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Shopping for neighbour

79 replies

DarkChocolateNut · 19/07/2026 23:10

Our neighbours daughter knocked the door earlier in the week to tell us that our neighbour had been in hospital and is now at home recovering. The daughter doesn’t live near us so she asked if we would be able to get her mum some shopping when she needs it and go in her house and put it away as she can’t lift much.

We said that if she sends us a text we will add anything she needs onto our Tesco online shop which comes on Saturdays and we will go round with it and put it away. We did that for the first time yesterday. We gave our neighbour the bill and she said she would get her daughter to pay us.

The daughter contacted us for our bank details and paid but commented how expensive it was and said her mum usually shops in Lidl. I text back to say that we’ve never shopped in Lidl but find Tesco quite reasonable. She has now asked us if next week we will get her mums shopping from Lidl as her mum is on a tight budget and can’t afford much. I replied saying we don’t have time to go to Lidl for her but to let us know if she wants anything from Tesco then to let us know by Friday evening so we can put it on our order. She said she can’t afford it so she doesn’t know what she will do now and asked if we really couldn’t spare the time to go to Lidl as it’s only 10 minutes away in the car.

My husband said to tell her that she should be grateful we are helping at all and can sort her own mother out from now on. I don’t mind adding things to our Tesco order but I’m not going to Lidl for her and I do think she is rude to expect us to go to LIdl.

She is being cheeky isn’t she? We get our shopping delivered to save time going to a supermarket so I’m not going to one for someone else.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 19/07/2026 23:14

Yes she is. You’d already agreed to quite a big favour by going over to put it away for her mum and if she’s going to be a dick about which shop the food comes from she can piss off. If the mum can’t put shopping away does she have or need carers? If so the daughter can order the food and have the carers put it away. Their financial situations are absolutely not your problem. You were being neighbourly and you’re being treated like mugs.

Dimms · 19/07/2026 23:16

You sounds lovely, and she is a CF.

PashaMinaMio · 19/07/2026 23:18

Stick to your boundaries.
She sounds entitled and very cheeky.
Not your circus …

Be careful because you might find you get sucked into other caring duties.
Be prepared for that.

Im afraid I’d have to say “Sorry it’s Tesco. Take it or leave it.”

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Wiglio · 19/07/2026 23:18

Maybe the daughter can send the balance between a lidl and a Tesco shop if she’s so concerned
she has a nerve.

Clickncollect · 19/07/2026 23:22

Wow, when you think you’ve heard it all!
IMO you have handled it perfectly, keep those firm boundaries in place please. The daughter should be thanking her lucky stars, not being a CF!!

Bellyblueboy · 19/07/2026 23:44

Sounds like the daughter needs to visit once a week and go to lidl. Or the mum could move in with her until she is fully recovered.

its not a neighbours problem to solve - and the price difference surely isn’t that huge for a one person shop?

DarkChocolateNut · 20/07/2026 00:02

Thanks everyone. Her shopping came to £77 but her daughter said she usually spends under £60. I sent her the receipt so she can like it or lump it.

OP posts:
ILoveMyCaravan · 20/07/2026 00:05

If the daughter is so concerned she can either make up the difference in cost herself or visit once a week after she’s done her mothers shopping in Lidl and put it away herself!

OnTheBoardwalk · 20/07/2026 00:16

DarkChocolateNut · 20/07/2026 00:02

Thanks everyone. Her shopping came to £77 but her daughter said she usually spends under £60. I sent her the receipt so she can like it or lump it.

I think this is very over used on here but her daughter really is a CF

Mullaghanish · 20/07/2026 00:23

If the mum needs help, adult social care can provide a shopping call, through a care company where they take the mum out shopping. County council will have advocacy service to negotiate this.. it’s called a Care Act advocate

Ohsakes · 20/07/2026 00:26

What a nutty woman! You are totally happy with your supermarket but DD of your neighbour wants you to get in the car, pay the petrol money for free, and drive to her DM's favoured supermarket and do her shopping? Maybe DD could get on the bus and step up?

ExOptimist · 20/07/2026 00:37

Bloody hell, I couldn't imagine asking a neighbour to do my shopping or doing it for my neighbours, and we've lived next door for 30 years. I'm of an age where my parents are elderly and luckily in very good health, but I could not imagine asking next door neighbours to do shopping. That type of thing is for the daughter to sort out, yes it's inconvenient for her but that's how it can be with elderly parents. I've never heard of anyone expecting neighbours to do the shopping.

She should be incredibly grateful you added it to your shop and should have paid whatever it cost. Unbelievably rude that she said it was expensive and wants you to go to Lidl! Just say no, you use Tesco and that's all you're prepared to do. If she doesn't like it she'll have to go to Lidl herself or make alternative arrangements. Some people have an incredible cheek.

Inmyuggs · 20/07/2026 01:36

Does Lidl have online shopping the daughter could use?
Otherwise nah take it or leave it the exta for convienance let alone peace of mind...oh well.

Friendlygingercat · 20/07/2026 01:50

No good deed goes unpunished. I would reply to the daughter along the lines indicated then block her texts. There is another old saying that beggers cant be choosers.

Before there was home shopping delivery I found myself manipulated into getting top up shopping for a neighbour. She complained that the items were too expensive or not her usual brand. I do not drive so I was doing the shopping near my place of work and hauling it back on the bus. At the same time the neighbour had a big lump of a son living with her. I broke the cycle by telling her I was going away for two weeks knowing she would have to put something in place for that time. I never did any more shopping for her.

onlygeese · 20/07/2026 01:51

This woman is taking the proverbial and should in reality be very grateful to you. Some people!

Francestein · 20/07/2026 01:52

Neighbour’s DD is a CF. I think a very short message stating that this doesn’t work for you and she should look into sorting delivery for her mother herself. It’s not rocket science.

30DegreesHighAndRising · 20/07/2026 02:08

Crikey, she knows you have your supermarket shopping delivered, presumably because you value the convenience. She wants you to spend an hour or so driving to another supermarket, doing the shopping, delivering it and putting it away, and will no doubt complain about anything that was out of stock and ask you to pop back next day? Or "you bought the wrong one, we're not paying for that"?

No, send her a message saying that "on second thoughts, we feel it's best that your mum has family doing the shopping so that she gets the items she prefers. I'm sure it'll be better for everyone if you drop off her shopping when you're visiting your mum. I know you'll want to visit as much as possible. I hope she's recovering well."

JamJar187 · 20/07/2026 04:36

I would no longer respond to texts, let alone offer to do any shopping.

Fundamentally, its her mom so its her problem.

FatMrsHoot · 20/07/2026 04:49

Oh, OP. I think what she was getting at is having you offer to cover the cost!

Honestly, the nerve of some people.

MadameEtourdie · 20/07/2026 05:24

I would tread very carefully with these neighbours from now on.
You have been a good neighbour to them but they are overly expecting of you.

I have infirm neighbours- they ask me to help them occasionally but they are always very concerned not to “put on me”. I would do a lot more for them any time as a consequence.

Your neighbours are the opposite. You have done a good deed and they have made things difficult for you. That doesn’t bode well for any future interaction with them.

Good luck!

TheTortiePuffinNeedsHerBreakfast · 20/07/2026 06:01

She sounds like the sort to take a mile the moment you give an inch. I would reply and say "I'm actually not sure this is going to work. I suggest you sort the shopping yourself as we're only able to offer adding things to our shop.". Nip this in the bud now, she's clearly going to start taking the mickey pretty quickly.

whowhatwerewhy · 20/07/2026 06:07

Message her saying you’re unable to help with shopping going forward it’s not possible for you to go to Lidl . You look forward to seeing her next week when she delivers her moms shopping.

IronEverything · 20/07/2026 06:33

Wow she's not just cheeky, she's ungrateful too. Did your neighbour thank you at all?

I'd send quite a stern message reminding her that you have no obligation towards your neighbour and you will not be going to Lidl.

HoraceCope · 20/07/2026 06:44

well done for not giving in immediately
it is an expensive shop her mother has done but that is up to her to remedy.