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Dd isn't home because im taking so long.

134 replies

Whyohwhy99 · 28/07/2026 09:11

I have messed up. My house is quite a mess recently. Yesterday complex needs person rang me asked to come for a home visit which is today. Late afternoon. I agreed on purpose because it will force me to properly tidy up.

I'm sorting Dd16 bedroom. I have totally emptied it out carpet up. Which has taken me 5 days. Ds was going to take the roll of lino up from downstairs but he was on the phone. So i came down stairs to rest for a bit. About 30 mins later ds took the lino up for me. I was meant to go back up but I didn't. I cant do it on my own I can barely lift it. Ds can't help today because he's moving out.

Only thing I can think of is to ask dd16 to help me. Its her room I'm doing. But I really cant be arsed with crappy teenage strops. But also she's been at her sisters for a week because I'm taking so long to do the bedroom. And really she should be home and its because of me that she's not. She's quite happy at her sisters but thats not the point. It was just meant ti be for a couple of nights stretching to 3 wouldn't have been so bad but its been a week. I feel like I have dumped her.

OP posts:
Chalotte · 30/07/2026 11:53

Sorry if I've missed something OP, but does it matter if the assessment takes place while you are doing some DIY on a bedroom? It's a normal part of looking after a house.
DD refusing to help is another thing. Infuriating for you especially as you are part way through, but you can't actually make her do it. Perhaps you could take a break for a day or two and see if it's possible to get some other help, paid or otherwise.

Whyohwhy99 · 30/07/2026 14:39

Chalotte · 30/07/2026 11:53

Sorry if I've missed something OP, but does it matter if the assessment takes place while you are doing some DIY on a bedroom? It's a normal part of looking after a house.
DD refusing to help is another thing. Infuriating for you especially as you are part way through, but you can't actually make her do it. Perhaps you could take a break for a day or two and see if it's possible to get some other help, paid or otherwise.

Dd didn't refuse to help. I have manged to do the hardest bit now. Well i think so anyway.

I don't know how to explain why I panicked. But I did and probably will again. I have made another thread regarding that side of things.

OP posts:
Chalotte · 30/07/2026 14:50

Whyohwhy99 · 30/07/2026 14:39

Dd didn't refuse to help. I have manged to do the hardest bit now. Well i think so anyway.

I don't know how to explain why I panicked. But I did and probably will again. I have made another thread regarding that side of things.

That's impressive that you got the job done in those circumstances. Sounded like hard work!

Lougle · 30/07/2026 14:56

Whyohwhy99 · 30/07/2026 10:54

You just remanded me i said I was going to send a message to GP. Not sure how to word it. If i should write it in my natural way which would similar to how I have been typing in this thread or if I should ask chatgpt to help me.

Well done for getting it done!!

Don't use chat GPT. Use your natural writing voice and try not to edit it - I am sure that they will pick up that you're struggling.

Nobody needs chat GPT. It isn't helpful, especially for a situation where the doctor needs to see your struggles. This is why people are going to interviews and not getting jobs - chat GPT has put together a decent application but it doesn't match the person.

Whyohwhy99 · 30/07/2026 14:59

Lougle · 30/07/2026 14:56

Well done for getting it done!!

Don't use chat GPT. Use your natural writing voice and try not to edit it - I am sure that they will pick up that you're struggling.

Nobody needs chat GPT. It isn't helpful, especially for a situation where the doctor needs to see your struggles. This is why people are going to interviews and not getting jobs - chat GPT has put together a decent application but it doesn't match the person.

Ok so your saying its better if its all over the place in my natural way. Because it matches me and possibly matches with what I'm trying to explain?

OP posts:
Lougle · 30/07/2026 17:16

Whyohwhy99 · 30/07/2026 14:59

Ok so your saying its better if its all over the place in my natural way. Because it matches me and possibly matches with what I'm trying to explain?

Yes. Being blunt, I'm saying that your communication style on MN made me and others say "do you think you have ADHD?" That makes me think that if you say or write how you feel to the GP, they may think the same. If you 'clean it up' using chat GPT, they won't get a sense of your true thought processes which, IMO, show ADHD traits.

BertieBotts · 30/07/2026 18:10

MzHz · 30/07/2026 10:08

I wonder, if you get overwhelmed again @Whyohwhy99 perhaps you could use chat gpt or whatever to help you prioritise your tasks.

fwiw, it does look very likely that you have undiagnosed adhd or are at the very least stressed to the point of being totally overwhelmed

FWIW as someone who gets similarly overwhelmed and has tried this, it actually just creates more hassle.

First of all it takes you literally and will not remind you that as well as this list of 3 overdue and important tasks, 2 completely spurious ones and 1 random thought, you are also really behind on laundry and haven't eaten a proper meal in 2 days and the bins need to go out. It can't literally see your house so it can't tell you what is actually the priority. It doesn't matter how many times you've told it previously, it forgets you have children or doesn't anticipate that children are likely to have needs popping up in the middle of this.

Secondly it's rubbish at understanding time. The other day it told me I should start cycling at 9:00 to get to my Pilates class at 10:15 because I told it it would take me 10 minutes to cycle there. I mean I'm time blind and have literally made that exact kind of mistake multiple times but you'd think the robots would be alright at it.

Third, it doesn't (even gently) push back on anything ever, it only exists to tell you you are brilliant, the cleverest person ever and have perfect ideas all the time. Which is nice but actually not that useful. I also find it's always telling me I should take a break and relax because I work too hard, which is a load of rubbish because I waste a ridiculous amount of time on MN and have a horrible tendency to make endless excuses to myself. No matter how much you explain this it always falls over itself to try and make you feel better about whatever it is (which again, is nice but not always that helpful).

But mainly it tends to spit out a massive long response like as long as one of my MN posts and this normally just makes me more overwhelmed.

It is a cliche but actually when I feel overwhelmed I find a physical written list on paper is the best thing because when it's out of my brain I can actually see it. I can't easily isolate thoughts to do much with them inside my own head. I have to get them out, and then it is easier. But I can do it more easily myself because it gets the fluff out of the way. I will inevitably lose the list, but at least it helps sort things out in the moment.

I do use LLMs sometimes for things including prioritising tasks, but it doesn't work when I'm overwhelmed like this.

(Now someone please tell me to get on with ordering a new dishwasher instead of stewing over the broken one and the ridiculousness of the returns system and pondering whether to attempt a repair which will probably just break it more).

LIZS · 30/07/2026 18:59

Whyohwhy99 · 30/07/2026 10:49

You missed the point. But i didn't write it well. Anyway the floor is 90% done. Dd is home. On matress on the floor. Later I will make the bed frame. Put desk back together build her drawers. Put her blinds up. Don't know if it will all get done today. But will see.
.
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She’s 16 not 6 , surely she can do some of this.

Whyohwhy99 · 30/07/2026 19:23

LIZS · 30/07/2026 18:59

She’s 16 not 6 , surely she can do some of this.

I didn't want her to help i wanted to be on my own.

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