2026 20:29

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 17:21

I can't quite imagine, but I think he must have been leaning against the mirror with no underwear on, and his arms stretched up, palms pressed against the mirror. But why?

Pegging ?

Whosthetabbynow · 03/08/2026 20:33

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 20:08

I can hardly bring myself to type this, but I'm assuming that he has been using some form of lubricant on his willy, so his hands and willy have it on and this is why there are hand and willy marks on the mirror.

😱

BeaLola · 03/08/2026 20:36

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 18:13

Well, exactly! It isn't even fixed to the wall - it's a rather rickety mirrored sliding door on a built-in wardrobe. I wouldn't want to put any weight on it myself.

But I don't think BIL is a practical joker.

I’m trying not to laugh (I’m not meaning to be unhelpful ) but if you were in the throes of passion you wouldn’t take the time to check that the mirrored sliding door was stable/substantial would you ? That would be like folding your socks and placing on a chair - not exactly passionate

cloudtreecarpet · 03/08/2026 20:37

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 20:08

I can hardly bring myself to type this, but I'm assuming that he has been using some form of lubricant on his willy, so his hands and willy have it on and this is why there are hand and willy marks on the mirror.

Your imagination is running riot here, have a word with yourself!

GooGooMuckMuck · 03/08/2026 20:38

I’m cackling at ‘willy mark’ 🤣

KeepPumping · 03/08/2026 20:38

WhatTheMirrorSaw · 03/08/2026 20:16

Now you mention it, it's pointing down I think, so in a floppy state! That actually makes me feel better!

Yes, looks like he had a wank on the bed and was just leaning against the mirror to get his breath back.

BeaLola · 03/08/2026 20:40

Next time DCat who likes your BIL needs looking after just leave a post it note in the mirrored door saying “freshly cleaned please don’t lean on “

KeepPumping · 03/08/2026 20:40

LilacGrass · 03/08/2026 20:26

Could it have been moved so it was lying down on the floor? 🫣

Could you test it and see if your dry hand leaves a similar mark? If so then there’s probably an innocent explanation, and it’s not his willy it’s something else

His arse! OMG that would definitely mean there was someone else in the room maybe!

Swipe left for the next trending thread