Scary experience at Wasabi today

[Jane379]

I was at the bus stop outside Clapham Junction today and a well-built man was making odd grimacing faces and waving his arms. I suspected he was mentally ill/on drugs and went into the nearby Wasabi to get some food & wait until he had gone. Unfortunately he also came in & waving his arms, grabbed some food and went out again. The shopkeeper just chuckled, I was quite afraid.
I waited a bit as I wasn't sure if he was hanging around outside. Then he came in again and growled at the shopkeeper, who stood his ground until he left again.

I asked the shopkeeper if he could do anything & he said he'd phoned someone to deal with the situation.

The man didn't threaten anyone, and I've seen men like this at bus stops before without being that scared, but not as well-built as this, nor in shops either. Shops have always been a refuge in places I've felt unsafe, although I know this isn't guaranteed.

The shopkeeper was brave but he shouldn't have needed to be. People on drugs must be helped, and shops need to be safe.

But he may not have been on drugs.

He made some noises, pulled some faces, and waved his arms. You said yourself he didn't threaten anyone.

In what way was the shop unsafe? You said the shopkeeper "chuckled" - which implies he didn't feel unsafe.

Did the man approach you?

How do you know he was on drugs?

I used to work round the corner to a mental health unit and the staff and I would regularly witness scary, disturbing behaviour.

No idea if any of it was caused by drugs.

She said on drugs/mentally ill. Which means she wasn't sure .

OP I have been in this situation recently and it was intimidating. You did the right thing going into a shop but probably not much else you can do.

To be honest it sounds like the shop keeper knew the man. Probably knows he'll ill/disabled but harmless.

And then bizarrely ended with

People on drugs must be helped, and shops need to be safe.

Tbh sounds perfectly normal for every night st in the country.

That's a bit unnecessarily dismissive imo.
Maybe, as you say, the shopkeeper knew he wasn't dangerous, but how was I to know that? People who are clearly not in their right mind (whether due to drugs or mental illness or potentially both) are often unpredictable, especially if they're complete strangers.

No he didn't approach me, but it was disturbing for him to come into the shop twice (I've been in these kinds of situations before but people have stayed out of shops so I've been able to wait there) growling & waving his arms & steal food. Whether the shopkeeper knew him or not, he clearly didn't feel comfortable challenging the theft either.

And even if he was harmless, stealing food shouldn't be allowed. I reported it to the police later on.

Right, but even if he's OK with stuff like that happening, are the other customers supposed to be? People who are mentally ill should be helped, but stealing shouldn't be allowed either.

Stealing food isn't "allowed" - there are laws against stealing. Though depending on the circumstances and how they go about it, personally I would rather people stole food than starved.

I am sorry you had an upsetting experience, but such is life - some people are, sadly, unwell and will act in ways that may feel intimidating. What measures are you calling for that will make shops feel safer for you? I am not trying to be unkind, it's a genuine question.

That’s the shopkeeper’s issue to deal with.

You sound like you’re desperate to justify your own fright by making this man threatening, mentally ILL, on drugs AND a thief. The theft is for the shopkeeper to report. You sound mostly pissed off that the shopkeeper didn’t throw him out of your shop because you got a fright.

Sorry you reported it to the police? What? Why? Surely that’s the job of the shopkeeper or were you reporting him for waving his arms and maybe being mentally ill or on drugs?

Kindly , you ate being ridiculous. Its okay and normal to feel some anxiety around different peopl, bur aside from him waving his arms and making noises he didnt actually threaten you. Yes stealing is bad, but nowadays its best not to try and stop them because one doesnt know if theu have knives etc. The shopkeeper isnt paid enough to intervebe

Locking people up because they make you uncomfortable isn't ok
There isn't money to provide carers for all the people that can't shop alone
There's definately not money to provide carers to shop with all the people that might make someone feel "uncomfortable". It's not whether the customers are "suppose to be" comfortable, it's that kicking someone out because of their mental health or ability is illegal unless you can prove their presence is a REAL danger that can only be mitigated by kicking them out! Which given he didn't harm you and you don't appear to have seen him harm anyone else, the shop keeper would have no grounds to do

I’m with you OP. What you have witnessed is a sign of a breakdown of social norms. Women are more vulnerable to physical violence and escalation. You obviously had no idea how it would develop and felt unsafe. The threat was real and dangerous regardless of underlying diagnosis. To protect yourself in the future master situational awareness- create as much space as possible between yourself and a potential threat. You are absolutely right that shops / public spaces are not safe anymore nowadays. I live locally to that Wasabi place and can totally relate to your experience.

OP, I've had similar experiences. Ignore the arseholes telling you you're just making something out of nothing. When all your instincts are telling you something is very off. then you're probably right. Some people are just very lucky to have led sheltered lives.

Unfortunately, nothing will be done, so all you can do is protect yourself as far as possible - which means get away from him, as quickly as possible, and try not to antagonise them in any way. That's sadly all you can do .

100% this. I live round those parts, knows exactly what you mean and he was extremely likely to be on crack. A lot of people are around there these days. I’m sorry you felt frightened, it’s horrible.

I understand OP. I dont know what the answer is and its not for the shopkeeper to put himself at active risk.

I ended up in a horrible situation too thinking I was safer in the shop and initially thought the person was just autustic and stimming because they kept wooping, but turns out they were off their face acting horribly and really intimidating. Im gutted that I freeze in these situations.

Dont know what the answer is other than to try and plan out what to do if you do feel threatened. I still think going into the shop was the right thing.

Welcome to Battersea ✌️

Why shouldn't you report a theft witnessed to the police? To be clear, I witnessed this man steal from Wasabi.

People who are in that state could be dangerous to others, the police should be aware.

When I phoned them, they said nothing had been reported. Either way, there's no harm in them having a log.

personally I would rather people stole food than starved.- people shouldn't need to steal if they can access UC or a food bank. Obviously some people can fall through the net, though.

'What measures are you calling for that will make shops feel safer for you?'- well, there should be a bigger crackdown on shoplifting for a start. Also better investment in services so people are not wandering around public places in a potentially dangerous (both for them & others) state due to MH or drugs.

A well built man growling, waving arms and stealing is threatening even if he doesn't mean to be, especially if, like me, you're female & not particularly strong. I'm not 'making him' a thief, I saw him steal. I don't need to justify my fright, I was reasonable to be afraid.

And I don't think people in that state (having a mental health episode/on drugs) should be in shops when in that state. Their behaviour in that kind of state isn't predictable and could potentially be dangerous to someone else, or themselves.

So a person waved their arms and made unusual noises, walked into a restaurant and bought food. Didn't threaten anyone. Sounds like a non event? Im sorry you felt scared but from what you've said the man did nothing illegal

Stand corrected. Stole food. But still, not a direct threat
Im not wanting to minimise your experience but you can't ban people who wave their hands and make faces from shops.
Did you tell the shop assistant you felt unsafe? There are lots of places displaying a safe place logo these days, buses included, not sure if it was one f those

Sorry, I think you are overreacting. There are a lot of mentally ill people around, since Covid I’ve noticed. He didn’t threaten you and the fact the shop keeper chuckled suggests they are familiar with him.