Scary experience at Wasabi today

[Jane379]

I was at the bus stop outside Clapham Junction today and a well-built man was making odd grimacing faces and waving his arms. I suspected he was mentally ill/on drugs and went into the nearby Wasabi to get some food & wait until he had gone. Unfortunately he also came in & waving his arms, grabbed some food and went out again. The shopkeeper just chuckled, I was quite afraid.
I waited a bit as I wasn't sure if he was hanging around outside. Then he came in again and growled at the shopkeeper, who stood his ground until he left again.

I asked the shopkeeper if he could do anything & he said he'd phoned someone to deal with the situation.

The man didn't threaten anyone, and I've seen men like this at bus stops before without being that scared, but not as well-built as this, nor in shops either. Shops have always been a refuge in places I've felt unsafe, although I know this isn't guaranteed.

The shopkeeper was brave but he shouldn't have needed to be. People on drugs must be helped, and shops need to be safe.

Mean and goady. Troll type post.

I've spent a fair bit of time in London recently and it was quite eye-opening, the amount of people with clearly significant mental health issues wandering the streets - quite often around tube stations etc. I visit a lot of other cities and town regularly, both UK and abroad and have never seen it as bad as London seems to be at the moment. It signals (to me anyway) a serious lack of funding/resources in mental health in London.

It's common knowledge that MH services in this country has been systematically dismantled since the 70s starting with 'Care In The Community' and that essentially meant no care at all.

My Mum was in and out of a mental health hospital from the age of 23. She used to be sectioned and carted off to a really good MH hospital that covered literally acres and acres of land. My bestie at school had the same experience with her father to a different huge facility in the neighbouring county but both these hospitals have gone along with hundreds of others in the country.

Seeing people with MH issues is commonplace, especially on trains and in high streets.

It’s ridiculous when people spout “harmless” or “unwell” - NO people do not have a right or free pass to scare others.

There was (or is) a man locally who, dressed just in a high-vis vest was jumping out at lone women dog walkers saying he was going to kill them. The police’s answer was that they’d talked to him and he was harmless. F-ing great. Now women know to avoid that area. What a result….

In London people like this are invariably on drugs as well as mentally ill. I can see a future of fentanyl-fuelled tent cities à la US - and if Oxford St is pedestrianised….

'The guy doesn't sound like he did anything wrong'- well, he did shoplift. And the growling and arm-waving from a well-built man was disturbing, even if his condition was harmless and he didn't mean to be.

If you were near a well-built man acting like that, would you feel completely unworried?

'and you've no proof he was either mentally unwell or on drugs. Other than being of large build?'-don't be silly, it's likely that someone growling and waving their arms like that isn't wholly mentally healthy.

'So people who look and sound different shouldn't be allowed in fast food shops?'- to be clear, I know there are conditions like Tourettes or autism that cause vocalisations. I don't mean that people with conditions like this shouldn't be allowed into shops. But hallucinatory mental health conditions or drug use could cause behaviour like what I witnessed yesterday, and they could be potentially dangerous.

This sounds fairly standard for many areas of London tbh. I grew up in Lewisham and have now moved to the country. Still every time I go back it seems worse than it was when I lived there, and it wasn't great then either

I think London is the wrong place for you

"could, might, likely" Could also be fine, might also have autism and likely wouldn't have harmed you. You're searching for justification.

The fact you say shops are usually your place to go when you feel unsafe indicates you’ve a back story here. I have seen lots of odd ball behavuour, as have most others, I’ve never had to take refuge in a shop as I feel unsafe,

to be honest, no I’d not have reacted like you, I’d have moved on, that’s all, you won’t have been the only person about and clearly he didn’t threaten anyone. The shop keepers reaction indicates he is used to this man and likely knew who to contact to come help him,

I think this is more about your resilience and ability to risk assess.

So, it's fine, and we should never be cautious?

I agree it's probably common for at least some of London, but that has to change (How though?).

Clapham Junction generally has felt fairly secure to me though, but not that particular area near the station. I normally avoid it- yesterday I was waiting by the bus stop there but I don't think I'll do that again.

London definitely has got more dangerous but overall I don't generally feel unsafe.

Are you basing London getting more dangerous on any statistics? Or this experience?

Charming, we are all welcome to post opinions on here. Whay we can’t do is attack people for having them,

Yes, several posts here seem a bit odd to me. I thought contrarian responses would be more likely on AIBU but maybe not!

I wouldn't feel like people who strangers believe are mentally ill or on drugs should be banned from fast food shops.

What do you suggest 'they' do with men who are of large build who move their arms or shout? Or shoplift? The shop worker clearly didn't care much about the latter so I don't think you need to either really.

I do appreciate you felt scared but you said he didn't do anything threatening so I don't really know what you allege the solution to be?

Goodness knows why some people are being so unsympathetic, really. It’s clearly horrible to be around people such as that. The fact that many people are numb and armoured doesn't make it less horrible, it just means people have had to switch off their fear responses, at least consciously.

'I have seen lots of odd ball behavuour, as have most others, I’ve never had to take refuge in a shop as I feel unsafe'

• I don't think it's particularly odd to go into a shop if someone at the bus stop is acting potentially erratically, for instance.

And what do you mean by this?- 'The fact you say shops are usually your place to go when you feel unsafe indicates you’ve a back story here'- a backstory of what?

'to be honest, no I’d not have reacted like you, I’d have moved on, that’s all'- I think you missed that I was waiting for a bus. I planned to stay in Wasabi until the bus came as the man was pacing up and down by the bus stop. After the incident in the shop I decided to get the train, but if you're waiting for a bus you can't always necessarily 'move on'.

'you won’t have been the only person about'- that's true, but that isn't necessarily that protective. People might worry on the Tube, say, if someone were acting erratically, even if there were lots of people in the carriage with them.

And even if he was harmless, stealing food shouldn't be allowed. I reported it to the police later on

Gee, I bet they’ll be right on that🫤. He was likely mentally ill, and unless he actually dies something considered dangerous (and nothing you describe fits that), then nothing will happen, he likely won’t get the help he needs unfortunately as mental health services have had the absolute guts ripped out of them.

Thank you.

I get people being numbed but there's nothing wrong with being alert. I don't personally think it's very safe to stay in the vicinity of someone acting that way and I don't see why that's controversial. Nor do I think it's unreasonable to be afraid.

Unfortunately it is the uncertainty as to what the person might do which is hard to deal with, or concerning, or even frightening.
We understand that people with mental health problems or conditions are most probably not inherently dangerous, the trouble is that we cannot know this with certainty.
And of course many of us have little experience in how to deal with situations like this. We should be kind, of course, but we should also be careful.

Thank you, exactly.

'And of course many of us have little experience in how to deal with situations like this'- yes, I think some pps upthread said they had experience of working with mentally ill people, which would of course mean they'd have more knowledge to assess a situation like that.

'We understand that people with mental health problems or conditions are most probably not inherently dangerous, the trouble is that we cannot know this with certainty.'-it's a bit like when pps on here post about feeling worried if they're alone on a street & a man's walking behind them. Most probably he'll be fine, but from the outside you can't know that & it's reasonable to feel a bit concerned.

“Bit concerned l”? Sure

scared? A bit OTT for a Londoner regarding a man you say never one threatened anyone or appeared a threat

Best go live in the countryside @Jane379 , you are clearly not suited to living in any city where this sort of thing is common. It is also unreasonable to expect that the freedom of people should be curtailed because you feel scared disproportionately.

This man did nothing to you, or to the shopkeeper, who clearly wasn’t bothered. By all means be alert of someone is behaving unusually but no need to overreact.

Agree. A poor woman was murdered in Birmingham at the end of last year, waiting for a bus in the city centre at 5pm. Stabbed in the neck by a random man with mental health problems. I’m sure up until that point she felt perfectly safe, probably doing something she did every day. Nobody actually knows how someone around you is going to act. And it’s okay to be wary. And it’s okay, to protect yourself in whatever way you feel comfortable.