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Life tips for the soul

60 replies

Slottiethesluttie · 11/07/2026 21:05

If you’re really and truly happy and fulfilled in life, please give your top tips and how you got there.

(I’m 49 and just feeling meh lately)

OP posts:
Slottiethesluttie · 12/07/2026 13:18

So many good ideas. I’ve spent most of the weekend sat here rotting thinking about what could bring some joy back to my life.

OP posts:
Luvnhugs · 12/07/2026 13:35

Slottiethesluttie · 12/07/2026 13:18

So many good ideas. I’ve spent most of the weekend sat here rotting thinking about what could bring some joy back to my life.

Nothing spectacular planned so opting for a trip to our local beach cafe. When nothing much planned, even going out to the supermarket breaks the monotony. Oh & something to watch on catch up that you missed. All very mundane although when in the right frame of mind you just feel grateful to be able to participate in the mundane things in life. That reminds me I must water my plants 😊

MindThePause · 12/07/2026 13:49

If you have depression that ISN’T a symptom of an underlying condition (like peri-meno, thyroid going wonky, low micronutrient result in blood test) do consider anti-depressants on a “suck it and see” basis if nothing else.

Gratitude practice outside (head out of a window counts) as the first thing you do every morning while the coffee is on the hob is a great help in starting the day off on the right foot.

When it is a moment of laugh or cry, choose laugh.

Optimism can be learned, even if you’ve spent the best part of a half century being pessimistic to keep yourself “safe” from disappointment.

You can find God, despite not believing in one, or any, in nature. Awesome is an overused word, but out there in nature you can rediscover its higher meaning.

The Serenity Prayer, regardless of your beliefs, or AA membership, is a fabulous grounding ritual when you feel off kilter, or need a reset, as your go about your day. On bad days it’s fine to listen to it 12 times or more. A moment of peace in a noise you have no control over is better than none.

Don’t say things you don’t mean, or pretend you believe things you don’t believe to be true in order to “fit in” with your tribe. If it’s really your tribe they’ll accept disagreement, if they won’t… these were never your people. And it’s OK if you turn out to be “unclubbable”. Some of us have to be to keep those genes in the gene pool in case they turn out useful down the line.

The News is optional. We may have been brought up to believe that daily watching is required to be informed and avoid ignorance. But nobody was built for 24/7 deliberately emotionally charged, “worst interpretation possible” media circus. Switch to a weekly round up of the driest format you have availble.

If you are going to marry, pick somebody who is as much your friend as he/she is your lover. Love can come and go. Like can get you through the “for worse”, when “for better” feels like a distant memory as your struggle with sleep deprivation, hormonal storms, bereavements and other assorted life rain.

If you spend a lot of time feeling like you, where you live, the world is broken spend lots of time looking at Kintsugi. Or take it up as a hobby.

Accept that Big Feelings, like utterly desolate sadness, or delia us happiness are moments, not states. Anywhere between not quite grumpy to moderately content is a good place to find yourself sitting on most of the time, most days.

Getting older is hard work. Take all the help you can get. No medals are awarded for suffering through anything “naturally”.

The Fabulous App (original, not the special interest new ones which I think are a bit crap to be honest) is a huge help for people going from no daily rhythm and routine to starting without overwhelm.

Endel app is great for tuning out the chatter inside your head when it’s being unhelpful.

Be a Starfish not a Hedgehog. Turns out reaching out when at a low ebb is more helpful than rolling up in a ball and refusing to respond when people poke you gingerly saying “Are you OK in there ?”

I don’t believe I’m the poster child of a happy and fulfilled life. I spent much of my life below the waterline of even wanting to stay on this mortal coil. But I think I’m in the running for the Most Improved category. I would not change places with anybody on the planet, I would change not one thing in my past because it would mean I wasn’t where and who I am right now. Most days I’m pretty content most of the time. And I know I doing what I put on this earth to do. All the above helped in moving me from where I was to where I am. And massive hug, cos Meh…. not a fun place to live.

Highlighta · 12/07/2026 13:50

Slottiethesluttie · 12/07/2026 13:18

So many good ideas. I’ve spent most of the weekend sat here rotting thinking about what could bring some joy back to my life.

It is also okay to take some quiet time, but there must be a limit as becoming a hermit is a side affect of this.

I'm happy and content now, but my situation could be deemed a bit dramatic as it's as a result of a divorce. It did though, take quite a bit of rotting to work out what I liked. You do get into a mindset of having to enjoy what others want you to, but think about if you are doing things for peace and quiet, or peace of mind.

Do you have a pet? Having a dog and taking them out and to play boosts the mood.

Go off social media for a bit. Honestly it's quite shocking how negative it is. (I haven't been on this site for a while and I can already feel the negativity pouring through).

Go for walks. Go to a gym class. Do a parkrun. If you focus on your body it rests the mind. If you need to rest your body, work your mind.

You don't have to please everyone all of the time. It is okay to say no. This is one of my biggest lessons in life. What other people then think about you as a result, doesn't matter. Their opinion is none of your concern.

Put some music on and go have a little dance in the kitchen while cooking. Buy the nice butter. Treat yourself. Everyone else doesn't always have to come first.

I hope you are okay and find your peace. 🌷

herbetta · 12/07/2026 14:18

Is this new for you? I was peri / meno but on a decent amount of HRT, so when I started to experience a lack of joy and 'flatness' I just thought that I was going to have to try harder to get the joy from things etc.

Then we upped my HRT. It was like a miracle - I completely got my mojo back (and came off my meds). I haven't looked back.

Netcurtainnelly · 12/07/2026 14:24

Play and watch sport. Truly exciting unscripted, and can keep your mind off things as well as being good exercise.

cleo333 · 12/07/2026 14:26

F

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 12/07/2026 14:28

Keep grounded and take nothing personally. Control what you can control also.

Crushed23 · 12/07/2026 14:30

Dontlletmedownbruce · 12/07/2026 00:30

Observing people who love and care for each other can be really uplifting too. Just watching a parent interact with their child in a loving way, or a couple holding hands, or some teen boys having a laugh or a group of women laughing over a drink together. When you look around there is so much love, it's just hard to see it sometimes unless we really look.

(Just realised this sounds like the opening voice over to Love Actually)

I love this. I saw a dad wiping frozen yogurt off his toddler’s face yesterday in the most endearing way. So lovely.

ThatJadeLion · 12/07/2026 14:32

Luvnhugs · 11/07/2026 22:01

Worry less about other people's opinions of you.

Try to find joy in the simple things in life. Possessions are not the key to happiness.

If people you trust betray you move on & don't hold on to grudges. You may never forgive them but you can recognise their weakness & turn it into pity.

Regardless of plans live one day at a time. Life has a way of interfering with the best laid plans.

Throw envy to the wind. Jealousy is a heavy burdon to carry.

If you are fortunate to have loved ones in your life keep them close & cherish time together. Every day could be your last. There is nothing to be gained by fighting. There are no winners.

Not everyone will like you & you won't like everyone. The important thing is to learn to like yourself.

People portraying picture perfect lives on social media never show the whole picture. Everyone has their crosses to bare.

Finally that old cliché. Stop & smell the roses.

Your question OP stopped me in my tracks & I added my thoughts as they came to my mind. I would never profess to having the key to happiness or that I'm happy 24/7. I do my best to live according to all of the above & try to remember nobody deserves a smile more than those who have none to give.

Watching the football now

Edited

Love this

concertinacornflake · 12/07/2026 14:33

Slottiethesluttie · 11/07/2026 22:32

I’m not a massive nature lover. I appreciate it of course, but am a city girl at heart

Maybe worth a try. It's incredibly good for wellbeing, and plenty of nature in cities.

concertinacornflake · 12/07/2026 14:35

Art and creativity make life worth living. Either making something or looking at what other people make.

DontrockthecaravanGeoffrey · 12/07/2026 14:46

I read five tips for happiness in a magazine a few years ago and they really work.

Avoid introspection - i.e. don't wallow or go over and over things in your head. Think them through, draw a line under them and move on.

Embrace change.

Be a leaf on a tree - make connections with people, contribute, don't be isolated.

Develop a passion - do something that makes you want to get out of bed to do it every day. I grow things and swim in the sea but it could be reading, singing - anything so long as it makes your heart sing.

Live now - don't wait for some time in the future when you have more time or thinner thighs - do it now!

Slottiethesluttie · 12/07/2026 14:51

herbetta · 12/07/2026 14:18

Is this new for you? I was peri / meno but on a decent amount of HRT, so when I started to experience a lack of joy and 'flatness' I just thought that I was going to have to try harder to get the joy from things etc.

Then we upped my HRT. It was like a miracle - I completely got my mojo back (and came off my meds). I haven't looked back.

Yes, over last few months. I am on HRT - hadn’t considered it something you can just ‘up’, I thought it was a standard dose!

OP posts:
Slottiethesluttie · 12/07/2026 14:54

Avoid introspection - i.e. don't wallow or go over and over things in your head. Think them through, draw a line under them and move on.

this is where I’m struggling. I was never like this until recently and now I can’t stop ‘thinking’ and it’s making me depressed!

OP posts:
Additup · 12/07/2026 15:05

Dontlletmedownbruce · 12/07/2026 00:25

Smile at strangers, be nice to people and they are almost always nice back. I'm a big believer in fake it til you make it, at least in superficial exchanges. People respond so much more warmly to a smile and happy person who seems engaged and listens, and asks them about their day. When I'm feeling low these little interactions going about my business really lift my spirits.

I think this is so very true. I try my best to smile at people and be friendly when out and about and the majority reciprocate. It's a lovely feeling of connection 🙂

menopausalmare · 12/07/2026 15:10

Volunteer your time with a local community group. I am a litter picker and have made so many new friends, get lots of thanks from grateful locals, keep fit and feel a great sense of self -worth. I also love in one of the cleanest boroughs in the county. Stop naval -gazing and look outwards, not inwards.

ginandheels · 12/07/2026 15:54

Decide you are going to feel excited about your life again. Then treat it as a project. Explore, experiment, play. Commit some actual time to it - even if it an hour per week. And take the pressure off - not everything you do has to be perfect or productive.

Allocate some money towards it, if you possibly can. Even a small budget will give you the thrill of investing in your own happiness. If you really can’t start the practical movement forwards, putting a small amount of money away every week/month into an ISA is a future promise and commitment to yourself. Turn your dreams into plans.

Give yourself permission. To choose, to rest, to like what you like… not what you think you should, or what other’s expect or require from you.

Make a list of all the times in your life when you have been happiest and notice what makes them so in your memory. People? Places? What was going on for you then? Were you learning new things? Enjoying the excitement of the unknown? Grateful for relationships/community around you at that point? On the edge of a new adventure? Notice and ask questions of yourself then and now. Be honest. Can you spot any patterns in terms of what you need to thrive and what is perhaps missing for you now?

Gift a bit of your time to helping others, outside of your immediate family. Whether an elderly neighbour, a local school, a charity or a community project, acts of quiet service boost our own wellbeing as well as making a practical positive contribution to the wider world and providing perspective and compassion.

Eat well. Enjoy your food. Deny yourself nothing, Moderating the booze and sugar to stabilise your blood sugar and maintain mood and increase protein for physical strength is generally helpful as we all age but it’s not a stick to beat yourself with.

Love your body now. It’s amazing. Look at what it can do and has already done. Be kind to it, treat it well, give it some time. The good bath oil, the shower gel that makes you happy in the morning, body cream that feels like a treat. Doesn’t have to be expensive, does have to make you feel good. Respect it, look after it, honour it. Dress it well - whatever that means to YOU.

HRT definitely. And some supplements - Vitmanic D, Magnesium, fish oils for starters. Book a general review with your GP, explain how you’re feeling, get them to do the standard blood and hormone tests so you know whether there is anything else going on.

Drink plenty of water. It is a simple but real game changer.

Walk outside every day. Even if it is only for 10 minutes around the block. 30 even better. Make it your time to think. Prioritise it and make it a treat, not a chore.

Keep learning. Read, listen to podcasts, play board games, do puzzles. Keep feeding your mind and be choosy about the quality of what you mentally consume.

Make yourself a mood booster kit. A playlist that makes you feel happy and energised, another for when you are relaxing and winding down. A notebook, a soft blanket, scent - candle, perfume, body wash. TV shows or movies that delight. Tea, coffee, hot chocolate, gin. Whatever your preference. A kit you can draw on when you need a bit of nurturing or consolation and are feeling ragged.

Grow something. On a windowsill, on a balcony, whether in your own garden or helping an elderly neighbour with theirs. Alternatively, volunteer at a community garden or be a willing extra pair of hands at your local allotments. All life is a cycle - seeing it in nature is comforting, somehow. Puts everything into perspective.

Stay social in real life. Time on your own is healthy and restorative but never lose the ability to engage and converse with the wider world at all ages and stages. Small interactions with meaning keep you grounded and in the moment. Thank the bus driver, ask the sales assistant how their day is going and listen to the answer. Smile and wave back at the toddler. Meeting people where they are is a gift. Online has its place but isn’t a substitute for real life.

It sounds like you might be gearing up for your next chapter and are in the dispirited lull before it gets going. Make it happen. Enjoy shaping it for yourself.

palepeony · 12/07/2026 16:00

Start living a simpler life.
Take joy in the little things.
Smile at people and they'll
smile back.
Be generous of heart.
Spend time with family and friends you love, not small talking with acquaintances.

Drivingselfmad · 12/07/2026 16:01

ginandheels · 12/07/2026 15:54

Decide you are going to feel excited about your life again. Then treat it as a project. Explore, experiment, play. Commit some actual time to it - even if it an hour per week. And take the pressure off - not everything you do has to be perfect or productive.

Allocate some money towards it, if you possibly can. Even a small budget will give you the thrill of investing in your own happiness. If you really can’t start the practical movement forwards, putting a small amount of money away every week/month into an ISA is a future promise and commitment to yourself. Turn your dreams into plans.

Give yourself permission. To choose, to rest, to like what you like… not what you think you should, or what other’s expect or require from you.

Make a list of all the times in your life when you have been happiest and notice what makes them so in your memory. People? Places? What was going on for you then? Were you learning new things? Enjoying the excitement of the unknown? Grateful for relationships/community around you at that point? On the edge of a new adventure? Notice and ask questions of yourself then and now. Be honest. Can you spot any patterns in terms of what you need to thrive and what is perhaps missing for you now?

Gift a bit of your time to helping others, outside of your immediate family. Whether an elderly neighbour, a local school, a charity or a community project, acts of quiet service boost our own wellbeing as well as making a practical positive contribution to the wider world and providing perspective and compassion.

Eat well. Enjoy your food. Deny yourself nothing, Moderating the booze and sugar to stabilise your blood sugar and maintain mood and increase protein for physical strength is generally helpful as we all age but it’s not a stick to beat yourself with.

Love your body now. It’s amazing. Look at what it can do and has already done. Be kind to it, treat it well, give it some time. The good bath oil, the shower gel that makes you happy in the morning, body cream that feels like a treat. Doesn’t have to be expensive, does have to make you feel good. Respect it, look after it, honour it. Dress it well - whatever that means to YOU.

HRT definitely. And some supplements - Vitmanic D, Magnesium, fish oils for starters. Book a general review with your GP, explain how you’re feeling, get them to do the standard blood and hormone tests so you know whether there is anything else going on.

Drink plenty of water. It is a simple but real game changer.

Walk outside every day. Even if it is only for 10 minutes around the block. 30 even better. Make it your time to think. Prioritise it and make it a treat, not a chore.

Keep learning. Read, listen to podcasts, play board games, do puzzles. Keep feeding your mind and be choosy about the quality of what you mentally consume.

Make yourself a mood booster kit. A playlist that makes you feel happy and energised, another for when you are relaxing and winding down. A notebook, a soft blanket, scent - candle, perfume, body wash. TV shows or movies that delight. Tea, coffee, hot chocolate, gin. Whatever your preference. A kit you can draw on when you need a bit of nurturing or consolation and are feeling ragged.

Grow something. On a windowsill, on a balcony, whether in your own garden or helping an elderly neighbour with theirs. Alternatively, volunteer at a community garden or be a willing extra pair of hands at your local allotments. All life is a cycle - seeing it in nature is comforting, somehow. Puts everything into perspective.

Stay social in real life. Time on your own is healthy and restorative but never lose the ability to engage and converse with the wider world at all ages and stages. Small interactions with meaning keep you grounded and in the moment. Thank the bus driver, ask the sales assistant how their day is going and listen to the answer. Smile and wave back at the toddler. Meeting people where they are is a gift. Online has its place but isn’t a substitute for real life.

It sounds like you might be gearing up for your next chapter and are in the dispirited lull before it gets going. Make it happen. Enjoy shaping it for yourself.

I really like your post @ginandheels - reminds me of the 90s song ‘Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)’ Wise words!

TheIdlerReturns · 12/07/2026 16:08

Similar to what a lot are saying:

nature
animals
simple things
meditation
yoga
reading
good tv series
writing
swimming
running
good diet
sleep
lovely DH
gratitude
letting go of grudges / resentment
letting go of family if necessary
good health
self worth (but not arrogant)
gardening / plants
improving knowledge
solitude
sunscreen

FeetupTvon · 12/07/2026 16:15

Simple life for me. Limited time on social media. Read books, plant flowers, go for long walks in beautiful places, feed the wildlife, watch tv programmes that make you laugh, eat well, cut out alcohol and needless stress.

backformoreofthesame · 12/07/2026 16:15

Volunteer at something even if it’s just once a year thing

fellupthestairs · 12/07/2026 16:16

Remember that what other people think of you is none of your business

DemiVie · 12/07/2026 16:43

No alcohol.

Get your happiness from the stuff you do, not from other people.

Have a life outside of work

Spend as much time in nature as you possibly can.

Eat and sleep well and exercise lots

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