Scary experience at Wasabi today

[Jane379]

I was at the bus stop outside Clapham Junction today and a well-built man was making odd grimacing faces and waving his arms. I suspected he was mentally ill/on drugs and went into the nearby Wasabi to get some food & wait until he had gone. Unfortunately he also came in & waving his arms, grabbed some food and went out again. The shopkeeper just chuckled, I was quite afraid.
I waited a bit as I wasn't sure if he was hanging around outside. Then he came in again and growled at the shopkeeper, who stood his ground until he left again.

I asked the shopkeeper if he could do anything & he said he'd phoned someone to deal with the situation.

The man didn't threaten anyone, and I've seen men like this at bus stops before without being that scared, but not as well-built as this, nor in shops either. Shops have always been a refuge in places I've felt unsafe, although I know this isn't guaranteed.

The shopkeeper was brave but he shouldn't have needed to be. People on drugs must be helped, and shops need to be safe.

Of course you would feel uneasy with a large man acting erratically!

There is another thread where a man just made a comment to a woman asking why she crossed the street when she saw him coming from the other side, or something similar, and everyone said he was creepy!

So, how is it that a man doing the things you described aren't scary? The contradictions lack reasoning.

That aside, the best thing you can do when you feel threatened is to leave the situation. If the shop owner isn't bothered, but you are, shop elsewhere.

Also, learn women's self defence. It helps you spot, and deal with, true and perceived threats so you don't have to seek validation from others and will feel safer, in general.

You are minimising what happened. He did threaten OP by following her into the same shop, growling and waving his arms. That shop is quite small , with only one exit. The shop assistant is protected by the counter and got a back door to escape. This leaves OP as a main target in the shop.

I find the ‘threatening and unpleasant interactions with crackheads’ issue really escalates when then weather is so warm.

Quite a few of the lunch places (Pret etc) by my office now have security staff to keep them out - stealing, harassing customers, freaking everyone one.

Just one of the oddities of living in a big city.

This sums it up.

Have you not lived / commuted in London for very long? Because it does seem a bit of an over reaction to start a thread over it. I’d rather that situation in a shop, than in the tube, which is where I usually see it. YANBU to think it’s unacceptable though.

Sorry but this is going to happen anywhere and at any time, MH episodes can happen and people are not on the best places often for them to de treated. It happens to all sorts of people, therefore well built men will come into that category. The growling didn’t necessarily mean aggression,

If you feel this distressed you literally can’t go out, if someone hasn’t even threatened you, just been on the vicinity of you, then what’s the alternative.

The police are not there to attend theft from a shop like Wasabi, they can employ security or install security measures.

OP, would you recommend that people who are mentally ill and wave their hand and make faces are locked up and kept away from society?

A few people with these behaviours live near me. I can't imagine thinking I have the right to never have to see them, to the extent that their right to exist in public is over-ridden.

Literally nothing happened to you. You are being outrageously unreasonable.

And I don't think people in that state (having a mental health episode/on drugs) should be in shops when in that state.

Being visibly different in public, eh? Shocking.

It isn't unreasonable to feel apprehensive when someone is behaving erratically, OP, just as you might have a moment of shock if you saw someone with a highly visible facial difference due to accident or illness.

What is unreasonable is failing to catch yourself and remind yourself that everyone has a right to go about and live their lives, even if they are suffering from illnesses that attract stigma.

Crikey, do you live in London? I do and if I reported everyone who acted strangely or everyone I saw nicking a sandwich, it would be a full time job for me.

But what did you expect others to do? You sound like you deserve protection from other people which is weird. The guy in the shop handled it or tried to, you didnt do anything, but are now blaming the shopkeeper? I dont understand.

Sometimes you will see mentally ill people like this and its very sad but other people arent there to be your bodyguards judt because they work in the shop you happened to be standing in.

I would hate for more incidents like the child thrown from a balcony from Tate modern or the child thrown to a crocodile in the zoo. They were with carers and still created incidents. I do feel bothered by the relax approach in this country in general.

So you accept these things? What a dump London has become then eh? I never saw or would accept this as oh well we live in London. It wasn’t like this for sure.

I love the “relaxed approach” of the UK

long may it last

You are still allowed to be exasperated / intimidated by it, even if it’s something that happens fairly regularly!

I don’t think London is a dump at all, but all sorts of people live here and I’m surprised that someone who lives in London doesn’t see odd behaviour every day. I certainly do and accept it. I think there is a difference between odd and aggressive behaviour.

It’s horrible witnessing stuff like this and feeling unsafe, it’s really disturbing, I hate it too. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

Yes. It has deteriorated massively.

I was literally just about to say this!

The OP is entitled to report the food theft but the police will just file it under 'fuck it', and that's if they file it at all.

I agree. The minimising on this thread is ridiculous. According to some posters the man was not a threat, possibly starving and probably ill and most likely harmless - yeah, until he's not.
You were right to report this to the police OP, who knows if anything will be done but they need to be aware.

Ffs!!! No words.

He sounds more like he’s mentally unwell. Not much people can do except call the police/ambulance.

That spot can be a tricky area though. I saw a guy throw another in front of a bus there once. Everyone ok thankfully.

I think with this the feeling of being unsafe it often depends on people's exposure /experience of people with mental illness, like for me I have a lot of experience with people who have mental health problems and my own brother has severe schizophrenia so behaviour like the one op is describing honestly probably wouldn't even register with me, not saying it can't be frightening but me personally I wouldn't have been bothered at all. However, doesn't mean you don't have a right to feel scared op and the best you can do is just remove yourself from situations you don't feel safe in, and report anything you feel should be reported. There just isn't enough resource or funding in this country to care for people with mental health and addiction problems unfortunately. And the threshold for things like sectioning someone under the mental health act is very high.

Oh? What WOULD you do about crazy people? Go on what’s your magical solution

So people who look and sound different shouldn't be allowed in fast food shops? I'd imagine if there was a serious issue with danger or asb then the shop would be compelled to employ a security guard.

The guy doesn't sound like he did anything wrong and you've no proof he was either mentally unwell or on drugs. Other than being of large build?