DP hasn't called as promised....

[Meckrel]

Longstanding DP, don't live together, in contact or see each other daily, but not back and forth texting all day.

I last saw him about 11:30 last night when he went home, as he had an early start and a long day today. His last words were he'd call when he finishes, which could be "late"

I haven't heard anything. This is very unusual. That said, I haven't contacted him either. He said he'd call me when he could, so I assumed he would. I don't have anything in particular I need to talk to him about, I'm only concerned because he said he'd call and hasn't iyswim.

So would you be;
Annoyed?
Worried?
Neutral and go to bed without a second thought?

Fwiw I do know what I plan to do, just wondering how others might respond.

He’s had an early start and a long day.

Just go to bed.

I would message or call him and just check he's ok.
I would be more worried than annoyed

I would grow up and call him. Why are you sitting back asking whether people would be annoyed, worried or just go to bed? Surely the vast majority would just call or text him, if nothing else to check he was ok?

I tried to fend this off. I'm just wondering. I'm interested in the human response to lots of things.

Just message him.

Surely you just message him and say, hi, how was your day? I’m heading to bed soon so thought I’d say night.

I don’t get how some people function when they need to ask a forum of people how to speak to someone they are meant to be in a relationship with.

I didn't ask what I should do. I said I knew what I was going to do.

My post wasn't about what to do at all, but the response/"feeling". I asked because I have RSD and wondered how "normal" people would feel. And, yes you're right functioning is hard sometimes.

Ok, I think normal people would wonder if he was ok and drop him a text.

This. I would wonder if DP was OK and give them a ring or text them.

I'd just text and say something along the lines of 'Hope you had a good day, off to bed now xx' and leave it at that.

Is he on WhatsApp and if so can you see his ‘last seen’?

I don't have that switched on on mine so can't see his. It did occur to me to switch it back on momentarily so I could check, but even I knew that would be unhinged 🤣

Yes I’d be messaging.

You can switch it on just for him.

I didn't ask what to do, I was asking about your emotional response. How would it make you feel?

If it’s unusual I’d be very worried.

I never speak to my DP on the phone but if we went 24 hours and I hadn’t heard from him I’d be very worried and definitely would check whether he’d been active on WhatsApp. Wouldn’t occur to me not to.

Very worried. Although if it was unusual but he’d said ‘I’m doing X tomorrow and won’t have a signal to text until late’, and then he’d didn’t get one until now or even later tonight it wouldn’t bother me.

I wouldn’t have any emotional response. You don’t live together. You saw him last night. He told you he had a long day today and would call when he could though it might be late. You posted at 21.53. Not particularly late. There’s nothing remotely concerning or anger-inducing.

It wouldn't make me feel anything. I'd probably assume he'd got in late, sat down and fallen asleep in front of the tv! I'd just go to bed and message him in the morning.

What is RSD ?

Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria. Thrown around a lot on here in the spirit of ‘I’m a little bit OCD’, but not in the DSM.

I'd be worried and would struggle to sleep. Maybe wait till the morning and phone him

I don’t “believe” in it, that it’s a real thing. It’s basically insecurity, nothing else. We can all feel rejected, but it’s not a condition.

Well, whatever. It's a useful thing to understand about yourself, and I've (mostly) trained myself to take a breath before responding, as I did tonight.

I messaged him to say "Long day? Hope you're OK", and he called straight away to say he'd just got on the train home, could he pop in for a cuppa on the way home. Which he did, we watched the news together then he went home to bed.