Shocking texts/calls from your Uni age kids

[seashaken]

I'll kick off with:

"What temperature should I wash my sheets and towels at?"

He'd been there 9 months.

DD was using the washing machine in her halls when it stopped mid cycle. She called in a panic to ask what she should do. I asked if she could see suds and she replied 'what is suds?' She has yet to live it down!

My sixth form child was doing voluntary work in local mps office . Day one he calls to ask where the stamp goes on an envelope, ten minutes later asks how one actually posts a letter !

How do you clean magots out of an airfryer? Rapidly followed by a stream of expletives about some male, southern european exchange students who were rather too used to mummy doing everything for them ....

"Big spider in the kitchen!!!"
Use your most hated flatmates fishslice

"Big spider corpse in kitchen"
Use the OTHER SIDE of the most hated flatmates fishslice

And pictures of cookers and dials when she went into cheaper accommodation in uni they leave the manual in shared housing they do not we figured it out

We had one at 6pm to say he was in hospital with a bleed on his brain. He had slipped on a wet floor at 1am and fell backwards, banging his head on the dishwasher door that he hadn’t closed properly. He went to sleep and woke up with blood on his pillow. He took himself off to A+E at 2pm. Yes he had been drinking. We left our house 10 minutes after his text message.

My finger is all red and there is pus coming out what should I do?

where are you?

Not sure, I’m on a train on my way back from a festival

okay we can have a look when you get back, do you feel fine otherwise?

No I feel really sick and sweaty

Perfect, so you’ve either got a hangover or sepsis and your on a train hundreds of miles away 🤨

My brother is famous for texting my mum (on his gap year)

‘Just crossing the border into Zimbabwe, but I think I have malaria’. Then going silent for three days.

He didn’t have malaria, but his did need to get a Zimbabwean SIM card.

I've got loads of these stories but one that sticks is dd (then aged 20) had been asked by me to take the clothes out of the washer,hang it on the line,stick the next load on (showed her what to do) and said to use a capful of white vinegar instead of fabric conditioner (it was a white load-mainly towels)
I even left the bottle of white vinegar on top of the machine
Went out,came back and she was standing there,brown stains all over my washing and she's swearing blind she didn't know what had happened
Yep,she'd ignored the white vinegar and gone looking for the malt vinegar
The load was ruined

Ds moved in with his girlfriend and I suddenly got a message 'mum,ring me,it's urgent'
Just as I was about to ring him,I got a picture message
Of his willy-with a huge lump on the end
'Do I need to see a doctor?'
'Er,yes,make an appointment now and don't ever send me a dick pic again son'
He was fine In the end

Or the time dd microwaved an egg
In a bowl,didn't crack it and it had no water
The microwave door blew off and only just missed her sisters head

At least she didn’t ask “who is Suds?”

Omg I did the same thing! His exact response was "what do you expect me to do about it?"!

Sometimes it's just good to talk.

There's a couple of men in my life who'd I'd never try to have a conversation with over the phone. But phone them with a technical question 😀

Not a call or text, but many years ago my brother (late teens) went on holiday with one of his friends. They were staying in a motel and intended to do laundry, so my mother gave him a little plastic container of washing powder. The box came home, unused. He explained that they'd done a cold wash, "and you don't need laundry powder for those". I think everything got washed again :-)

Me too!! And my dad came over in early hours of morning and vacuumed it up ❤️

I mean, technically you could. Probably just the one time, though 😂.

I’d recommend burning them after 9 months and buying new ones 😂

Will you come and bring me home? I’m bored.

At 5am on a weekday morning.

What, uni aged kids?! Harsh 😉

Bin it 😆

What do you mean! My washing machine has a program called towels and one called bed linens…

Pre-internet...My brother drunk called my mum from Australia to say he'd been mugged and they'd 'taken everything' and he 'couldn't see' where he was, then ended the call.... days later (after causing total panic at home and my mum calling Sydney police to report him missing and considering a flight out to look for him) he called back. Turned out he'd had about $10 left in the wallet when it was taken out of his hand outside a bar, he 'couldn't see' because it was dark... he'd completely forgotten calling her, it was only after the hostel (mum had called several!) had asked him if he might be the son of the crazy English lady who was phoning every day!!

Oh no! I wouldn’t cope 😂. I have similar but I have a towels and a bed linen program. On the other hand I don’t have anti stain nor synthetics and my full load is 90 min. I mean… so much to choose from

😂😂

I use two. Been married twice, first one was 55 years ago and I've worked my way up.

I remember sitting on the phone with my mum while she explained how to measure and hang curtains. She told me my older sister had the same conversation with her when she moved out 3 years previously.

How do you get rid of rats?

And can we go to prison for not paying the TV licence as we think they are outside the flat now…

🐀