Why won't my parents use a taxi?

[Birthdayfeel]

Both have become old and frail with limited mobility almost overnight, after being very sprightly well into their 80s.

Getting them to arrange the help they need in all areas is challenging, but this one is a mystery to me.

Mum is more capable than Dad and has always been someone who likes to be busy. Dad is happier just to sit.

They have always been careful with money, but are very well off.

The main things Mum wants to go to are the library, Supermarket and the Community Centre, all within 10mins walk when they were able.

I'm genuinely happy to drive them when I can, but when I can't they just don't go. Taxis are plentful here and they can easily afford the cost of the short trips, but they won't, despite Mum being very disappointed when she can't go to these things. It leaves me feeling rubbish for saying no, I need to work (albeit frrom home).

My DH is the spitting image of his Mother when he tries to read something without his glasses on. Same screwed up face cockeyedness. It's pretty horrifying 😆

Of course you won't 🤣

My mum has become similar. She feels frightened being in a car with a strange man.

The one in my area is struggling to get volunteers & is really struggling to do hospital trips, barely able to do Drs/Dentists. Tthe drivers are all getting on now & the next generation aren't volunteering. There's no way they can do unrest/friends/community centre.

theres a mini bus thing, but it's complicated to work out.

Would she use a mobility scooter?

That’s shocking.

My mum doesn’t like taxis because the ones we have used for airport runs have just not turned up, so thinks they are completely unreliable (which they do seem to be round here!.

My mum is in her 80s, it is very unlikely that she would get a taxi somewhere. In fact I have never known her to get one, ever. I believe she would view it as a frivolous waste of money and just not something she will ever do.

To a lot of older people taxis are seen as a total luxury about as bad as hiring a chauffeur and Rolls Royce for the day. They just won't.

My MIL is exactly the same. Very well off , she could easily get taxi's anywhere she wants but she just complains oh that's £20 for the trip to the doctors and back instead she expects my OH to have a day off work ..which much to my annoyance he will do thus she saves £20 and he loses a full days pay!

Having exactly this battle with DM who doesn’t drive (after the sudden death of DF who did all the driving.) There’s various reasons. DM doesn’t like change. She’s never done this in her life. Is nervous of the new experience. She knows what she knows and wants no other. Everything is a major, huge drama (including this.) She too can afford but sees it as money for nothing tangible. Also stressing about who the driver will be. What will the neighbours think too if they see her in a taxi? All reasons that mean nothing to us but everything to her. At end of day you can’t force them.

They think of them as staff and don't know how to talk to them.

My sister who lives abroad and was not able to give much practical help to my parents in their later years set up a taxi account which she paid for
It really helped them going for a while which was great
They were totally against me paying for taxis and while they could well afford it seemed to think taxis were a n unaffordable luxury
Because my sister was abroad and they didn’t actually see her paying that seemed to be okay

Is it possible they are losing confidence now and feeling less sure about doing the things they used to do? They perhaps feel they want the extra support of having your help.

DF continued to drive or get the bus and now he's sadly passed Mum will happily get a taxi. Fortunately she hasn't had to yet because we DC and family have worked it out. We don't like the idea of it, she needs help getting out of the car, which drivers don't tend to do these days.

If she had to I would arrange one and stipulate extra help is needed, something you could do, organise the taxi so it's waiting ready to drip off and pick up? It may feel daunting for them to actually book it? Xx

I have a bit of a block about taxis. I find them the ultimate extravagance somehow, compared say to a meal out which costs much more. Not very rational, but very ingrained.
Would they be prepared to buy mobility scooters? Do the same job, cost much more, but you then 'have' something to keep and use again and again so it could be seen as an investment rather than just frittering money up the wall.

Do you have CallConnect or similar in your area?
I'm in South Lincolnshire and it's a mini bus service also adapted for wheelchair users so low steps, lift etc.My disabled neighbour uses it all the time,It's for elderly/infirm people in general.
Door to door service.
She rings and books for the time she wants to go and return. It's her lifeline for town trips.
You could enquire at their local council.

It could be that the taxi drivers are not very patient with slower older people.

After all time is money

Many moons Ago my DM was able to swap her bus pass for taxi tokens. Don’t know if that’s still a thing.

MiL is like this - very well off but seems very nervous of using a taxi.

Dad has recently been stuck with no option but to use a taxi. He has given up driving.

He grumbled about the cost ...not that he couldn't afford it, more that it was a rip off and the driver a rip off merchant. I reassured him that the amount sounded reasonable, the going rate.

Ppl tend to forget the cost of running a car.

Taxi = luxury for many of that generation. Plus in my DMs case, she never drove so had no idea of the cost relating to car ownership.
She seemed to think it was better and cheaper if one of us drove 150 mile round trip to take her somewhere or run an errand. It most definitely was cheaper - for her!
The one time my DB put his foot down when she needed something urgently dropping off somewhere 3 miles from her house (72 miles from either DB or me), DB ordered a taxi to collect the item from DM and drop it at it's required destination. It cost her £9 and she went on about the cost as if she'd had to spend her life's savings.

Taxis were considered a decadent luxury when they were young. My ILs were the same.

We set up an account for them with a local taxi firm which made things easier.

I am so glad you have a lovely understanding adult child. 💐

I think it’s a generational thing sometimes. My parents never took a taxi in their lives. They would’ve thought it was the height of unnecessary extravagance. Luckily for them, my mum only stopped driving at 88 and my dad never gave up so was always around to give her lifts etc. They both died in their 90s.

All well and good if you live in a large town. One of my local towns has one taxi and the other has 2/