Save my husband. Help me drown him out.

[PrizedPickledPopcorn]

I need something to play through ear pods that will gently drown out the noise of DH’s existence, without distracting me. He has hyperfocus and makes so much noise just existing that I want to scream. Think, two radios on at the same time in his office with the door wide open, rushing about in slides that slap the floor with every step.

I have fibro and get overtired, overwhelmed and overstimulated very easily. I can’t listen to talk radio or songs, as they are too distracting. I also get tinnitus. I need to concentrate at work.

Can you recommend something like whale song or elevator music or white noise that isn’t going to be interrupted at intervals by loud adverts?

Bonus points if there’s some magical auditory reprocessing thing that will ticktock away in my ears and leave me calmer and less in need of an extra patio. It would be a shame, after 35 years!

I was particularly tired yesterday after work, and the noise of the radios was driving me potty. I got into a pickle, turned Alexa up so loud trying to drown him out that then she couldn’t hear me trying to turn her down 🫣

TL:DR? AI suggested title is a very tame “Recommendations for calming background audio to block household noise while working”.

Is he aware of how his noise affects you.
He sounds incredibly selfish if he can't even shut the office door. Why is he inflicting his two radios on everybody else? I literally couldn't live with that.

Why can he not turn them off or use earbuds?
DH turns his noisey devices off when asked as he knows they cause me migraines and distress.

Not quite what you were asking but have you tried good quality noise cancelling headphones and/or the more expensive loop ear plugs? Those, combined with closing the bloody office door (!), ought to make a huge difference.

Why is he listening to two radios ?

Have you tried shoving his two radios up his arse?

Tell your selfish husband to wear headphones and to shut his office door when he's in there. Hyperfocus doesn't entitle him to inflict his shit on everyone else. I am autistic and the noise you've described would send me into full-on shutdown within seconds! Urgh. I'm feeling rage just reading your OP! Sending you in sympathy.

(Also wondering if he has ADHD and if you're autistic, but that's another thread!).

Have you had a look on Spotify? There are various playlists on there, rain, birds, whales, music to help meditate.
Failing that, I have a shovel and an alibi 😊

Patio option sounds good to me ….

Why do you have no voice in this relationship?

Tell him to turn one radio off and keep the other one on low volume.

Loops are highly recommended by people who use them. They filter out background noise allowing you to function.
Otherwise an automatic closure on his door and removed his feet?

Earbuds for your husband. 2 sets so he can play something different in each ear if he wants....!!!

I sympathise. My DH and DD both have ADHD, our house is always stupidly noisy and it drives me crazy.

I'd be happy to return to the office in this scenario. What a knob he is.

Think he’s autistic and am wondering if I’m also a touch ND, or just burnt out!

He is totally unaware of his noise, is the problem. He’ll be listening to one programme, recording/uploading a second. And even when he isn’t doing anything that generates noise, he has various tic like sounds- that horse lip noise, random phrases etc.

It’s taken until this year for him to use headphones when he watches tv (formula 1, or bass heavy war films, or almost worse, documentaries on double speed).

He used to be out at the office all day so I’d get quiet then. Now he isn’t.

So yes it’s him, and yes it’s also me.

@PurpleEmerald loops haven’t done the job so far, I’d like something to play through noise cancelling ear bud things.

I found sea music on YouTube but the ads were very loud and intrusive.

If you have an iPhone it has white noise inbuilt that will just keep playing. Settings/accessibility/audio visual/background sounds and pick from the list. You can then add the toggle to Home Screen and listen to your heart’s content.

He sounds horrendously selfish.

Rain sounds good, @YorkieTheRabbit , I’ll investigate. I haven’t got to grips with Spotify. Must have a look.

And actually an automatic door closer could be really helpful.

He is still struggling to learn that something which isn’t a problem for him, can be a problem for me. He’s inclined to say, ‘no it’s fine’, about something I’ve just said is an issue. I point it out. Every time. He’s amazed. Every time.

This! This is the information I hoped someone would share! I had no idea. Thank you. I’ll go and see.

I read that as can I have help drowning husband

Spotify "spa music" if you pay for Spotify? Same on yoga music.

They also do soundscapes on there.

Or there are some on the BBC but they aren't as long:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/p09652n3?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

Or these are a mixture of nature and some light classical music and very long:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/m0024qvv?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

Or there are 8 hour long ones aimed at kids:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/p07h0nky?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

The BBC sounds app and search "sleep" is my best idea for non subscription calming stuff. I also like radio 3 unwind.

Me too, at first.

We could just actually drown him if you’d like. I would think three of us would be enough to hold him under.

I agree that drowning is the answer. The only answer.

I like the Balanced Noise one but there are lots of options. It will keep playing indefinitely until you try to play something else on your phone like a video or song. I use it for white noise when we stay away overnight in hotels.

Sounds ideal.

I totally agree!
Do you need a hand OP? 😁