Save my husband. Help me drown him out.

[PrizedPickledPopcorn]

I need something to play through ear pods that will gently drown out the noise of DH’s existence, without distracting me. He has hyperfocus and makes so much noise just existing that I want to scream. Think, two radios on at the same time in his office with the door wide open, rushing about in slides that slap the floor with every step.

I have fibro and get overtired, overwhelmed and overstimulated very easily. I can’t listen to talk radio or songs, as they are too distracting. I also get tinnitus. I need to concentrate at work.

Can you recommend something like whale song or elevator music or white noise that isn’t going to be interrupted at intervals by loud adverts?

Bonus points if there’s some magical auditory reprocessing thing that will ticktock away in my ears and leave me calmer and less in need of an extra patio. It would be a shame, after 35 years!

I was particularly tired yesterday after work, and the noise of the radios was driving me potty. I got into a pickle, turned Alexa up so loud trying to drown him out that then she couldn’t hear me trying to turn her down 🫣

TL:DR? AI suggested title is a very tame “Recommendations for calming background audio to block household noise while working”.

Horse lips noise?

I'm autistic and really struggle with noise. I don't go anywhere without my apple airpods. Make sure you get ones with active noise cancelling. Download a white noise app on your phone, play that with the noise cancelling on, and it cuts out pretty much everything.

Read him the Fucking Riot Act.

There is no reason why he can't keep the headphones on or have one ear bud connected to one thing and the other to another.

If you got those sounds out of the way, the others could be muffled slightly by having a fan going.

Have you any hearing loss as well? That can be connected to Tinnitus - and if you need HAs you can get ones that connect to a phone (and the electrical hssss can also help block out his whinnying, neighing and clip clopping across the landing). Failing that, get him a nice stable with some straw and tell him that's where he's living until he STFUs.

Why not just ask him to be a bit quieter?

I couldn't live like that, it sounds hellish. You must absolutely cherish him to want to stay in that environment.
Shame he doesn't pay you the same courtesy. 'no it's fine'.

EMDR music is your friend. You use headphones and it tictoks from ear to ear. It's so calming.

Eg:

I second Apple EarPods. Get the latest ones. Not cheap but filter out things to tolerable level. I wear mine in the house, in the street, on public transport. Helps me keep my rage levels and blood pressure down. At night it stops me hearing my own and DP snoring, and the 5am DHL 747!
Best £250 quid I’ve ever spent.

As for your husband, well you are very tolerant. I’d have shouted at him and probably smashed the radios by now. Maybe he needs a sound proof coffin, sorry, I mean studio…

Could you get him a gas mask and tell him to put it on because there is a gas leak? 😂

My sympathies. I have a similar problem. Its the booming phone voice thats there problem for me though.

My DS, used to listen to whole film scores on You Tube, to drown out noise when studying... The Lord of the Rings on goes on for hours.

I second Loops. They are great. Filter out noise but not so much you can’t hear anything ! I am super noise sensitive and wear them sometimes at home and work when everyone is annoying me !

The Calm app has a number of white noise/calming noise/meditations that might work.
Its subscription but they have lots on there so it might be something to look at.

I use focus music from there in the office as I'm easily distracted

Can you not take in turns to go into the office?

I think it would be the fairest solution.

He may be ND but being ND isn’t an excuse for being selfish. How do you live with this man?!?

Use Brave browser and you won't get any YouTube ads.

Try bilateral stimulation music, there are different playlists to listen to. I listen on the Calm app but Spotify also has them. The music alternates from one ear to another. I’ve found it more effecting than relaxing playlists.

I use a website/app called mynoise.net .
It has loads of different soundscapes, all ad-free, including stuff like white noise and binaural beats, but also things like an imagined soundscape for a mediaeval monks' library, or rain on a tent roof, etc.

You can use it free, but if you make even a small one-off donation you can then download stuff to play offline, save favourites, etc, which i think is well worth it.

Separate houses.

It’s the only way.

I haven’t read all the replies but…Have you considered loops? The ones with multiple levels of sound blocking are probably the right choice. I really struggle with overstimulation and with mine in I can sit in the trampoline park/softplay/etc with the kids playing and be ok.

You were all with me that day 😉

Is he wfh because he can't work like this in the office? Honestly OP, this is no life is it? Id be laying down the law, he either listens to you and sorts this frankly outrageous behaviour out or thats it? Id be losing any respect or love for someone who repeatedly ignores my need for peace. Surely this overstimulation can only build up as well? Where will it stop?

I’m making notes of the more exciting suggestions like EMDR soundtracks, binaural beats and bilateral stimulation music. I think that’s the kind of thing I need to explore.
I’ve also noted the posse who will help should more direct action be needed, thanks ladies!

But for the moment, @hugasaurus has done me a solid with the description of where to find rain and how to add it to my screen.

The expensive iPods are going on my Christmas list.

DH doesn’t have a company office to work from, being semi retired, and is in many ways a perfectly nice chap. He just operates at a different volume from me. I’ve had his ears tested. He lacks all self awareness so struggles to change his own behaviour.

My favourite app for this kind of background noise is MyNoise. Lots of different sounds from the sea to Georgian chants. You can also tailor them eg add more rain sound to forest sounds etc.

I also agree with the consensus that your husband should do more.

I have these to block out my husband’s snoring. They’re brilliant! Come with built in white noise choices (I use rainy alley) and they link to the case, which you put near the direction of any offending noises, and it cancels them out. Not cheap but I’ve found them to be fantastic. Can be used with other audio on your phone or just as normal ear buds

Irish coast noise generator https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/windSeaRainNoiseGenerator.php

Remove one of the radios.

Two radios would make my ears jangle too 🫨